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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴

@jbgrumpstone.bsky.social
1.2K followers 1.4K following 1.4K posts

🖊Word creature. 🪶Birb person. Basically just an old fart-in-a-bottle left on a dusty shelf somewhere in Brooklyn, NY. website: www.grumpstonegazette.com linktree: linktr.ee/justine.gardner

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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 23h
Day 15: Language #31DaysofGraves
A tombstone shaped like an open book with the lettering in German, essentially (non-google translation here): saying “rest in god” and “beloved mother” about the occupants.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Day 14: Brick (Better late than never, right?) #31DaysofGraves
A stone mausoleum with its door bricked over and the windows filled in with cement.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Day 13: Unusual #31DaysofGraves
A close-up on an ironwork gate in a cemetery showing a face with large eyes, giving them a puzzled bemused expression.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Day 12: Ordinary One of my favorite features at Green-Wood Cemetery are the many small sets of steps set into its hilly landscape. They are usually not ornate or remarkable but something about their “ordinariness” appeals to me. #31DaysofGraves
A photo of a set of stone stairs leading to a low grassy hill dotted with grave stones.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Day 11: Humorous #31DaysofGraves
A photo showing a detail of the cornice of an elaborate tomb: a  chubby griffin with its hands on its heads and a comical “woe is me face.”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Day 10: Missing #31DaysofGraves #missing #cemetery
A large grave-top sculpture depicting a woman in flowing robes holding a small child to her side. The child’s head is missing. (Green-Wood, Brooklyn, NY).
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Day 9: Lettering #31DaysofGraves #daylateandadollarshort
A partially obscured headstone flush to the ground saying “my dear father” in a font that looks like faux bois.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Day 8: Animal #31DaysofGraves #Greenwood #doggo #cemetery
A close-up photo showing the pediment of a grave stone, which has a carving of a curled up doggo on it.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Day 7: Home I mean someone/things live there… #31DaysofGraves
A photo of a truncated hollowed out dead tree with a tall grave monument in the background, another further in the distance. The sky is blue, the grass is green. Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Thanks, Eryn, as always for the hosting finesse. And for once I actually have something to share. A tale of mind was picked by Edge & Busby for a psychological horror antho called "Witnessed" out next March. Woot!
A mock-up of the cover art showing a bloody old-fashioned keyhole for an anthology of horror stories called "Witnessed" by Edge & Busby. Story title is "Circling."
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Hallo! I am so glad I can participate today. It feels like ages since the stars (mis)aligned for me to give this chat my full attention. Q1: My name's Justine Gardner, I live in Brooklyn, NY, I write weird shit, and...Well that's gotta be fetu in fetus. If you know you know.... #HorrorWritersChat
A black-and-white photo of a fetus in fetu about the size of a golfball showing what looks like a fully formed clutching hand stuck to a mashed ball of...stuff... (from the Wikipedia page on the subject).
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Day 6: Weather Mist on the Hill of Graves. #31DaysofGraves #graveaday #cemetery
A photo of a misty field of low tombstones, some tumbled over, leafless tree overhanging in forefront and on horizon.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Day 5: Vehicle This was a tough one for #31DaysofGraves so I give you “Beautiful Fall Day in Historic Cemetery Directly in Major Airport’s Flight Path.”
A photo showing a graveyard with looming trees and a swath of blue sky with a teeny airplane in upper left. (Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, Ny)
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Day 4: Entrance #31DaysofGraves #cemetery
A photo of a tomb much overgrown with ivy, family name Brunson over the door. From Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Day 3: Glass These are the skylights for Green-Wood’s catacombs. Every time I encounter them I think of hobbit holes as the catacombs are built into the underside of a hill. #31DaysofGraves #cemetery #greenwood
Two rows of small glass skylights spread across the top of the grassy hill in Green-Wood Cemetery.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Day 2: Urns I call this “Draped Urn with Bonus Chonky Boy.” #31DaysofGraves #graveaday #greenwood
A cemetery scene on a sunny fall day, shaping several large monuments: sitting placidly among them: a chonky woodchuck. At Green-wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
#flowers
A photo of some graves on a browned grassy hillside dotted with pale purple flowers. (Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY.)
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Day 1: welcome to my happy place. #31DaysofGraves #cemetery #graveaday
A photo of a path in Green-Wood Cemetery showing graves along the grassy left with a tree overhanging, leaves just starting to turn.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Spelling Bee rejects a lot of words based on whatever their high-faultin’ NYT style deems acceptable but COME ON. 🐝🤬 #spellingbee
A screenshot of the nytimes word game spelling bee showing the word “turd” that it rejects as legitimate.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
🐈‍⬛ Welp guess I gotta wash that cutting board before I use it again. #caturday #blackcat #void
Black cat sitting with its butt hole directly on a cutting board on a kitchen counter because she is shady AF.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
What in actual fuck.
Close up of the name change of Lake Ontario by the craven toolbags at Google.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
No.
A cropped photo of a dunkin donuts drive thru menu where season is spelled “szn.”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
It's funny, I just bought the same flashlight... 💀💡
An 1899 illustration from a Russian folktale about Vasilisa the Beautiful. The young woman with a long blond braid over one shoulder is walking through a skeleton strewn woods used a skull on a stick with glowing eyes for light. [image from the public domain: https://archive.org/details/russianwondertal00whee/page/n9/mode/2up]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Early Stages She takes three scoops of pink river mud and adds them to her #kettle. She slices her finger, drips in three spots of dark red. From her eyes, she pulls three lashes. From her throat she coughs up three wads of sputum. At sunset, she lights the kindling and begins to stir. #vss365
A 16th century anatomical drawing of a human figure standing, arms outstretched, skin flayed, head tilted skyward.  [Image from NYPL: Rare Book Division, The New York Public Library. "Quinta musculorum tabula." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1545. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/54a96ba0-c6dd-012f-9645-58d385a7bc34]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Ebb We #comb the sand for shells, smooth bits of glass to wind with copper around the necks of our smallest children. To bind the wrists of the older ones, crown the heads of those soon to be taken. On a sandbar, we find a conch caked in the eyes of a hundred barnacles. It is time to begin. #vss365
A close-up of barnacles on a rock, looking a little like a view of the moon's cratered surface.

