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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴

@jbgrumpstone.bsky.social
1.2K followers 1.4K following 1.3K posts

🖊Word creature. 🪶Birb person. Basically just an old fart-in-a-bottle left on a dusty shelf somewhere in Brooklyn, NY. website: www.grumpstonegazette.com linktree: linktr.ee/justine.gardner

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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21h
Day 6: Weather Mist on the Hill of Graves. #31DaysofGraves #graveaday #cemetery
A photo of a misty field of low tombstones, some tumbled over, leafless tree overhanging in forefront and on horizon.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Day 5: Vehicle This was a tough one for #31DaysofGraves so I give you “Beautiful Fall Day in Historic Cemetery Directly in Major Airport’s Flight Path.”
A photo showing a graveyard with looming trees and a swath of blue sky with a teeny airplane in upper left. (Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, Ny)
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Day 4: Entrance #31DaysofGraves #cemetery
A photo of a tomb much overgrown with ivy, family name Brunson over the door. From Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Mazel!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
These new department of “war” ads during the Yankees-Tampa game are something else.
static.klipy.com
Soldier Says I'm Doing My Part
ALT: Soldier Says I'm Doing My Part
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Day 3: Glass These are the skylights for Green-Wood’s catacombs. Every time I encounter them I think of hobbit holes as the catacombs are built into the underside of a hill. #31DaysofGraves #cemetery #greenwood
Two rows of small glass skylights spread across the top of the grassy hill in Green-Wood Cemetery.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Day 2: Urns I call this “Draped Urn with Bonus Chonky Boy.” #31DaysofGraves #graveaday #greenwood
A cemetery scene on a sunny fall day, shaping several large monuments: sitting placidly among them: a chonky woodchuck. At Green-wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
#flowers
A photo of some graves on a browned grassy hillside dotted with pale purple flowers. (Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY.)
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Thanks for the list! Came across the # and thought I’d join in. (I know I have flowers in my 10,000 cemetery pics somewhere.)
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Day 1: welcome to my happy place. #31DaysofGraves #cemetery #graveaday
A photo of a path in Green-Wood Cemetery showing graves along the grassy left with a tree overhanging, leaves just starting to turn.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Around here we call it "gentrification gray."
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Why does everything coming out of this man’s mouth feel like he watches a highlight reel of Homelander from The Boys to get himself in the mood?
static.klipy.com
Homelander The Boys
Alt: Homelander from The Boys gif saying “I’m stronger, I’m better, I’m smarter”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Spelling Bee rejects a lot of words based on whatever their high-faultin’ NYT style deems acceptable but COME ON. 🐝🤬 #spellingbee
A screenshot of the nytimes word game spelling bee showing the word “turd” that it rejects as legitimate.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I see The Deep is now influencing FBI hiring policy.
static.klipy.com
The Deep Watches Octopus in The Boys
Alt: The Deep Watches Octopus in The Boys
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
PSA: If you're in the NYC metro area that strange humming sound you started to hear around 8 a.m. was millions of parents/caregivers collectively muttering "thank fucking god." #firstdayofschool #nyc
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Condolences. It’s never easy when they leave us.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
🐈‍⬛ Welp guess I gotta wash that cutting board before I use it again. #caturday #blackcat #void
Black cat sitting with its butt hole directly on a cutting board on a kitchen counter because she is shady AF.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
What in actual fuck.
Close up of the name change of Lake Ontario by the craven toolbags at Google.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I have been a freelancer for a very loooonnnnnng time, so there is no excuse for missing a deadline. Like just completely and totally forgetting to write it down. Whoopsie! But you know what? I'm a freakin' human, scraping by. I'll give myself grace and only self-flagellate for 3 more days.
static.klipy.com
Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld Says 'This Is No Good'
Alt: Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld Says 'This Is No Good'
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
No.
A cropped photo of a dunkin donuts drive thru menu where season is spelled “szn.”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Needed to hear this right now right after I posted a “hate tooting my own horn but” post on the faceplace.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
It's funny, I just bought the same flashlight... 💀💡
An 1899 illustration from a Russian folktale about Vasilisa the Beautiful. The young woman with a long blond braid over one shoulder is walking through a skeleton strewn woods used a skull on a stick with glowing eyes for light. [image from the public domain: https://archive.org/details/russianwondertal00whee/page/n9/mode/2up]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Early Stages She takes three scoops of pink river mud and adds them to her #kettle. She slices her finger, drips in three spots of dark red. From her eyes, she pulls three lashes. From her throat she coughs up three wads of sputum. At sunset, she lights the kindling and begins to stir. #vss365
A 16th century anatomical drawing of a human figure standing, arms outstretched, skin flayed, head tilted skyward.  [Image from NYPL: Rare Book Division, The New York Public Library. "Quinta musculorum tabula." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1545. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/54a96ba0-c6dd-012f-9645-58d385a7bc34]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Mm-hmm.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Ebb We #comb the sand for shells, smooth bits of glass to wind with copper around the necks of our smallest children. To bind the wrists of the older ones, crown the heads of those soon to be taken. On a sandbar, we find a conch caked in the eyes of a hundred barnacles. It is time to begin. #vss365
A close-up of barnacles on a rock, looking a little like a view of the moon's cratered surface.

