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jamieallerton.bsky.social

@jamieallerton.bsky.social
20 followers 27 following 36 posts
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
Seems fine until his biological penguin father shows up and wants to fight me and I’m covered in penguin blood explaining to the child that I had to do it and we’re burying his penguin dad together and his little flippers keep dropping the shovel. Best not.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 28/11/2025
Getting onto a train at Lichfield Trent Valley is deeply unattractive
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
In 20 years time Josh Gad being in Wicked will be a Mandela effect, but £50 on it.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
Been in the office 2 mins already smashed out a “must be nice for umbrella manufacturers” and “well it’s good for the flowers”, got a “you wouldn’t think it was August” locked and loaded. Office small talk let’s fucking gooooo
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 27/06/2025
Glad to see he’s taking Pride month seriously
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
Sad to see my spirit animal is actually real and is being hassled by the fuzz
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Trying to be straight when Michael B Jordan is playing twins in Sinners
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
It took an extra 6 hours but the life like anus in my Elon Musk voodoo doll was absolutely worth it
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
Men who are convinced they are straight, watch Val Kilmer in Willow and then come back to me with your semi tucked into your waistband
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
Hangover is hitting heavy today:
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
Obviously found a character called Jamie from the Northwest troublingly relatable as I too have recently pissed the bed and also read at a Year 9 level.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
Handing the bag back at a 4am afters
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
Everyone thinks they’re John Wick until there’s a wasp on the bus
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
Does anyone else give their Uber driver a little goodbye kiss on the neck or has this country absolutely gone to the dogs?
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
Hi London, Jamie here respectfully insisting that you go fuck yourself.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
Finally hit my dad with a thumbs up reaction to an important text. Not so nice when the tables are turned and no I haven’t moved your insulin
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
His greatest challenge yet, undoing the strap without looking
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
I really hope Elmo is Drake’s favourite muppet
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 03/02/2025
If you love 80s based strikes and emotionally unavailable fathers listen to this week’s Best Movie 2 Pid where we talk all things Northern cinema: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...
podcasts.apple.com
Josh Hallam: Best Movie to Represent The North
Podcast Episode · The Best Movie 2 Pod · 03/02/2025 · 1h 2m
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
Using Gary Neville’s passion to help write my wedding vows, replacing all references to “Huel” with “my beloved”
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
What’s the best movie quote to shout during sex? For me it’s all 3 minutes 32 seconds of Quint’s Indianapolis speech from Jaws.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
I see your dad’s worked up the courage to check his outgoing texts from last night
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
Well I’ll always remember that magical moment behind the Betfred in Bootle Strand even if you don’t give a shit Cher.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
Call me a cynic but the first red flag that this Nosferatu fella was a bit dodge would be when he sends a driverless carriage to pick me up. I personally would not let him knob my wife soz for being woke
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 02/01/2025
If you like seeing people having a fever dream in bed then baby Nosferatu is the movie for you
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 02/01/2025
God bless all of those WFH today clinging on til 12 to get that nap in. You can do it.
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
Having admired his work for years, very sad to find out Jeremy Strong is a hat guy in real life
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
I’m sorry that song was called what?
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
Fuck this fucking knot I hope it dies infront of its knot children and nobody goes to its knot funeral
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
Human Centipede back one is a human
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
No it’s actually Mr Jamie Allerton
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
Every day the case for our annihilation as a species balloons in evidence
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Reposted by @jamieallerton.bsky.social
Alex Kitson @alexkitson.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
I think more sports should have caddies not just golf. Imagine being a premier league footballer and being allowed to have your best mate there with you just carrying your lucozade and being like ‘I reckon you could have a shot here bud’
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Reposted by @jamieallerton.bsky.social
Andy Watts @andywatts.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
love how dyson hoover's USP is it's the best hoover on the market, and henry the hoover's USP is it has a face, and they hold equal market share
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
Looks to be some cinema etiquette questions being raised after Wicked & Moana 2 viewers have been encouraged to sing along. For clarity, if you make any noise after you see the age rating certificate you should be scalped in front of your family and forced to vape farts
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
I know she’s not for everyone’s tastes but I really admire the choices Ariana Grande made for @letterboxd top 4 at the Wicked premiere
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jamieallerton.bsky.social @jamieallerton.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
You only get to do your first post once, make it important
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