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Idiot Kitchen

@idiotkitchen.bsky.social

426 followers 233 following 5.9K posts

I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid

Posts Replies Media

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

???

Macho Man Randy Savage book by Jon Finkel

000

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

gang

Burger King collectable gold plated pokemon cards from 1999
2 poliwhirls and a togepi

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

now watching

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

ah yes, the traditional stages of package delivery

shipping notification with arrows between the shipping steps: Not Found > Offline > Pick Up > Delivered
We're currently in the "offline" step which somehow goes to "pick up"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

yeah, like imagine this but cooler

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I want a canvas jacket with this type of sht on it

neolithic hands on wall painting

cave paintings of bison and oxen

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Twitter post by @vampiric_shirin:
"in america if you stop at a gas station in the middle of nowhere you can buy powerful artifacts"
Picture of a glass case containing a sheathed dagger with dragon quillons and exaggerated, dragon-themed pommel, grip, and sheath.
The first digit of the price tag is obscured, but this probably costs $99.99

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Tumblr exchange:
"Writing tip: if you push buttons on a keyboard, letters will appear on the screen. and with that power you can do anything"
Reply: "i think it was cruel to give lightning mcqueen a foot fetish, as he lives in a world where all feet are wheels. he has nothing."
OP replies, "sorry i wasnt talking to you i think"

Picture of a lovely orange sunset with palm trees and foliage darkening the foreground. "One day you will jerk off in a Dave & Buster's bathroom for the last time"

A screenshot of a tik-tok of some guy with a double-chin pointing two fingers at his temple. "never say near us genshin players"
1. Genshin is bad 🤓
2. Ur waifu isn't real
The worst one:
3. The age of consent is 18"
At the top of the screenshot there's an iOS screentime notification that "5 minutes remaining for social, Games, and 9 more today"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Reddit post, presumably from r/kitchencels, showing a bunch of halved and peeled kiwis on a cutting board. "My screentime hit 21 hours almost every day this week. 7 kiwis for dinner."

What if we kissed at the annual Toyotathon sales event with 0% APR financing for qualified customers? 🙈😏

Tumblr post: "just saw an x-ray of a horse skull. can't say i'm too happy with it"
The picture of the x-ray shows the horse's head with a fucking massive jaw and gigantic, long teeth compared to the capacity of it's cranium. Looks like a cartoon villain or something.

Bottle of Jameson, first pour: "I promise I won't get too political"
The rest of the bottle: screenshot from Akira (maybe?) with the subtitle "Fine. We'll just blow up the government building!"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Tweet by @bogspectre showing a picture of a piece of lumber that has been bitten and chewed. "New growth Fir lumber is so soft I can literally gnaw through it, take bites from it. And they build houses from this stuff, disgraceful"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Truly an arena for the best and brightest minds

Screenshot from the thread where somebody pointed out OP's confidence in their wrong assumption. OP replies that "That's all I've seen in media" and then explains that they are only reading books. The replier shifts to saying that if it's written, it's technically typed.
It's like an argument between children

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

"New growth fir lumber is so soft I can literally gnaw through it, take bites from it. And they build houses from this stuff, disgraceful"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Doug Heffernan, The King of Queens, shrugging playfully. The caption says, "The Lich after filling it's lair with Carbon Monoxide instead of creating magical wards"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

only ever use Scamazon when I must purchase weird items that other stores don't carry so I guess it checks out

Idiot Kitchen's Amazon "about you" page, with comments like "consistently purchases materials over time" and "repairs and maintains household items"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

picture of that green fish from spongebob who is looking over his shoulder

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

old newspaper article featuring Andre the Giant, who apparently said,
"I don't like to speak badly of people. I have grown up thinking and being told that if you cannot say something nice about someone, you should not say anything at all. But I must break that rule in this case because I hate Hulk Hogan very much. He is a big ugly goon and I want to squash his face."

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Doritos Nirnroot flavor

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Clickhole quote on wage inequality from Tony Hawk:
"The wage gap is not a skate gap. You cannot do a McTwist over it. It is not gnarly; it is not sick; it is nothing like the gaps in my videos."