[From NYPL public domain collections: 54a9ed10-112d-0133-08fa-58d385a7b928]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Happy #caturday, from Wilson, a very good sport.
A black cat on a green chair stretched out. Arranged across her side are 4 colorful stuffed vegetable cat toys.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Watershed She digs, scraping rock, trying to get as much root as possible. She has decided to #shift the bee balm from one end of the wild patch to the center. She needs to spread the red clots of their flowers, to smell their herbal sweetness and forget what and who was buried there. #vss365
A photo of a a cigarette card depicting an illustration of red flowering bee balm, or bergamot.

Credits: George Arents Collection, The New York Public Library. "Monarda didyma (Bergamot)." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1850 - 1959. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/97f24cf0-c561-012f-8b3b-58d385a7bc34
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I love my sister forever and always but her commitment to hot pepper relish makes sharing a small tiny fridge in our upstate house me want to stab all the things. (Don’t we’ve get me started on the hot sauce.)
3 partially consumed jars of hot pepper relish: the beans are Howard’s, Bell-View hoagie spread, and Byler’s. The Byler’s has about 1 teaspoon left in it.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
It makes a marvelous hat!
A life-size cast-iron pigeon wearing a small rubber pigeon finger puppet for a hat.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Two new subreddits I joined today are r/bellhat and r/beebutts and I have no regrets.
A yellow parakeet/budgie scrunched up all cozy under a pink bell, which looks like a hat.Photo of the hind end of a bee digging around in some white flowers.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
An American Coot (a chicken-like duck-type black bird) showing off its enormous flippery feet.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
Wilson tentatively agrees.
A black cat on top of a pile of papers looking down with a slightly quizzical/dubious look.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
Pruning He forgot gloves, so the roses bit him for his favors, leaving red teeth marks along his forearms. He #exalted in their sting; it felt deserved, earned. As a child, his mother had poured vinegar on his scrapes to punish clumsiness. Now in the garden, he let the earth tear him apart. #vss365
An illustration of rosebushes, with close-ups of the thorns and how to graft the buds from a 20th century tobacco card series. [Image courtesy of NYPL public domain collection:  https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/94c28b20-c565-012f-bd00-58d385a7bc34]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Deterrent I #endorse the public dissection of those executed for the crime of homicide. Some argue against the vulgar aspects. Will we make bone-chip souvenirs? Sell locks of murderers’ hair? I say open gift shops and let honest men make money from the skins of the justly dead. #vss365
An image from a 16th century anatomy book showing some aspects of the human vascular system in a figure that is missing one leg. [image courtesy NYPL https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/f27ad0f0-c6f8-012f-8b82-58d385a7bc34]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
Got this little goodie just poking around the catalog at the local public library. Love my @bklynlibrary.bsky.social Would not be great if @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social cut a chunk of funding from their already paltry budget. Communities need libraries!
A pic of book title “women’s weird: strange stories by women 1890-1940.” Cover shows woman in white gown holding orb of some kind.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
OH MY GOD. She is named for the one and only...
Photo of Jack Lemmon with mustache and top hat from the movie The Great Race
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
One of my favorite fun facts about LEGO is before ol' Ole Kirk Christiansen got going with the plastics he manufactured this popular wooden "peace gun" in 1949. #internationalLEGOday Also, always: #abolishice
A photo from the LEGO archive of a black wooden pistol toy.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
Uh-oh. Lemon Pig 2026 isn’t looking so hot only 10 days in….
A photo of lemon pig (a lemon with cloves for eye and toothpick legs and coin in its mouth) covered in green mold.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
