iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 05/10/2026

feels like the last place that sort of thing should happen

Key Points
An employee at Russia’s anti-plague institute has died from a suspected case of plague.

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 02/10/2026

i take back everything bad i've ever said about lesbians in western massachusetts

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 01/10/2026

not sure why no one sent us millions of dollars to make this immediately...

Tone

Absurdist comedy: Why is there a Cowboy who is a doctor?
How did he fight in the Civil War if the show takes place in
the present day? How can you shoot the cancer out of
someone?

These questions will never be answered.

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 01/10/2026

in the bonus episode of Quorators this week, Alex and I briefly discuss the time we pitched a tv show called Cowboy M.D. that everyone hates and how we included this image at the end of the pitch but it somehow *still* didn't get picked up www.patreon.com/quorators

us writing COWBOY MD on a whiteboard and then drawing a line through the C

and then it says "An idea that... makes CENTS"

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 26/09/2026

went to a punk show in a basement venue during the nor'easter and made it home alive 👍

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 24/09/2026

if you think about how small my family is, when my grandpa died that was the equivalent of one million 9/11s

Benjamin Netanyahu says October 7th was the equivalent of "sixteen 9/11s."

"Proportionately," the death of 1,200 Israelis is "equal to" the death of 40,000 Americans, he says.

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 21/09/2026

i tried to dress as Forrest for Halloween in 2015 and literally zero people got it

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 21/09/2026

had a few things i needed to get off my chest ❤️

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 18/09/2026

said the wrong made up nerd name on my podcast

Stupid uncultured Jeremy referred to the cat people race from Skyrim as Kashyyyk, a planet from Star Wars, instead of Khajiit!

[pic of Harakiri]

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 17/09/2026

you should be allowed to take a shit for more than 10 minutes if you really gotta

‘Not a place to scroll': NYC's new public bathrooms auto-open door after 10 minutes

freedom of speech guy standing up painting

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 16/09/2026

separating the art from the artist

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 15/09/2026

🚨 Jeremy Kaplowitz has officially dropped out of the Ed Sheeren tour.

I have made the difficult decision to withdraw myself from the worldwide Ed Sheeran "The Loop" tour due to his inability to denounce the ongoing genocide in Palestine.

Currently, I am secretly hidden in the wheels of his tour bus and was planning to infiltrate his arena show by claiming to be an opening act and performing 20-40 minutes of solo spoken word poetry, or as long as I could before being tackled to the ground by security. But I cannot stand by Ed anymore.

I do not take this decision lightly. I know many (future) Jeremy Kaplowitz fans are going to be disappointed to not get to learn about my really awesome work, but I simply cannot abide by people who claim to "not wanna get political" when it's about murdering tens of thousands of people. Also I think he ruined that one Game of Thrones episode, which is even worse in retrospect, when you consider how few good ones we ultimately had left at that point.

To Ed, thank you for everything you have done so far to support me. You don't know who I am, but I was the one who kept stealing half of your sandwiches on the tour bus when you weren't looking and your manager kept saying you were "acting crazy." I hope you understand where I am coming from (think killing children is bad), even though you say it's icky to have to think about.

Free Palestine.

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 14/09/2026

"The Anjin says he plays the cowardly Terran race"

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 12/09/2026

not sure what's so fucking funny about remembering the legacy of 9/11 victims like Hugh G. Rection

dumb video entitled "AOC and Mamdani were seen laughing together as the names of 9/11 victims were read at Ground Zero"

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 10/09/2026

how are they even getting these pictures of people???

photo of me on the toilet on the big screen at the republican convention at dallas

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 10/09/2026

hey @markruffalo.bsky.social can we get another movie in the "mark ruffalo discovers the truth" genre?

They knew and they let it happen. (Spotlight)

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 05/09/2026

i just don't see how this helping to figure out my dialect

If you would refer to a man's genitalia, perhaps for being incredibly large, what word would you use to describe it?

- penis
- cock
- dick
- dingaling
- 12 inch monster cock
- lightning bug
- I have no word for this critter
- other

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 04/09/2026

paul: "i've been reading about Hitler and he's actually really cool" scytale: "you see how this looks, right?"

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 03/09/2026

this AI generated pizza flier i got says you can save money by tipping less

under grubhub it suggests a 20% tip and under "our app" it suggests a 15% tip (albeit with slightly less in fees)

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 31/08/2026

my friend after months of me begging him to watch Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie

Haven't finished it yet, and obviously it's too soon to say but maybe on my list of favorite movies of all time

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 29/08/2026

TWO COMEDIANS TOLD THE SAME JOKE???

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 28/08/2026

when I first got my cat, a shitty friend of mine (who i later had a falling out with) warned me that if I named him Milo that people would forever associate him with Milo Yiannopoulos. nine years later, Milo the Cat is the most famous and beloved Milo on the planet

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 27/08/2026

the shared quorators youtube recommendations are currently 90% insane workout videos and 10% cards

KING SIZE KILLER: SIMPLY STRONG SERIES
STOP TRYING TO BURN FAT NUDGE IT INSTEAD
THE SECRET TRAINING METHOD?
Can You spot the run-losing Slay the Spire 2 play?

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 26/08/2026

for several minutes i truly thought this was just a white boy wearing a shirt that says "islam"

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 20/08/2026

i got married 4 years ago today. which means that i have been married for the same amount of time that i went to college. which means i now basically have a degree in being a husband. which means that i will be putting it on my resume

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 20/08/2026

more jokes i did about Liquid Death last year for Abolish Everything because why not? why not post a lil clip where i zoom in too close to my face because it's made to be seen on tv and not a phone?

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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 18/08/2026

how it feels posting a cheesy pun