jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 10sgood news any maga swag you wear for halloween is inherently slutty 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 4mtechnician: Sorry, sir. The turbo lift is being repaired. You’ll have to use the regular lift. worf: *scowls more* 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 11mI like to randomly tip people the elderly and people sitting on stools are the easiest 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 15moh so THAT’S what counts for a lazy slob now? permission: granted 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 16mif you’re not already overweight, your goal in those weight loss commercials can be the fat one 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 3h"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to shoot soccer moms in minivans, in cold blood, in broad daylight, in the face, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." 000
Reposted by jackson henryRon Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 3hThe most corrupt administration in the history of the US by far. You could add up all instances of corruption by every other admin in US history and it will not equal the amount of corruption perpetrated by this one in less than 2 years. 1422143811
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 4hdudes probably back there criming extra fast in case it’s harder to crime after midterms 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 4hnot many people know that "super intelligence" has a dipshit in it 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 4hwe used to use the internet to fight over anime and dresses growing up is tough 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5hthe least plausible part about DS9 is that there would be baseball fans in space 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 13hTNG: Q gonna be like, mean to y'all DS9: OUR CAPTAIN IS HAUNTED 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 15hwe need matt damon in an exoskeleton to start kicking ass about now 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 19h*uses pop culture touchstones like a zelda dungeon walkthrough to navigate adult life, thus defeating the purpose entirely* 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 19hwhere the hell is "This Is Fifty" I have NO idea how fifty is going to be 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 21hshout out to people who like-react spelling corrections. your the dad yelling “You can do it!” as we crash our bike into the neighbor’s fence. 100
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 21ha measurable portion of his day is spent cleaning up his own dumps, yes 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 22h“NaTiOnAl SeCuRiTy” *takes anybody who asks on a spastic tour* 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 22hthere simply aren’t pictures in dictionaries what the fuck book are you talking about 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 22hhyperlinks? no thank you. that’s the location B of the internet. I’m not getting internet stabbed again today. 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026"I got stabbed with pronouns and died. Now I'm running for republican congress." 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026dude really does open himself to having to rename them to “cross-Atlantic” flights lest it become the mile high gay club 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026bodies of humans: *no drake* bodies of water: *yes drake holding a gun* 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026"Hello I can't ever know how to spell 'thare' but I have a list of lake, strait, and gulf names that I need you to memorize and respect." 000
Reposted by jackson henryAaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 29/09/2026Jack Smith: "History teaches that the rule of law is rarely destroyed all at once. It's often weakened by attacks on the institutions and the public servants sworn to uphold it. Since January 2025, we have witnessed precisely such an effort." 691277799492
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026lars ulrich's real skill lies in hastening the proliferation of pirated downloading through what should rightfully be called the ulrich effect, as opposed to the streisand effect 110
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I was pointing out that lars ulrich couldn't play drums decades ago I'm the lars ulrich of calling out lars ulrich: unskilled yet ahead of my time 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026they should probably pixelate parts of this because it feels erotic in nature 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 28/09/2026ok one thing that AI feels like it IS here for is my Friends companion pornography "With Benefits" 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I can't be spooked while people are being tacular around me 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 28/09/2026THE PRESIDENT DEMANDS THAT THE FOLLOWING *checks notes* INANIMATE THINGS BE RESPECTED UNDER THEIR NEW IDENTITIES 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026midwest conservatives are so absolutely capitalism pilled they’ll say things like “capitalism is the only system that works” sweetheart capitalism has converted you into a simp for indentured slavery but FrEeDoM 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026maybe soon celebrities will be looked down on as idiots who recorded their dumb aging personas instead of sexbeaming their netfaces the whole time 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Crisp Biscuit: A Tale Of Friendship And Heartbreak 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"Well, I like killing. But I hate how much I have to move my arms to do it." inventor of the crossbow: Hello Peanut Butter my name is Jelly. 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026streaming service: We're changing our prices me: Oh good you're giving us a break in this shitty economy streaming service: me: streaming service: *crashes* 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I like how in stripes it's just good clean shooting mortars and bullets at each other and only lightly singeing tuchuses gun violence in media was so adorable when it was a baby 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026me: *accidentally knocks down spiderweb* spider: *sighs and starts getting out of chair* 010
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026chomp at the bit is a fun one because you LITERALLY have no authority and yet here you are, ass agape 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/202699% of people who say “drinking the koolaid” are ironically applying it, in their own understanding, to themselves like when someone confidently corrects “it’s CHOMP at the bit” …sweetheart 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026“I FOUND A BUG IN A CAVE THAT LASERS YOUR DICK OFF WHEN YOU PEE ON IT. ALL ANIMALS MUST BE ELIMINATED. AND MY DICK IS HUGE AND NOT GONE.” 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026treating the democrat party as homogenous is like if you had a party that was just white and then you lumped every other color together wait… it IS that 000
jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026FORGET ABOUT BLOOD FLOW WE NEED A BIGGER EJACULATE BUDGET 100
