iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 18/10/2026

Far be it from me to ignore an alarm like that

A half-asleep white pit bull looking deep into your soul from his throw pillow

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 05/10/2026

Once again, I would follow Hayley Williams into hell

yelyahwilliams • 2h
Taking the bait from an inquiring Fox News reporter, a DHS spokesman opined to Donald Trump's preferred network that Hayley Williams of Paramore was being mean to ICE agents.
"America is grateful all the time for our federal law enforcement officers who keep us safe," the spokesperson said.
"We suggest Ms. Williams to thank them [sic] for their service, not belittle their sacrifice."
AND MAY I SUGGEST ALL NAZI BITCHES
SUCK ON MY FAT DICK

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 03/10/2026

Got all excited to fire up another Witcher 3 playthrough on the remaster but then I remembered there were no worlds left to conquer. Wept instead.

Steam achievement Card Collector Acquire all gwent cards available in the base version of the game. Unlocke on Jan 8, 2023 7:02 PM 4.8% of players have this achievement

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 01/09/2026

Y’all @theonion.com even does subscription renewal nags right

THIS IS YOUR LAST PRINT ISSUE. THESE TREES ARE LAUGHING AT YOU
SUPPORT THE LAST NEWSPAPER THAT
Fight back against the know-it-all forests with your print subscription to The Onion.
RENEW THE MEMBERSHIP.
GET THE PAPER.

All this text is overlaid on a black and white picture of since very smug-looking trees. When I renew I hope the paper is made from their children and that they had to watch.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 22/08/2026

Watching Outer Banks, every time the main cast makes a decision:

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 06/08/2026

Pest control guy bringing a threatening aura to today’s treatment

Just the usual. I'm on a call so l won't be able to answer the door
Read 9:43 AM
Ok perfect
I am on your property

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 03/08/2026

This is actually the hardest championship to win because you don't have anybody cheering you on

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 30/07/2026

Somebody come get Gen X and put us all in a home before we do something else even dumber than this

A case of O.M. Scott & Sons' H2HOSE drinking water, a canned water that claims to bring back the taste of hose water. The box art is some Dick & Jane-looking mfers drinking from a hose. Both of them are winking, which would imply some blindness-causing impurities in the hose water. Probably lead, too. The Dick character (on the left) has a speech bubble over his head that just says AHHHHHH! and it is unclear if he is being refreshed or if he drank sun-heated water from the hose without letting it run for a minute first, a common rookie mistake. Dick looks like he repeated kindergarten so it could be either. His hair has the kind of hard part that can only be achieved with lawncare equipment. Jane looks like a perfectly nice lady who is going to have some abhorrent politics when you next see her at your ten-year reunion, which won't really surprise you after you think about it for a minute. She is letting the hose run first, at least.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 13/07/2026

Defense only lined up 10 men so I walked it into the endzone

Order placed, thanks!
Shipping to New American Pathways Advancement, Gift Registry Address
Tomorrow, 10AM-3PM Estimated delivery
Mead Composition Notebook x8

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 28/06/2026

Anytime I see Bernie Ecclestone

Walt Jr from Breaking Bad saying "You asshole, why are you still alive? Why won't you just die already?"

020 2

Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 10/06/2026

This dork-ass loser just keeps racking up Ls 150 years later

US House - District 4 - GOP
William Timmons (R) 35,165
David Atchley (R) 10,533
Robert E. Lee (R) 7,789

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 12/05/2026

I tried explaining that it's still twelve minutes to dinner time and he just keeps staring at me exactly like this

A stumpy white dog giving a look of utter injustice as he stands over an empty food bowl

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 06/05/2026

An absolute legend in the making

FREE-THOUGHTS @free-thoughts.bsky.social 2m What the fuck does that have to do with Atheism? What are you? Eight years old?? Grow the fuck up; than GET ON TOPIC.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 05/05/2026

Blake Lively sure does know how to show up for a Met Gala

Blake Lively on the Met Gala red carpet (which is neither red not carpet) wearing a very long and flowy Versace dress that's every pastel color at once. It looks ethereal, ngl

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 29/04/2026

Even the bees are getting gentrified and white around here. Rent’s fixing to go way up

A white bee fly, Bombylius incanus if you’re nasty, hanging out on a brick patio in the sun. It’s fuzzy and fat like a bumblebee, but it’s black and white and its wings are much longer and it’s about half the size of a bumblebee. About the size of a kidney bean, I guess.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 28/04/2026

“What’s your secret, how did you get your roses to bloom like that?” The secret is neglect. Don’t even look at them. They get watered when the grass does. Deadheading? Food? Not in this house.

A rose bush from my front yard covered in pink and red flowers. It’s a camellia rose so the blossoms aren’t as structured as a traditional rose. The leaves are small with jagged edges and are lighter green in color. This one is in partial shade.

