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Justine Gardner

@jbgrumpstone.bsky.social
1.2K followers 1.4K following 1.3K posts

🖊Word creature. 🪶Birb person. Basically just an old fart-in-a-bottle left on a dusty shelf somewhere in Brooklyn, NY. website: www.grumpstonegazette.com linktree: linktr.ee/justine.gardner

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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Spelling Bee rejects a lot of words based on whatever their high-faultin’ NYT style deems acceptable but COME ON. 🐝🤬 #spellingbee
A screenshot of the nytimes word game spelling bee showing the word “turd” that it rejects as legitimate.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
PSA: If you're in the NYC metro area that strange humming sound you started to hear around 8 a.m. was millions of parents/caregivers collectively muttering "thank fucking god." #firstdayofschool #nyc
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
🐈‍⬛ Welp guess I gotta wash that cutting board before I use it again. #caturday #blackcat #void
Black cat sitting with its butt hole directly on a cutting board on a kitchen counter because she is shady AF.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
What in actual fuck.
Close up of the name change of Lake Ontario by the craven toolbags at Google.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I have been a freelancer for a very loooonnnnnng time, so there is no excuse for missing a deadline. Like just completely and totally forgetting to write it down. Whoopsie! But you know what? I'm a freakin' human, scraping by. I'll give myself grace and only self-flagellate for 3 more days.
static.klipy.com
Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld Says 'This Is No Good'
Alt: Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld Says 'This Is No Good'
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
No.
A cropped photo of a dunkin donuts drive thru menu where season is spelled “szn.”
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
It's funny, I just bought the same flashlight... 💀💡
An 1899 illustration from a Russian folktale about Vasilisa the Beautiful. The young woman with a long blond braid over one shoulder is walking through a skeleton strewn woods used a skull on a stick with glowing eyes for light. [image from the public domain: https://archive.org/details/russianwondertal00whee/page/n9/mode/2up]
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Early Stages She takes three scoops of pink river mud and adds them to her #kettle. She slices her finger, drips in three spots of dark red. From her eyes, she pulls three lashes. From her throat she coughs up three wads of sputum. At sunset, she lights the kindling and begins to stir. #vss365
A 16th century anatomical drawing of a human figure standing, arms outstretched, skin flayed, head tilted skyward.  [Image from NYPL: Rare Book Division, The New York Public Library. "Quinta musculorum tabula." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1545. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/54a96ba0-c6dd-012f-9645-58d385a7bc34]
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Mm-hmm.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Ebb We #comb the sand for shells, smooth bits of glass to wind with copper around the necks of our smallest children. To bind the wrists of the older ones, crown the heads of those soon to be taken. On a sandbar, we find a conch caked in the eyes of a hundred barnacles. It is time to begin. #vss365
A close-up of barnacles on a rock, looking a little like a view of the moon's cratered surface.

[From NYPL public domain collections: 54a9ed10-112d-0133-08fa-58d385a7b928]
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
In case anyone thinks I am making things up 😂 I mean I *do* make things up for a (theoretical) living....More like I make things up to live? Yes, anyway. Read my story. It's about gardening and death. Yay? #gardening #death #amwriting
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Huzzah! A new piece of mine is finally out from the good folks @theforge.bsky.social. (This one is less weird than my usual fare—some might even call it “literary.” 😱) #ampublished #writingcommunity #writing #shortfiction forgelitmag.com/2026/08/17/t...
forgelitmag.com
The Wheel of the Year - The Forge Literary Magazine
The Wheel of the Year, a short fiction by Justine Gardner
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Happy #caturday, from Wilson, a very good sport.
A black cat on a green chair stretched out. Arranged across her side are 4 colorful stuffed vegetable cat toys.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
This reminds me of that guy I dated who went to India for a semester abroad in college and his biggest cultural takeaway was wiping his own ass with his hands because (according to him) Indians don't use toilet paper? AFAIK he is middle-aged and still hand-wiping.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
A beautiful person I had the great fortune to know left this earth yesterday. She was one of the most unique, intelligent, vivacious, GOOD people I have ever met. That’s all. Hold your loved ones close, pet the cat, feed the birds. Water your garden. Raise a glass.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Watershed She digs, scraping rock, trying to get as much root as possible. She has decided to #shift the bee balm from one end of the wild patch to the center. She needs to spread the red clots of their flowers, to smell their herbal sweetness and forget what and who was buried there. #vss365
A photo of a a cigarette card depicting an illustration of red flowering bee balm, or bergamot.