[From NYPL public domain collections: 54a9ed10-112d-0133-08fa-58d385a7b928]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Tank ye kindly!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Man, I remember when Ringling was selling tickets to see these things when I was a kid. I was at the peak of my unicorn-crazed childhood and even I thought these goats were feckin' weird.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
In case anyone thinks I am making things up 😂 I mean I *do* make things up for a (theoretical) living....More like I make things up to live? Yes, anyway. Read my story. It's about gardening and death. Yay? #gardening #death #amwriting
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Huzzah! A new piece of mine is finally out from the good folks @theforge.bsky.social. (This one is less weird than my usual fare—some might even call it “literary.” 😱) #ampublished #writingcommunity #writing #shortfiction forgelitmag.com/2026/08/17/t...
forgelitmag.com
The Wheel of the Year - The Forge Literary Magazine
The Wheel of the Year, a short fiction by Justine Gardner
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Deliciously dark story!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
This was a fun one!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Just read this. So good. 🥩🎾 forever!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
While we're at it, let's never forget the no-bid contract (approved by Giuliani) that got firefighters saddled with bunk radios in the Towers and unable to hear evacuation orders... (Giuliani was and remains a vile racist POS who used the mayoralty and 9/11 to line his pockets and pad his ego.)
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Happy #caturday, from Wilson, a very good sport.
A black cat on a green chair stretched out. Arranged across her side are 4 colorful stuffed vegetable cat toys.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
The last line is 👩‍🍳💋
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
This reminds me of that guy I dated who went to India for a semester abroad in college and his biggest cultural takeaway was wiping his own ass with his hands because (according to him) Indians don't use toilet paper? AFAIK he is middle-aged and still hand-wiping.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
That’s a solid recommendation list!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
A beautiful person I had the great fortune to know left this earth yesterday. She was one of the most unique, intelligent, vivacious, GOOD people I have ever met. That’s all. Hold your loved ones close, pet the cat, feed the birds. Water your garden. Raise a glass.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Watershed She digs, scraping rock, trying to get as much root as possible. She has decided to #shift the bee balm from one end of the wild patch to the center. She needs to spread the red clots of their flowers, to smell their herbal sweetness and forget what and who was buried there. #vss365
A photo of a a cigarette card depicting an illustration of red flowering bee balm, or bergamot.

Credits: George Arents Collection, The New York Public Library. "Monarda didyma (Bergamot)." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1850 - 1959. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/97f24cf0-c561-012f-8b3b-58d385a7bc34
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Took the ol’ tent out of the shed to set up for the kid to use as summer funtime playspace and…frickin’ squirrels had filled the bag up with pinecones and chewed the (not cheap) tent to absolute Swiss cheese. Squirrels, man. 😡
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Me: Smell that? Kid: yeah...what is it? Me: Canada's on fire. Kid: AGAIN?!
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I love my sister forever and always but her commitment to hot pepper relish makes sharing a small tiny fridge in our upstate house me want to stab all the things. (Don’t we’ve get me started on the hot sauce.)
3 partially consumed jars of hot pepper relish: the beans are Howard’s, Bell-View hoagie spread, and Byler’s. The Byler’s has about 1 teaspoon left in it.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
“Tradition” is a funny word for “it’s fucking in the Constitution.”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Word.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
It makes a marvelous hat!
A life-size cast-iron pigeon wearing a small rubber pigeon finger puppet for a hat.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Q4: L. P. Hartley, who AFAIK isn't problematic like ol' Lovecraft and wrote some supremely unsettling psychological horror, specifically the collection The Travelling Grave. "The Killing Bottle" and "A Change of Ownership" are 2 stories that haunt me still, long after reading... #HorrorWritersChat
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Q3: Oh jeez, there are quite a few dead ones, aren't there? I've been going down an old-timey hole, so I am going to say Mary Butts, who is not a horror writer per se, but she wrote some weird shit and she died at 47, in 1937, and I think we could make some weird beautiful shit together.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Q2: Can't say I have brought any back from the unpublished grave because so many of my tales still lie behind the file drawer door...🤦‍♀️ However there is one I have about a racist cop who gets got that I have plans to take down to the bones, as it were, and rebuild anew... #HorrorWritersChat
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Hallo! It's been a minute since I've been able to dive into the #HorrorWritersChat, albeit a bit late... My name is Justine, I write weird shit, and... Q1: "Hodge" by Elinor Mordaunt (c.1921). Strange, sad, Frankenstein-esque tale of unearthing an early human from the tide pools. Poor Hodge.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
I love how-to-draw instructions, but I gotta say this one takes a bit of a leap from steps 3 to 4. 🐀
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