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martha quicklime

@humblebumbler.bsky.social
786 followers 442 following 2.6K posts

Martha she/her Medium good posts at bad post price points

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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 21h
day 4 in here. assistant manager went for help 18 hours ago. supplies running thin. coworker repeating “birthday cake yogurt” into dead phone with increasing anger and desperation. im mixing mustard gas in a mop bucket
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Reposted by martha quicklime
oblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Let's do business.
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
r/smallbusinessprobs user familyvalue81 first time poster here third gen owner. sales floor of my business is slowly sinking into the earth with each passing day. anybody know if this means god is smiling on me and my familys enterprise thank you campingboss (mod) replied: i am going to kill you!
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Reposted by martha quicklime
Shady Inference 🌫️ @blot.city · 12/09/2024
Let women be oafs 🗣️
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
this and a blount…
Bronco with AI Bigfoot with a gun tire cover lol
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
letting my hogs range free on my neighbors acreage. fuck that guy!!!
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
dropped my phone in the toilet at work today but nothing bad happened
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
sorry boss i was participating in traffic
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
doings a-transpiring near me
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
(shaky footage of me tearfully reading off a piece of paper in a nondescript location. just off camera there is a gun pointed at my head) the ghouls in my employ have formed a boo-nion
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
trying my hand at grave robbin
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
crimes of the ass
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
trader joes is for people who religiously do the nyt crossword monday tuesday only
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i was laying in bed with my girlfriend and she softly said “mmm. chips” im gonna make her my wife
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
shopping at ike of
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
standing in the road, hazards on and engine running, hands on my hips, staring dumbfounded at a peacock that I have just smoked with my car
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
sweened of todd
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Next in line for the suicide booth, queueing up little talks by of monsters and men
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
making my girlfriend watch me play the halo campaigns but just on heroic difficulty. im not a monster
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
reading a post and saying “come on man” out loud
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I like it
9 games: runescape classic minecraft Skyrim disco elysium KOTOR RDR halo 3 mirrors edge wow
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the customers sense of nostalgia must be reinforced and indulged at any cost. no it sure aint the way it used to be. heck, that’s just the way they make em anymore. im not like these other 30 year olds sir or madam i remember the 1970s
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
cool beasts. of the plain?
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
pulling up to the drive thru window with such speed that i spook the attendant and she reflexively draws her big iron and fans the hammer into my vehicle and completely airs me out
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
playing black myth: wukong. im the meanest monkey in china
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
ursula le wint
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
(at dark mcdonalds drive thru) Speaker: oough. have you come to release me from my waking dream me: nah sorry. can I get a repast of the forlorn S: nine souls today. round up for the penitent order of dolora? me: not today S: ok pull forward (a boulder appears and squishes me like a bug)
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
eating a peese of chiece
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
sounds cool. can i bring my temporarily solo poly masc theymab nesting partner? he’s got anxiety. wait shit i mean they
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
thinking about getting a vanity plate that says BIG AMT
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
it seems the pussy has got me acting rambunctious
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
(offering you a big tub of vaseline) whats goop for the goose is goop for the gander my friend
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
“‘girlfriend is better’ - the talking heads” -martha big time
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
good morning hustlers it is Get A Bag Monday. Labor Day more like Lazy Day. The people need to SHOP SHOP SHOP
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
ho there. I am steward of this vacant mall retail space. ye’ll not huff paint in these hallowed aisles while my brittle ribs still draw breath (combat music)
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
one important thing to remember about managing your goblin minions is Trust, But Verify
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
im turt fudgeon
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
da puissant chilla
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
can’t stop saying “ive killed me wife. I reckon ive gone and slain me missus then” etc in ringo voice
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
mmm. sosig
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
i love on the simpsons when otto says “they call em fingers but i never seen em fing”
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
ursula le grink
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
solitary office coffee to still my mind before Get Da Bag Saturday
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
just spotted the “4DOLPH” don’t tread on me plates
4DOLPH plate
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
(stuffy, quivering British accent) milves
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
disgusting pig captured
Cat chewing on his shit caught in the act
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Reposted by martha quicklime
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
(I barge into the fortune teller’s tent and he gets startled and drops his lunch on the carpeted floor) Oh shit I’m so sorry Fortune teller: that’s a bad omen man Me: come on I’ll buy you a new sandwich Fortune teller: (contemplative pause) fate demands two sandwiches
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
coworker just asked me “what’s the odyssey movie about” and i had to be like. it’s pretty much about the odyssey
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Reposted by martha quicklime
stack of scares @stackofbears.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Launching a new line of high-end gummies. Key flavors are buckwheat, camphor, rosewood, shale, egg noodle. Box reads "You are like a wave that forgot about the sea"
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martha quicklime @humblebumbler.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
good morning everyone. let’s all do our best today with an ice cold asahi super dry. asahi super dry: seek what is unique
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