Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Was going to the gym regularly. Doing well. Got hurt. Instead of panicking, Inrested, and then restructured future workouts to make sure I can minimize the amount I get hurt in the future. Progress, not perfection. 050
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Wife asked for a cheese quesadilla. She's just lucky it's not 10 minutes until we close. I'm in my own kitchen. This joke was funnier in my head 2 minutes ago. 100
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Real sad. Made adobo chili tacos. Now I'm sad and P I C A N T E. 030
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 05/05/2026"Ian are you crying at work because you're listening to the new Noah Kahan album while closing?" Even worse, I'm listening to the soundtrack from Disney's Tarzan. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 22/03/2026media.tenor.coma man with a beard and a stethoscope around his neckALT: a man with a beard and a stethoscope around his neck 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 01/01/2026I love the last scene of the Stranger Things finale where Dustin shouts "hey, Vecna!! Are you a Mind Goblin?" "A mind goblin?" "Mind Goblin deez NUTS? 020
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 31/12/2025Stranger Things season 5 is a false hydra situation. "Where are the parents?" What parents? "What happened to Ted?" Who's Ted? 100
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 28/12/2025If anyone needs me for the foreseeable future, I will be resting, farting, and plotting. 000
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 13/11/2025Started overthinking. Got mad. Couldn't sleep. Gonna learn about flightless birds until I've settled down enough to make sleep happen. 210
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 21/10/2025Dig through the ditches And burn through witches And CAM in the back of my SCATTEBO 011
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 05/10/2025Life Updates: Getting an epidural and steroid shot in my back on Tuesday. Almost met Topher Grace yesterday. I'm a Bills fan now. A jalapeño defeated me a couple weeks ago. Still think swords are cool. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 13/09/2025Wrestlemania Wrestlepalooza Wrestle Bowl Wrestling 500 25th Annual Putnam County Wrestling Event Wrestle Wrestle Brawl Brawl It's Wrestling, Charlie Brown The Rose Brawl 110
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 19/08/2025"Ian your wife is out of town, what kinda crazy stuff are you getting up to?" "Well I had ice cream right after housing 1/3 of a party sized Stoffer's lasagna for dinner, I watched Shin Godzilla on the big screen, and now I'm gonna watch videos of Bill Hader doing various impressions for too long." 110
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 15/07/2025They're doing a cover of The Middle by Jimmy Eat World at the country show and it's the most punk I've felt in a long time. 020
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 04/07/2025"Get that broke ass arm outta here." - My wife, out of context 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 25/06/2025Couldn't sleep last night. Just locked myself out of the house. Today's going great. 120
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 17/06/2025Some wrestling moves look like they'd be good stretches. Four figure leg lock my spine back into place. 130
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 08/06/2025Kim has replaced me as her phone screensaver with Stephanie Vaquer and honestly, I understand. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Upon rereading the skeet I just skote, I might, in fact, be crashing out. More updates later. 030
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Crashing out? No. I'm Crashing In. Kool-Aid Man Style. I'm wrecking drywall, fam. Oh yeah. 030
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 20/04/2025If Chad Gable, sorry, El Grande Americano has no haters it means I've shed this mortal coil. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 20/04/2025I am confident my wife will never leave me for another man. I am also confident my wife would absolutely leave me for Jade Cargill. 030
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 08/04/2025"Roll that beautiful bean footage." Game Changer is so back. 020
Reposted by IanSiobhan Thompson @vornietom.bsky.social · 07/04/2025I lived it: I made my bed to cozy and now I can’t get up 1038710
Reposted by IanUncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 07/04/2025This is what the news feels like right now. 1213
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 08/04/2025Tariff this. Tariff that. I'm about to tar-into the all new double bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's. Only 24.99 while supplies last. 020
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 08/04/2025Sure. Dominik Mysterio is decent in the ring. But that motherfucker only eats chicken tenders and it infuriates me. Have a fuckin' cheeseburger you dweeb. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 25/03/2025"I got rent to pay." Cool Whimsical Closing down bars at 2am "I gotta pay my mortgage." Adult Terrifying Downing a bottle of bourbon in your own garage with your shirt off 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 14/03/2025Neutral Milk Hotel implies the existence of Acidic Milk Hotel and Basic Milk Hotel. 130
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 05/03/2025My birthday is in 2.5 months and all I want is a Fernet Coin. If not that, a trebuchet. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 27/02/2025"Sure I'll cover your shift" said the man, visibly not well. 020
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 27/02/2025"I need a hobby or special interest outside of my job," said the man with at least 10 tabs of Buhurt Armor open on Google chrome. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 21/02/2025I have started going back to the gym. My goal is to look like I'm physically strong enough to chuck anyone out of an open doorway with little effort. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 11/02/2025Set a goal to write a cocktail recipe a day in 2025. So far we're 42 for 42. Are any of them good? Who knows. We'll find out next year. 030
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 07/01/2025Paul Heyman sounds like The Hamburglar fucked Danny DeVito. 011
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 26/12/2024All I got for Christmas was validation and the love of my close friends and loved ones. 10/10. This is one for the books. 020
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 18/12/2024Christmas is in one week. Santa Claus travels all over the world in a span of 24 hours. Santa covers at most 57,268,900 square miles, which is roughly 2,386,204 square miles covered per hour. 110
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 27/11/2024If you had told me a year ago that I'd be on a Zoom meeting with (representatives of) the British Broadcasting Corporation, I'd have laughed in your face. Yet here we are. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 24/11/2024One of these days I'll settle down for a long winter's nap. Until then it'll be telling teenagers to sweep up popcorn. This is truly what our ancestors dreamed for us. 110
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 26/08/2023Oh shit I remembered bluesky today. I love the moss growing on the walls. 010
Ian @ianawesome.bsky.social · 08/07/2023When you're being mean to me online, this is who you're being mean to. 110
