iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Trying to cancel my account with The Modern Milkman. The only way to cancel is via their chatbot. I tried that last week, got no confirmation of the cancellation request, and milk arrived this morning. Trying again. I don't want a fucking chat, I want to cancel the service.

Chat screenshot:

Me: Please can I cancel my account.
Them: I'm sorry to hear you're thinking of leaving us, Janet. Could you tell me a little about what's prompted it? That helps our team with the next step.
Me: No, please just let me cancel.
Them: I've passed your conversation and account details to a member of our team.

Below this is the message "We're connecting you with a member of our team, who'll be in touch shortly." The textbox for chat is now greyed out with the message "Chat handed to our team". No further dialog possible!

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

The bit of the chorus that survived waking up is stuck in my head despite the 10yo playing "Shake it off" on the ukulele, so here it is. (No, no video, I just wrote it down.) What does it mean? Is crab currency only like itself? Or is it more "it's, like, crab currency"? What even is crab currency?

Hastily pencilled sheet music for the tune of a song which came to me in a dream. If you can't see the pic, trust me, it's not worth me trying to give you abc notation or something here. If you can see the pic but can't read music, just trust me that if I claimed this was a Bowie song his estate would sue me.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I love spiders but after suffering so badly with spider-bites over the summer I might have to accept that they don't love me (or maybe they love me too much?!) & not allow these to hatch into another billion spiderlings in my kitchen. :-(

Bad photo of 4 little white balls of spider-eggs in the corner of the window on my back door.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Meube she's born with it

A bottle of "meubeline furniture restorer". Do you see what I did there. Or am I just losing my meubles.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Jesus christ, just set a timer on your watch or phone or one of those little mechanical kitchen timer things or a fucking egg-timer or FUCKING COUNT TO 120 IN YOUR HEAD why do you need to give your life to Amazon for something so fucking trivial, stop making yourself even more stupid on purpose

Screenshot of some dude whining about updates to Alexa that unsurprisingly do something stupid & unhelpful, because Alexa is stupid & is not designed to help you.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Elder demanded this book every night for about 6 months. It's every bit as bad as it looks.

A Disney Princess book: "Sleeping Beauty: The Secret Spell". It is pink and decorated with the sort of sparkles that now signify AI, though it predates AI by enough years that I assume it is oldschool artisanal slop.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

It's OK I wasn't going anywhere

A black cat on a lap, turning her head to look meaningfully at the camera. Not sure what she's meaning tbh but she's probably judging me.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

"Hope is the thing with feathers --" ... oh, FLUFFY.

A goblin-like black cat gives the camera a shifty side-eye as the remains of a bird disappears into her horrible maw.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Umbrella with NO HANDS:

Blurry photo from ancient digital camera of me at Glasto 2007 wearing an UMBRELLA HAT, the best headgear ever invented

010

j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

🌈 a whole rainbow of stars ✴️✳️

7 jars of paper stars, one for each of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

H has spent most of today making tiny paper stars & filling jam jars with them. She's made over 500 stars. Nobody (including her) is very sure why except "they're cute".

Close-up photo of 4 jam jars filled with 3D paper stars; each jar has a different colour of stars. They look like little sweets.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

GOOD MORNING IT'S CAT TIME

A black cat, very close to the camera (because she is sitting on my chest)

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Elder got to be the beast! I have never seen anybody so pleased to dress as a mangy pigeon (sorry, I mean a buzzard). Flapping about & shedding feathers all over the hall like he was born to it.

A person wearing a ragged coat of pheasant feathers and a pointy-beaked bird mask. Their arms are raised like big flappy wings.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

... but not the location(s) of any of the walk-in clinics. The options were "Yes/No/Unsure". I clicked "Unsure" in the hope that I'd get more info: instead it said great, thanks for your answer, phone this number if you need to change it. No way to get back to the question.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

HOW can you not have ANY more info than this, DPD? How? You must have a route plan, it's not all just ~vibes~ is it, you must be able to say "you are delivery number n of x". I don't need to know what the driver's name is, I need to know if I can nip to the shops or go out to pick my daughter up.

DPD tracking info saying "Your order will be delivered today by Liam, your DPD driver, between 07:00 and 22:00"

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I want one of those mad velomobile things but I want to make it look like Lowly Worm's apple car. No I do not care about aerodynamics, let me have my dreams. (Richard Scarry's Busytown is now in effect!)

A sleek red velomobile which doesn't really look very much like an apple & wouldn't be aerodynamic if it did & I couldn't afford one anyway but it wouldn't be a proper midlife crisis if it was sensible now would it

A smol cartoon worm driving a car shaped like an big shiny red apple which doesn't look much like a velomobile but anyway

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Oh, I see, NOW you come inside, 4 hours too late.

