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Jacob Sampson

@jacobsampson.bsky.social
375 followers 412 following 892 posts

Sports takes and bad jokes. Vols/Packers/Racing

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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Breaking News: The Bears still suck
static.klipy.com
Raji's Green Bay Packers Victory Dance
ALT: Raji's Green Bay Packers Victory Dance
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Quarters: 1 Mentions of the 2024 Arkansas game: 94
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
🚨 FRAUD ALERT IN GAINESVILLE 🚨
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Bama's basketball arena has to be one of the more ugly buildings in sports.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Mike Ditka dying 48 hours before a Green Bay/Chicago game so the Bears win by even more is some elite haterism.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
As a Karns alumni, I propose we name the school and every room and stadium on KHS property after Desean Bishop
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
We need like a 30 year ban on the NFC East in prime broadcast spots. I've spent too much time on either side of the country being subjected to this division.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I promise you, we don’t need to hear Kirk this bad.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Every Clemson win is just going to come from their opponent forgetting they had to also play offense.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Remove Matt LaFleur from Green Bay with a catapult.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Making sure Neyland isn’t full at kickoff of a massive game and negating the hostile crowd noise. Another thing successfully fucked up because nobody in his inner circle has ever liked him.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Guess not
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Oregon? You ok buddy?
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I choose to believe the Rams thought Australia was right next to Hawaii and nobody knew how fucked they were until that plane was way, way, way over the Pacific.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
“Who the fuck is Sturgill Simpson?”
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
FSU's band is going EAT tonight with no PA.
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Reposted by Jacob Sampson
Major @majorarschloch.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
You've heard of Pac12 After Dark? Well, here's ACC In The Dark
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Jimbo Fisher ever being successful at anything is astounding because he has been advanced levels of stupid during this power outage.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I was a Jr fan. Larson cultists won't get a boo hoo out of me over a year and a half dry spell.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Alright, back to Pac(B1G)-12(ACC) after dark.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Imagine having to rig an ending because you were going to lose to the MAC twice in one week.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I’ve seen three minutes of a CBS broadcast without Gary Danielson and it’s crazy how much better this is.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
George is going to transfer somewhere on our schedule next year and give us fits. I can feel it.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
ESPN: “You can now stream your band performances at halftime!” Also ESPN: Forgets how to broadcast anything as soon as a band touches the field.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Fire SEC refs into the sun. We’re gonna be at this for six hours if they can’t shut the hell up or figure out of something is or isn’t.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I’ve seen enough. Faizon Brandon will be better than Peyton.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Just heard a Dutch Bros employee shout that Caleb Williams was better than Jordan Love and I can no longer allow my hard earned money to go towards pro-Bears propaganda.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Between Gameday and Sirius, I'm now 2-0 this month when it comes to people interviewing Lane Kiffin like they're afraid of him.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time online. Then I open Threads and realize I could never be “Dolly not dying for us all to see is ableism” levels of bad.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
If Rutgers actually ends up getting their ass beat, I might get back on Twitter and loudly mock Pat Forde and Dan Wolken for lecturing Tennessee fans after we ran Schiano off.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I just turned on Rutgers/UMass and I'm only semi joking when I ask if the score graphic is backwards.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
The college football power couple of Jordan Rodgers and the dumbest thing you’ll hear all day.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Dave Doeren has to be a master of blackmail.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Thank you, ESPN. I needed a graphic to tell me when Jordan Rodgers is yapping. Very cool.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
If I click that topic, I’m 100% going to end up giving someone detailed instructions on how to open a front door and go the fuck outside.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Tuned into a high school game to watch some Tennessee commits. I think the TSSAA ref believes this night is all about him.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Am….am I a Tulane fan now?
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I’m sure the @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social will be thrilled to hear that my son wants to start a podcast called “Shutdown Fullcast 2.0” and that also I am the father of the decade for letting an 8 year old listen to the Fullcast.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
This is the second cheese related championship I've seen for Tennessee. We're a dairy school now, y'all.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
🚨🚨99 Club Alert!🚨🚨
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
When I said I wanted monsoon, I did not request the thunder so big it makes me shit my pants.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Democrats don’t pick the worst possible path challenge: Impossible
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Oh no! Not the cranky old fart! Whatever will we do without the cranky old fart?!
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
All I hear is that we don’t have to play Belgium again.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
I have not had many chances to sit down and watch DCI this year. I see you, Blue Stars...
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Can the Greg Sankey shutting the hell up and going away talk also be real?
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Some of you were going to be ok with England winning a World Cup when they can't even handle 20 minutes of music.
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Reposted by Jacob Sampson
Pregame Empire @pregameempire.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Frank Beamer celebrating 0-0 meme wearing a hat with the Argentina flag on it with the scoreboard showing the Argentina and Spain flags next to 0-0
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Biebs, you’re killing the vibe.
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Jacob Sampson @jacobsampson.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Fire Elmo
ALT: Fire Elmo
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