iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 21m

you: *accidentally pets cat’s butthole while feeling for head* cat: *doesn’t flinch at all*

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 2h

“Excessive masturbator” ok tbf for a time I was researching a machine that would masturbate FOR ME and where were you when I needed things blown out of proportion

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 2h

gop solutions to modern problems super thanos coded

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 2h

has mark zuckerberg built a single thing other than a private porn site that one time

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 2h

this will be characterized as incitement by the rapists in charge who take offense to self defense

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 2h

if you read it in musk’s voice it authenticates

051

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 3h

I installed death panels on my roof and now I sell death back to the grid

050

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 4h

spice is literally the spice of life

010

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 4h

he likes rape a lot and has moved onto raping entire nations

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5h

post apocalyptic conservatism would go American Horror Story level on grindr a gay the purge

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5h

a third of this country is made out of racist styrofoam wtf

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5h

*holding hand over big red “NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION” switch while looking back at audience for approval*

0160

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5h

watching the democrat reception of mamdani explains so gd much about how America as a nation became so remarkably cucked I honestly don’t think dem leaders can climax without tax exemptions

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5h

meanwhile the president is explicitly instructing his subjects to break voting laws and disavow civility

010

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 5h

cool how they have to keep adjusting down the president’s insanity well after it’s of any public value

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

I want to meet the man in charge of the boob-ledge physics engine and shake his titties

0231

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

can we please zoom out to reveal that we’re all just an AI prompt in a black mirror episode already

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

hard to fist pump wanton violence w/o spilling your pumpkin spice macchiato

090

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

when you say out loud what conservatives are doing the media go “wow what awful language have you no decency?”

001

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

executions will be televised until morale improves

092

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

democrats didn’t do enough to clean up trump’s messy diarrhea from term 1 (true) so what we need is a fresh round of diarrhea

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

are the streets white-… I mean straight-… I mean safe yet

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

but no school lunches or universal healthcare nazis, dudes

040

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 6h

I’m having an AI doom scroll for me so I can get back to my passion which is finding ways to ignore my family

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 7h

“Hey man cool video game I want to buy it but quick question do you accept video games as payment.”

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

which came first: the idea to competitively ejaculate onto biscuits, or the presence of ejaculate laden baked goods the answer is “OH MY GOD WHY, SON?”

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

if you have no soul and can be replaced by an internet chuckie doll then you too can live on forever* *there’s a kash patel sim we CANNOT flush so just look out

050

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

“omg qanon was right all along” dawg qanon elected trump dafuq olive garden ass branch you extending you crazy person

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

*orphan with his nose pressed against the petrol shop window dreaming of the day he can afford medicine so his bones are strong enough to drive*

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

staying awake. drinking. pooping. some things you practice your whole life and just keep getting worse at

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

*an entire george foreman line of appliances that reduce fat and don’t connect to the internet*

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

A… sorry… SI, is that you?

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 8h

this technology is called “automation” and “the internet” and in time it will enable you to do amazing things such as getting a micro loan to pay for your coffee

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 10h

if my neighbor makes more money than me but he's black *nodding*

100

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 11h

DUDE HAS NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON AND HIS HANDS ARE ON NO CONTROLS we really need to just fucking start ignoring this guy and doing the right thing IN SPITE OF REPUBLICANS

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

we're one marble away from him threatening to nuke LA

070

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

the guy who sprays visitors to the white house with cat piss is wearing an adult diaper with poop in it while saying this

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

"What do you call this, a microwave? Wow, lame. I have this thing I invented that's the hood of my limo in the hot sun. Now everyone can have access to this amazing new service that I'm providing in lieu of your dumb kitchen microwaves. Did you know that I invented all words."

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

1996: Here. Woods porn. 2026: *revenge porn sex doll of your crush arrives on your doorstep for a 30 day free trial*

010

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

< I built THE BORG > Oh yeah? Well I funded a startup that PRODUCES BORGS. I win! *universe consumed by cyborg incels*

010

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

communism and capitalism both lead to The Borg the difference whether there are ads or not

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

end stage communism: The Borg end stage capitalism: The Borg while shitting into their own mouths

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

see because he had this idea of how he could secure people financially in society brand new thinking never been done before

100

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

“Don’t leave the house. Don’t look at other men. You’d be dead if it weren’t for me. You’re welcome.”

020

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

my plan of lining this underground shaft with cobbles is going well

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

tbf “Supertits” is her pet name

000

jackson henry @jasonemry.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

we’re replacing “Lack of Nutrition” with “Diet+” you’re welcome now I want more money

000