A black cat stands on a bench next to a table. I'd like to think she looks slightly guilty but honestly she don't care

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

For H's party she watched The Dark Crystal with friends, so obviously I did a cake of the Great Conjunction. Not 100% happy with how the crystal came out (sugarpaste lump took too long to harden; tricky to cut facets or draw lines on it) but they ate it anyway (best thing about cake art!). :-)

A cake with arcane symbols (which actually say Happy Birthday) and a giant pink crystal hovering* above them

* actually fixed to the cake obviously

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Just found this. A prize to any morris dancer who can work out which dance H was trying to write down. :-)

Piece of paper with writing in pencil:

* hankies
* up turn down
* chickens flip
* hay
* chickens flip
* hay
* half Jip

...etc

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

ain't no cake fitting in here & if I had time to let it set I'd probably be a whole different person with one of those big fridges that makes ice and everything in a big kitchen with an island in the middle

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Meanwhile the neighbour's cat really REALLY wants to come in, & she is a relentless optimist with a brain the size of a bean, so she just sits & mews at the cat flap, hoping that this time we'll let her in.

Cat stares in through grubby cat flap. Cat cannot come in. Why door not work? Why cat still outside in cold?

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

A glitch in the Matrix? I reckon the cat-rendering software in this garden is full of bugs (probably spiders).

Two black cats on a wall. Which is my cat? Who can say? (Fortunately the cat-flap's chip-reader can say.)

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

when you gaze into the void, the void looks somehow disappointed in you

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Elder was for some reason not dissuaded from taking the piss out of my unappealing-looking ready meal by learning that it is in fact a "meatless chaap".

A bowl of white rice and beige slop. I mean, it isn't AI, I literally just took it out of the microwave. It's actually a very tasty plant-based instant curry, honest. But it does look like something the cat sicked up.

The packaging: "Malai chaap / heat & eat / meatless soya chaap / A Unique Variation Cooked into Creamy and Mildly Spiced Flavourful Masala Gravy Made up of Cashewnuts with Meatless Soya Chaap".

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Done the Dun Run a few times with @slamdunc.eurosky.social on the Pino (including one time nearly 10 years ago when technically there were 3 of us on it, see photo...). 😁 Kids AND beer would be a heavy load! Perhaps the kids could ride the Cabbies, and we could drink the beer? #divisionOfLabour

Two ridiculous people, one ridiculous tandem. (Third person emerged 2mo later & has also turned out to be ridiculous.)

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Mine lost its little Gazelle button & just has a sad little grey nubbin 😢 but I took it out today for the first time in ages (lighter to handle than the big beast bakfiets while my arm is recovering) & it's so lovely 😍

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

It is too loud, & I's too old #StGilesFair

Fairground ride called "Ignition" (I think? the name is written in lightning bolts & is nearly impossible to read), featuring pictures of scantily clad women DJing, and the slogan "IF IT'S TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD"

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

IT'S SMOOTH IT'S FAST YOU CANNOT WALK PAST [they walk past]

Hebborn's Waltzer, festooned with lights; "HEBBORN'S OF OXFORD" is spelled out in flashing multi-coloured lights, and above that in more lights is "IT'S SMOOTH IT'S FAST YOU CANNOT WALK PAST" (only part of this slogan is visible in the photo). Nobody is walking past, or stopping to ride (two fairground workers are sitting on the steps of the ride in waterproof coats).

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I guess it's officially autumn now. Got woken by a little 'mew' outside my door. Now my lap is occupied and my knees are shredded. 🖤

A beautiful black cat occupies the whole of a lap. Her head is turned partially round so she can side-eye the camera.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Does this help? (tbf I wouldn't have recognised it!)

Panels made of hama beads. They look like parts of a robot I guess?

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Just finished "His Martian Apprentice" by Chaz Brenchley: Sherlock Holmes ON MARS! Probably not one for the Holmes purists, but it was an excellent romp. Plots! Schemes! Murder! AIRSHIPS! C. B. Fry becoming a King! Balkan Sworn Virgins on bicycles! MORE AIRSHIPS!

The cover of Chaz Brenchley's "His Martian Apprentice: Tales of Sherlock Holmes in the Red Raj (Book One)". The cover depicts Holmes and a livery-clad hotel pageboy looking out over a foggy blazing red landscape, in which a church is burning & an airship is flying overhead. Did I mention there were airships? AIRSHIPS.

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Never noticed this cute little mural at Oxford station before!

A small bit of wall painted with a colourful mural of flowers, bees, a train, and the 'dreaming spires' (at a funny angle).

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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

We saw @nickcope.bsky.social and he was great. I've heard most of the songs MANY TIMES but they're every bit as lovely every time. I think it might actually be impossible to be unhappy while watching Nick Cope. ☺️❤️☕🐙🦕🦔🤖🌍🦎