Credits: George Arents Collection, The New York Public Library. "Monarda didyma (Bergamot)." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1850 - 1959. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/97f24cf0-c561-012f-8b3b-58d385a7bc34
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Me: Smell that? Kid: yeah...what is it? Me: Canada's on fire. Kid: AGAIN?!
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I love my sister forever and always but her commitment to hot pepper relish makes sharing a small tiny fridge in our upstate house me want to stab all the things. (Don’t we’ve get me started on the hot sauce.)
3 partially consumed jars of hot pepper relish: the beans are Howard’s, Bell-View hoagie spread, and Byler’s. The Byler’s has about 1 teaspoon left in it.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Word.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Q4: L. P. Hartley, who AFAIK isn't problematic like ol' Lovecraft and wrote some supremely unsettling psychological horror, specifically the collection The Travelling Grave. "The Killing Bottle" and "A Change of Ownership" are 2 stories that haunt me still, long after reading... #HorrorWritersChat
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Q3: Oh jeez, there are quite a few dead ones, aren't there? I've been going down an old-timey hole, so I am going to say Mary Butts, who is not a horror writer per se, but she wrote some weird shit and she died at 47, in 1937, and I think we could make some weird beautiful shit together.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Q2: Can't say I have brought any back from the unpublished grave because so many of my tales still lie behind the file drawer door...🤦‍♀️ However there is one I have about a racist cop who gets got that I have plans to take down to the bones, as it were, and rebuild anew... #HorrorWritersChat
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Hallo! It's been a minute since I've been able to dive into the #HorrorWritersChat, albeit a bit late... My name is Justine, I write weird shit, and... Q1: "Hodge" by Elinor Mordaunt (c.1921). Strange, sad, Frankenstein-esque tale of unearthing an early human from the tide pools. Poor Hodge.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
I love how-to-draw instructions, but I gotta say this one takes a bit of a leap from steps 3 to 4. 🐀
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
#notsushi
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
All Clams Are Bivalves All Cows Are Bovines All Cops Are…
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Two new subreddits I joined today are r/bellhat and r/beebutts and I have no regrets.
A yellow parakeet/budgie scrunched up all cozy under a pink bell, which looks like a hat.Photo of the hind end of a bee digging around in some white flowers.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
I know this is not WHY we do it, but I just got a story accepted for the first time in ages and it feels...good. I can feel good about this, right? RIGHT?! And it's not even one of my horror/genre/effed-up ones...🤔 #amwriting
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Skipping to Q4, #horrorwriterschat, forgive me. I love stories that are creepy AF but aren't strictly "horror" per se. One in this vein is "Pelt" by Carol Emshwiller. Technically sci-fi, but the atmosphere/tension/bag of yuck, as well as the perspective (told from a dog's POV) all scream: eeek.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Q2: #HorrorWritersChat 🤔 Hmm. I would say when I began my parenting-a-human-child journey I did not quite anticipate how much inspiration for creepy/weird stories would come from the experience. I guess a nice bonus to having a human child!
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Hallo, lovelies of #HorrorWritersChat I'm Justine and I'm here to say...I write weird shit almost every day... Q1: I think it was Dalí who would nap in a chair holding an object and when it fell, it'd wake him up and he'd run and write down whatever vision came to him from his hypnagogic state...
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
🤭
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Anyone else thinking as Air Force One is on its way to China, “Hey maybe we’ll get that Logan Roy we’ve all been waiting for?”
static.klipy.com
Succession: Tom Eats Chicken Wings
Alt: Succession: Tom Eats Chicken Wings
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
So was wondering what the nuclear fallout would be from a certain distance for a "light" bomb in a story I'm noodling this a.m. and came across this site. And now I can't stop blowing things up. ☄️ #amwriting #rabbithole #5amwriterclub nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
nuclearsecrecy.com
NUKEMAP by Alex Wellerstein
NUKEMAP is a website for visualizing the effects of nuclear detonations.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Semester Abroad They reach the coast at dawn. Tired, hungover, they sleep in the sand like puppies, then wake to wander the palapas for food. They have #affection for one another now, after surviving 6 hours on cliff-side roads for paradise, whose name translates to “beach of the dead.” #vss365
