iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Teachers always told me to think before I speak but that didn't help because I think lots of stupid things too

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

My calling card is a puddle of vomit

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Reposted by Sean Paul Sartre

(°○°) @rarecryptid.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

[Me] it's done for me, doc Im a goner. [Doctor] its my lucky day [Me] Jesus is calling me home [Doctor] I can't wait to sign your death certificate. See I got one set up already. Gonna frame it up. [Me] bury me under a willow tree. [Doctor] id feed you to my dog if it wouldn't make him sick

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

The purpose of the news should be to inform you of all the lost and missing cats in your area. And nothing else.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I need to cut my nails regularly otherwise they curl around into my brain and I die :(

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I propose new currency is bogeys. solves two issues: 1 inequality 2 people eating their bogeys

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

I'm not spiralling, I'm twirling beautifully

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Police call missing persons 'mispers' and I think that is honestly so beautiful

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Brush your teeth to remain complete :)

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I used Google lens on burglaries to quickly identify what items are worth stealing :)

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Most gang wars start because there aren't enough cool hand gestures to go around

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Say what you want about ai but it has really help normalised polydactylism

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

No mum it's not self harm I'm just really into yoruba culture

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Complimented my colleagues tan and asked where he'd been and he said it was actually jaundice fml

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

This meadow, it's almost... TOO verdant

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

I've bombed more than 9000 posts in my career. I've lost almost 300 followers. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning post and bombed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

The pain of friendly fire is nothing compared to the warmth of having friends :)

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

I'll have a deconstructed sandwich for a deconstructed man please 🙂

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Nothing I've ever said or done would hold up in court

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

I am really tempted to join the crips but they make it so difficult to cancel your membership

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Trying to comfort my friend after he did a hit and run on a family by telling him they were probably a bunch of arseholes anyway. I'm such a good person.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

I hate having to lick the dried piss from between my toes. There must be an easier way!

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

It takes all sorts, me personally I would have crawled a half mile through a river of shit just to get in to Shawshank, that place looks awesome

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Having tried them all, I have to say that self-imposed is the best kind of exile

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Hanging around the tattoo removal place picking all the old tattoos out of the bins. Covered in the names of people I don't know but very frugal.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

Personal trainer: so what are your goals? What do you want to work towards? Me: I want to give good hugs. Personal trainer: cool, cool. Absolutely. We can do that.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

'When two become one' by the spice girls is about murder

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

I didn't know that if the parents were best friends then the baby would be inbred :(

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

I never did nothing to no one except for all them people. Them I did things to.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

I've been working on combatting my perfectionism by riding a bicycle with no tyres

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

Got a used copy of a Jean Genet book, took it home and realised it absolutely stank of piss so I had to chuck it. In hindsight it sort of feels like the intended way his work should be read though.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

You are my rock. I want to throw you in water to see what sound it makes.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 05/02/2026

Wow you would think labor day was when everyone did all their work and then just kind of took the rest of the year off. Bizarre.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

I've been through the desert on a horse with no legs, I rode him like a skateboard

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

To catch a thief you have to steal some stuff

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

In my raps the word ho is short for honey:)

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

I'm such a hero I would jump on a grenade even if there was noone else around.

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

Does it count as a threesome if I'm thinking about someone else during

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

Do we think hedgehogs suck their own dicks when they curl up in that little ball

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Reposted by Sean Paul Sartre

Tyler, from the Internet (Haunted) @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 25/06/2025

Ice cream truck funerals apparently produce the most horror movie ass sound you can hear in real life

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

Telling old people that I'm their son and they have dementia so they put me in their will

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Sean Paul Sartre @imonlyhuman.bsky.social · 29/10/2025

The good news is that there's no bad news. The bad news however, is that there's no good news.

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