Sign in

Davy Hulme

@hulme.bsky.social
183 followers 12 following 1.7K posts

I’m posting jokes/pics I’ve received/sent on MMS/sms/email from the last 15 years. Enjoy 😊

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Davy Hulme
Michael Spicer @michaelspicer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Most TV is just this now.
16568611882
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A new restaurant has opened that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine. It’s called "Wok Like an Egyptian".
011
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
During an existential crisis my therapist leaned in and whispered one word. 'Parachute.' It really brought me back down to earth.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I spent £100 on a belt that doesn't fit! Huge waist.
010
Reposted by Davy Hulme
Dan Douglas @dandouglas.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
more gems from my late mam’s house: guessing this is mid-90s, i’m obsessed with both the spread and the composition
A buffet laid out on a table features sandwiches, cheese, jelly, chickpea stew and a Dougal from the The Magic Roundabout cake
11981
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The dentist and the manicurist had a rough marriage. They fought tooth and nail...
010
Reposted by Davy Hulme
Th[Ominous Whoosh] @mrmoth.eurosky.social · 27/09/2026
You've heard of pervert glasses, now get ready for the nonce necklace!
253
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Did you know that you can actually hear the blood running through your veins? But you must listen varicosely.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
www.theguardian.com/travel/ng-in...
theguardian.com
15 great small hotels, inns and restaurants with rooms for an autumn stay in the UK
From a cosy Cornish inn with open fires to a boutique hotel in Northumberland, these new and revamped boltholes tick all the right boxes
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Why did the scarecrow win so many awards? - it was outstanding in the field!
010
Reposted by Davy Hulme
Massimo (mirror) @rainmaker1973-m.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Not everyone knows that Bob Fosse in the 1974 Little Prince movie had a massive influence on Michael Jackson. Original post
1829779
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
A man fainted onto the baggage carousel at the airport… Thankfully he slowly came round.
020
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
www.theguardian.com/thefilter/20...
theguardian.com
We put ten cheap phones to the test – here are our favourite Samsungs, iPhones and Pixels for £500 or less
A new smartphone needn’t cost a fortune. From Samsung, Google, Apple and more, these are the lower-cost models we rate most – and how to buy a refurbished handset
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
At one time, I was very poor. I couldn't pay my electricity bill. That was the darkest period of my life.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I'm tired, so I'm going to Romania... ...to book a rest.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
BREAKING NEWS! A lorry carrying snooker equipment has shed it's load on the M1. Police are reporting cues in both directions.
020
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
From Tass @justthetalk
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet? They looked at the reviews… Only 1 star.
020
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
www.which.co.uk/news/article...
which.co.uk
From savings beginner to pro: 7 steps to make your money work harder - Which?
As UK Savings Week kicks off, we show savers new and experienced how to build and grow a nest egg
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I cooked a Sunday roast for Lionel Richie yesterday. He asked once, twice, three times for gravy.
020
Reposted by Davy Hulme
✨Ms.RetroSparklyKnickers✨ @msretroknickers.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Reposting pics from @autisticsociety.bsky.social’s Insta. Over £3.6 million was raised from the sale of Johnny Marr’s guitars & it’s to be shared between their charity & Guide Dogs UK 🎸 💕✨✨
Pic of text which reads 

nationalautisticsociety Thank you @Johnnymarrgram for your incredible generosity and support.
His guitar auction at Christie's yesterday exceeded all expectations, raising more than £3.6 million in total. Proceeds from 31 of the auction's 111 lots will be shared between our charity and @guidedogsuk.
These lots include 10 guitars, 1980s concert posters and sales awards.
A huge thank you to Johnny and everyone who placed a bid. Together, you're helping us create a society that works for autistic people.
Image credit: © Christie's Images LtdPicture of Johnny Marr, sat holding his famous Rickenbaker, surrounded by his other guitars up for auction. There are windows in the background and a red patterned rug or carpet is on the floor. Johnny is dressed in black
2318
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Why did the cannibal get kicked out of school? He was caught buttering up his teacher.
011
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
www.which.co.uk/reviews/sola...
which.co.uk
Plug-in solar panels: everything you need to know - Which?
Plug-in solar panels are now available to buy and install. But are they right for you, will you make money from them and where do you buy them? Here's our expert advice.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I invested in a business franchise to harvest sunflowers using vacuums. I was assured this business always sucks seeds.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
9to5mac.com/2026/09/18/a...
9to5mac.com
AirPods Pro 3 keep getting better, here’s what’s new in iOS 27 - 9to5Mac
AirPods benefit from a handful of new features in iOS 27, with AirPods Pro 3 getting the most upgrades. Here’s everything new.
000
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
My attempts to combine nitrous oxide with Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.
010
Reposted by Davy Hulme
Minor league b3tan bloke @rotatingwobblyhat.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I’m on a Sisyphus diet. Every morning you think you’ve lost a stone but it’s just rolled down the bottom.
0143
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The police are investigating an abandoned car with an incomplete set of golf clubs inside. They're still looking for the driver.
190
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
9to5mac.com/2026/09/16/i...
9to5mac.com
iOS 27 adds scam-prevention feature to iPhone, here’s how to enable it - 9to5Mac
iOS 27 adds ‘Impersonation Risk Detection’ to help protect against scams, but it’s off by default. Here’s how to enable it.
020
Reposted by Davy Hulme
ChrisP @wordsmithgetxo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
A race starter’s favourite food is sago pudding. #LunchPun
0141
Reposted by Davy Hulme
Andy Rimmer @andy200.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Two AI avatars walk into a bar. 'We'll have two AI pints barman!' 'Hey aye... you'll be the death of me!' #joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun
061
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I've received the news that I'm a kleptomaniac. I took it rather easily.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6. His statue is 17ft 4. That’s Horatio of about 3:1
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
What do you call a typo on a gravestone? A grave mistake.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Starmer didn't want to play Macbeth but Burnham would.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop? “Now is the winter of our discount tents.”
011
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Addicted to seaweed? Time to sea kelp.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My doctor was supposed to make a house call yesterday but he never turned up. I tried calling the surgery but of course no reply. This morning I was feeling a bit better, I opened the door to get some air, and that’s when I saw the apple on the front step…
120
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
There was once an Roman emperor who never aged past 19. His name was Constant Teen.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
#PrivateEye
020
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
9to5mac.com/2026/09/08/s...
9to5mac.com
Slow Horses season 6 hailed as ‘the best one yet’ in first reviews - 9to5Mac
Slow Horses returns next week to Apple TV, and early reviews say season 6 is “the best one yet.” Here’s a sampling of the first reviews.
000
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
David Beckham's son turned up for a charity football match. He asked, "What number shirt should I wear, Dad?" David said, "Wear 4 out there Romeo!"
88310
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
www.theguardian.com/technology/2...
theguardian.com
Pixel 11 review: Google sets the bar for standard flagship phones
Longer battery life, faster chip, actually useful AI tools and better cameras keep quality Android ahead of competition
000
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I don’t want to get too addicted to skiing… It’s a slippery slope.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
How do seashells stay clean? They wash up on the beach.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
The world hokey cokey champion died last week. It took them two days to get him in the coffin.
050
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Breaking News: Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds…
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Who’s the greatest bodybuilder ever? Frankenstein.
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Do you know why the life guards couldn’t save the old hippie? He was too far out man!
010
Davy Hulme @hulme.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I’m reading a book about School Truancy by Marcus Absent.
010