It’s all been so…just… yeah… 🙇‍♀️ So here’s my demon Wilson, aka the Slayer of Ankles, cozy and snug under the weighted blanket… #caturday #voids #blackcats #🐈‍⬛
Close-up of a sleepy black cat’s face poking out from under a blanket.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
Needs Must Mrs. Chippy did a job of climbing the rigging; as good as any sailor. Once he jumped overboard after a fish and had to be retrieved with a specimen net. By the time thought of reaching land had turned to #abstraction, he was ordered killed. His flesh did not make a tender meal. #vss365
A 1915 black an white photo by Edward Hurley of the ship the Endurance at night, caught in the ice pack near Antarctica.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
And here’s to 2026…kid’s first time helping with the family lemon pig. Also the 2nd time we have done a lemon pig… #lemonpig #🍋🐷
A lemon with tooth pick legs, cloves for eyes, and a quarter in its mouth.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
It’s been quite the year Lemon Pig…quite the year…(also I suspect you may have started life as a lime)…#lemonpig #🍋🐷
A lemon with cloves for eyes, toothpick legs, and a penny in its mouth.Same lemon pig but shriveled and brown and sad
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Hey let me grab my vintage 1942 cookbook and look up some holiday cookie reci— Uh…
A recipe for roast squirrels.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 16/12/2025
the internet may be under threat of being smothered to death by AI slop but if you can still dig deep into newspaper archives I'm a happy gal. This ad in the 12/16/25 edition of the NYT had me going, "Yeah and how did that work out?"
An old print ad for the American Trust Company depicting a circle within which it says "SAFE: a man who has money in the bank is safe."
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
I mean neither author is wrong but damn if it were me I’d be salty that my book came out with the same exact title as someone else’s at the same time. Which is why if I ever publish an actual book it will be called something like “Pickle Dear” or “Crab Shatter” so as to avoid confusion. #booksky
Two books on a table at bookstore with the same title “What a Time to Be Alive.”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
Trying to work on some other (bigger) stuff in my wee writing time, so I’m not obsessing over #vss365 as as much these days. (Although #aphotic is a tasty word. 🪼) And all has been quiet here for the last hour…even the watch cat is at rest. 🐈‍⬛ #5amwritersclub #blackcat #amwriting
A close-up of a sleepy black cat curled in her bed with a bit of blue/red stained glass in background.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
The cat’s face always lets me know when someone (the child) who should be sleeping is creeping about the apartment… #5amwritersclub
Photo of a black cat with widened yellow eyes sitting in an in/out box atop a file cabinet in a dawn-dark room.
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
Evergreen, as the kiddos say…
A split photo: top is a Caucasian family thanking Jesus for their meal; bottom a farm worker saying “de nada.”
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Timing He had no #goal when he set out for the cemetery. Just a brisk walk before sunset and the gates were locked. He had no desire to spend the night curled inside a ruined mausoleum. Although, if pressed, he’d choose one with an eastern view to watch the sun rise over the hill of graves. #vss365
A photograph of a hill dotted with graves. In the foreground is a short tombstone with a red-leafed vine stretching across it. The grass is littered with autumn leaves. [Photo my own, taken at Green-Wood Cemtetery, Brookly, NY.]
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🧟‍♀️ JustEEEEEK! Gardner 🦴 @jbgrumpstone.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Insides, Out Dissection day in #science class: the cloying stink of formaldehyde and the squelch of scalpel biting into vitreous humor. Some students are conscientious about slicing and pinning the required parts; others find the hard bean of the lens and reserve it for future use. #vss365
A detail from of an illustration showing a human skeleton leaning contemplatively at a table, its hand resting on the skull of another human. [Image by Thomas Geminus c. 1545, courtesy of NYPL public domain collection.]
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