Another rose bush from my front yard. It is covered in pink flowers with a yellow one trying to sneak in near the top. It’s a camellia rose so the blossoms aren’t as structured as a traditional rose. The leaves are small with jagged edges and are lighter green in color. This one is in full sun.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 02/04/2026

No single tweet ever brought me more joy than

N.O.R.E.
@noreaga
She in racial chat rooms showing feet!!!
6:15 PM - 5/24/20

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 17/03/2026

From the day after I adopted him

A small white puppy with blue eyes and a cow-spot nose chewing on a piece of pine straw and swatting one of his paws at the camera

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 13/03/2026

Thank you Costco I love you too

Two pallets of Jones Soda’s version of Sunset Sarsaparilla from Fallout New Vegas. This monument is a love letter to me, personally

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 13/03/2026

My redbud tree is redbudding its heart out this week

Redbud tree branches covered in many bright magenta blooms against a blue sky. I think it’s a forest pansy redbud for you gardening prevents

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 12/03/2026

I tried to be cool and land it on $2K but some rascal pushed it over

Thank you for showing up for Deep South abortion access!

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 25/02/2026

The look of slowly dawning horror on this mfers face when he realized I was about to leave the house without him

One white dog’s head, zero brain cells, eyes beginning to bug out, staring a hole right through the viewer

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 16/01/2026

Red Bull out here posting smut with the RB22 unveiling

Red Bull Racing's 2026 F1 car. I have no idea how to describe this in alt text but it is glossy (for a change) and looks a lot like the Toro Rosso cars used to, except with a lot more Ford blue. It's pointing to the left, and I might or might not be talking about the car. It's honestly gorgeous.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 03/01/2026

Greatest closed captioning I’ve ever seen

A shot of an empty cemetery in late fall with many dead leaves scattered on the ground and a slight fog lingering in the background. The caption reads (JUGGALO CHANTING IN LATIN)

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 25/12/2025

The wood in the firepit might be a touch dry

A towering inferno of flame blasting out of an in-ground firepit. The fire is currently about seven feet high and entirely too hot to sit beside. I may smell burning hair and it's probably mine.

020 2

Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 19/12/2025

I remember when this was a couch and not a dog nest

A jobless white dog, surrounded by toys, sleeping on several blankets and a pillow with another blanket draped behind him, all on a brown leather couch. His giant noggin is half-buried in one of those blankets and he’s lying on his side at a fifteen-degree angle.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 09/12/2025

Got the whole room looking like if Studio 54 was cozy

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 23/11/2025

Love that we traveled several hours and spent thousands of dollars so these two could sleep on a different couch

Two worthless dogs, both primarily white in color, asleep on a sheet covering a couch. One is four times the size of the other; both are unempliyed and cannot possibly be this tired. And yet.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 21/11/2025

A bunch of middle-schoolers just burst into my office cheering as soon as this popped up. I hate it here

Microsoft's Authenticator MFA pop-up. It reads: Approve sign in request Open your Authenticator app and approve the request. Enter the number if prompted. 67

020 2

Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 16/11/2025

I'm only about 50% sure this is for a manufacturing plant and not a statewide polycule recruitment ad but if you have an open mind and a strong back it's probably worth checking out either way

A billboard that reads
CAROLINA POLY NOW HIRING ALL Positions Available * Contact Us Today CarolinaPoly.com

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 12/11/2025

Be careful everybody, my dog got too hot in front of the fireplace and melted

A white pitbull mix lying (mostly) on a dog bed in front of a lot fireplace. His butt is aimed at the fire and his head has slid off the opposite side of the bed and is beginning to puddle on the floor. He is glaring at the camera, apparently upset that I have captured his soul

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 12/11/2025

Fuck it, I'm counting this as seeing the northern lights in central SC

A night mode picture of the northern sky from my back door. The trees are very orange but are also blocking a lot of the sky. Just barely visible in the top center is a slightly lighter colored wish that is as much northern lights as it's going to get this far south

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 21/10/2025

Anyway: fuck, marry, kill with the Morgan boys (impossible level)

The three scions of the Morgan & Morgan ambulance chaser empire in a screencap from one of the firm's six million commercials. They have names but these are unimportant as the three are thoroughly indistinguishable, like three stunt doubles from different seasons of The Bachelor, or background actors from a Tubi movie set in a second-rate fraternity's house. They are all wearing suits in such a way that suggests both that they were born in a Brooks Brothers fitting room and that this is their first day on earth in their human skins. Each of them wears their hair combed straight back like Gordon Gekko is their style icon. In an attempt to fool the viewer into thinking they are measurably different, each is wearing a slightly different-colored suit. The illusion does not work.

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 08/10/2025

Buying concert tickets in 2025 is an excellent experience, so much better than just going to the actual venue and buying tickets from a person. Being in a line like this for a 35-year-old band is Good, Actually.

YOU ARE NOW IN THE QUEUE 30997 PEOPLE AHEAD OF YOU

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 01/10/2025

It is important for the culture of every social media site to ratio the CEO loudly and often

Jay @jay.bsky.team 3h
Replied to lucas, ho chi minh thot
WAFFLES
[Replies] 564 [Reskeets] 342 [Likes] 151

020 2

Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 30/09/2025

I'm not running through all the songs but it looks like it's for real based off Ready For It

Lyrics to Taylor Swift's "...Ready For It?" that are all in lowercase, except for a capital T in "baby, leT the games begin" and later "baby, let the games begin"

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Jason @jasongarner.swifties.social · 24/09/2025

Started my day with this baby grasshopper being an absolute ho on my office window

The underside of a small grasshopper, sitting on a window and photographed from inside. Its hind legs are spread wide. This thing is doing the splits and if this was a person you could see all their secrets.

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