Errai @errai.bsky.social · 21h(Sprinting at full speed behind my date’s Uber) did you not like my dance 0150
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Whenever I see dog walkers with a dozen leashes I imagine that they do stuff like stacking the dogs like gundams when no one is looking 0141
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Terrified about getting back to work tomorrow after a 2 week break because it means I’ll have to work 0211
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Parents the instant they board a plane: my beefy baby is fated to find his Voice on this flight. We must remain fully impassive as he writhes and screams his way to language 0785
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 14/09/2026What power ups should everyone have in their thirties Power ups near me Is 35 year old too late to unlock double jump 23811
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 13/09/2026If I was an enemy guard in a game I’d be the kind that says bullshit like “food is yummy when you press A to eat it from your inventory” when interrogated 0191
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 13/09/2026If they sent me to the criterion closet I’d start crying and begging for my life 1222
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Scribbling loading screen tips on the bathroom stalls at the airport 080
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 12/09/2026I get why carousel horses always have that strained, tormented expression. They’re afraid their whole life is just going in circles. They’re afraid of turning 35 and not even owning a grill 2191
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Neither a white lie nor actual deception but a third type of lie for when you’re too lazy to try to explain things 0223
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 11/09/2026(Minotaur touring labyrinths) nice finishes... the layout is kind of odd Real estate agent: (beaming) it’s that mid-century charm Minotaur gf: how’s the parking situation 0130
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Ok dude I get it, you’re swole. You can stop flexing now My sleep paralysis demon: (demurely) I wasn’t flexing 0160
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 07/09/2026You’re logging in on a new device. Let’s make sure it’s you. Select all the photos with Father's cold, always-disapproving gaze 0251
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 06/09/2026TSA agent: wristwatches, in the bin, lockets, faded photographs, in the bin, the memory of her smile in the summertime, in the bin 1478
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Evil Marie Kondo that breaks into your house, makes a mess, yells at you etc 2150
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 04/09/2026(IGN reviewing purgatory) despite the six billion hours it took to beat and cleanse myself of sin, it was worth every moment 090
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 03/09/2026[pouring a beer into my pc] there. I have upgraded you to the latest model Computer: Error pour more beer 322341
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 03/09/2026(Fashion model pouting while putting on a sweater for the photoshoot) I’m not even cold 0122
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Customer service: To confirm your identity I texted a code, can you read it back Me: Sure (I look for my phone but only find a tattered note reading “clone”) wait… these memories are not my own… Customer service: I understand how frustrating that can be and I’m here to help 0150
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 01/09/2026The most embarrassing part about being in a relationship is them knowing you’re gonna die someday 1160
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 31/08/2026They installed a sensor in the bathroom at my workplace that turns off the lights when it doesn’t detect any happy thoughts 1140
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 28/08/2026“We’ll see who has the last laugh” ok but I don’t want to laugh last. I wanna laugh with you 0140
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 27/08/2026For a few moments my Lyft was moving at the exact same speed and trajectory as a large fly buzzing alongside the car and for the first time in my life I felt truly in sync with another living thing 0180
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 26/08/2026People who confidently misuse big words are ontologically ignorant 0242
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Me: oddly enough, I was thinking the same thing My paranormal buddy: that’s not odd enough 0110
Errai @errai.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Red-bellied woodpecker slurping bugs out of a tree with its long tongue 0121