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
Thoughts and prayers for the kitchen from which the child announces “I just made 2 quarts of lemonade” at 6:30 a.m.
media.tenor.com
a woman in a long skirt is running through a flooded area .
Alt: A gif of a woman in a long skirt is hopping through a flooded area holding up some bags
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Rising The child is up early and at his piano, learning the Nutcracker. It's April. Out her window the oak is settling into its spring #jade. The toys march across her ceiling. Sugarplums dance, the flowers will soon begin a waltz. In an hour, it'll be breakfast and backpacks. She can wait. #vss365
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Obsessive deep dives down the internet tubes will do it usually. So much original source material is now available with a few choice key words...And I am especially grateful to my two local library systems for maintaining some amazing online archives... #horrorwriterschat
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Like my working life, my written life is scattered hither and yon and I write a little bit of everything, all of it weird. Been dipping back down the poetry hole lately. #horrorwriterschat
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Hallo! I'm here...And by here, I mean my native Brooklyn, NY, where I live and write weird things my son isn't allowed to read...yet. Currently reading: More Deadly Than the Male: Masterpieces from the Queens of Horror, ed. by Graeme Davis & Gods of New York by Jonathan Mahler. #HorrorWritersChat
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
I seldom work on the romance stuff anymore in my editing life but of course I would have a real saucy one up on the monitor when the kid comes in to work on his bday invite. ("F--ks me hard against the wall" being the choice phrase he read aloud.) Gah! 🫠
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Dive When Joe surfaced he did not expect to see a child in the glare of his headlamp. How had they gotten there? Joe saw no equipment, no dry suit. They wore shorts, a tank top. Joe climbed from the #water, looked more closely at the cave, then the child, who smiled at him with sharp teeth. #vss365
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
Hallo #HorrorWritersChat Scrambling to get my shiz together for seder night BUT I'll attempt to get thru a few questions... I am a frayed nerve living in the States in Brooklyn, NY, and I write weirdness. Fave imprisonment horror: the waking up in a locked room with no memory of getting there.
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
Pruning He forgot gloves, so the roses bit him for his favors, leaving red teeth marks along his forearms. He #exalted in their sting; it felt deserved, earned. As a child, his mother had poured vinegar on his scrapes to punish clumsiness. Now in the garden, he let the earth tear him apart. #vss365
An illustration of rosebushes, with close-ups of the thorns and how to graft the buds from a 20th century tobacco card series. [Image courtesy of NYPL public domain collection:  https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/94c28b20-c565-012f-bd00-58d385a7bc34]
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Nothing like going to bed with a rejection in the inbox and then waking up to 2 more. All very nice, "it's not you, it's us," rejections, sure, but still. 🫤 Anyway...Back to revising, submitting, and existential crisis, per the usual. #amwriting #amsubmitting #5amwritersclub
media.tenor.com
a man in a plaid shirt says " you 're giving me the it 's not you it 's me routine
Alt: A clip from Seinfeld of George, a man in a plaid shirt saying, "you 're giving me"
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
After weeks of back-to-back deadlines and assorted Adult Responsibilities I am able to spend a cloudy Friday morning editing my own work, tidying the desk hole, and maybe even submitting a piece or two. I will not, under any circumstances, faff away the day on the inter— #writing #notwriting
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
What’s for dinner? #vss
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
🧑‍🍳💋
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Deterrent I #endorse the public dissection of those executed for the crime of homicide. Some argue against the vulgar aspects. Will we make bone-chip souvenirs? Sell locks of murderers’ hair? I say open gift shops and let honest men make money from the skins of the justly dead. #vss365
An image from a 16th century anatomy book showing some aspects of the human vascular system in a figure that is missing one leg. [image courtesy NYPL https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/f27ad0f0-c6f8-012f-8b82-58d385a7bc34]
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Justine Gardner @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
#HorrrorWritersChat, now we're getting down to it... I do quite enjoy the zombie/undead scenario but not sure I've ever written about one. 🤔 And now I feel a funny tingling that usually presages *gasp* inspiration and might need to go hit the writing desk for a moment...
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