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Lord Foog the 2st
picture of a greyhound with a tiny crown on his tiny narrow head

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Regular fountain drink despenser: One hole per beverage ✅
Coca-cola freestyle machine: Unholy drink cloaca ❌

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Three white Monster Energy Dranks on the barbecue grill, a hand moving them with tongs. "Dinner's starting to look real good"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Facebook marketplace listing for a pair of Cowboy boots with a square cut out of the ankle of the right boot. The listing is $10 and it's titled "Ankle Monitor Friendly Boots"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Docta Peppuh machine at da restaurant and there's a sign that says "it's over"
Caption is like "Tf you mean it's over 😭"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Lineart/paint illustration of a cat ragdolling down the stairs: "PLUNK PLUNK PLUNK"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Back on Dec 13, 2023, Hideo Kojima predicted a "laughing cow incident" to happen in Sept 2026
The tweet shows advertising from Laughing Cow where the mascot on some packaging will not be laughing and instead as a straight face until the company says "when she's ready"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Tumblr exchange:
"It'd be neat if someone invented waterproof breakfast food so I could eat in the shower
Dude. It's called fruit.
What kinda punk ass pet portoise breakfast do you think I'm eating you son of a shit"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

maybe leave a copy of this in their office "accidentally"

STRUNK and WHITE da Elements of Style 🤌

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Slobodan Praljak doin his wacky thang

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Online product listing of three plush toys, all equally priced: Flareon, Jolteon, and Vaporeon. Vaporeon alone is sold out.
Below this screenshot is a frame from some manga (maybe AoT?) of a man looking beyond disgusted

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Choose your best friend: featuring such characters as
Tiny, in the top corner, "The Devil"
Man in a weird fur headdress, "Cat wizard"
Bagpipe Bear
Ye Hogge
Cross-section of a pebis

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Picture of a grave stone with flowers, an Amazon package placed reverently before it. "amazon order came too late 💔"

"I always keep that thang on me"
Picture of a guy who has a bullfrog in the chest pocket of his T-shirt. The frog is holding a lit cigarette.

Picture of a monkey underwater with bubbles coming from its mouth. Its eyes are closed.
"me at the bottom of the pool because I'm too shy to ask for help:"

Picture of a dude wearing a black puffer jacket and the whole front half of the top of his head has been shaved. He has no eyebrows. His hairline starts at the top of his damn head.
"Him: Remember when RoboCop took his helmet off?
Barber: Say no more"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Pic of a guy shaming his little kitten for having pissed the couch. Some dude named JoeLongBalls replied "there's more piss than animal there, I think he's been framed"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"bro wtf they forgot to circumcise my fork"
Image of a work without individual tines, it's just a rectangular sheet of metal on a handle like a spoon

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

guys, Google got autism

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

my 9 games

My 9 games: OSRS, Harvest Moon 64, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, Animal Crossing, Sword of Mana, Nethack, Tales of Symphonia, Fistful of Frags (a western themed Counterstrike spinoff), and Kirby Super Star

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

green heron style clamping pliers

Pittsburgh (Harbor Freight) branded locking pliers, but they are like 16 inches long and look really goofy

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

yeah how much for your DeNiro in a powdered wig

A Toby mug that depicts some English gentleman, clean shaven and with prominent black eyebrows and a large nose, wearing a green jacket with cravat.

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Eating lettuce in the shower with the lights off to feel what a gorilla feels in the rainforest

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Me: can we stop and get food?
Mom: we have food at home
Food at home: a frying pan of red sauce and a single unpeeled banana. Someone is sprinkling Cheerios over it

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

screenshot from FO3 or maybe FO:NV of some dude who has clipped through the terrain so it's just a head. The dislogue box has two options for the player to choose:
I like em big.
I like em chunky.

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

vat of some kinda thick white substance (cream cheese, maybe?) but the sign attached to the bin says "cheam creems"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

two panel conic strip of Jesus (probably) addressing a crowd
"Born on a mountain raised in a cave Truckin and fuckin is all I crave
Matthew 5:27-28
The people were ASTONISHED at his doctrine"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Sign for a business called Cherokee Forearms "keeping tradition alive"
beneath it is one of those movable letter signs you seat strip malls
"Do elves creep you out
we have the solution!"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

dude on the subway wearing a hat and sunglasses
he's eating a head of iceberg lettuce and reading a book titled "female ejaculation"

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"can you find [weevil]?"
Then there's a picture of a weevil very obviously perched on a big green acorn

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

dog holding out the boof. Quieres?

Idiot Kitchen @idiotkitchen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Mexican girl in Kill La Kill cosplay and Naruto headband on cowboy hat grilling various meats with a cold brewski in her hand and a smile on her lips