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Helen Rosner

@hels.bsky.social
73K followers 553 following 4.7K posts

“Zizek if he was a woman and loved sandwiches” New Yorker staff writer, dept. of mastication It’s always Free Palestine 🍉

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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
One of the weirdest things about being a slightly public-facing person is sometimes you’ll be doing a little light internet stalking of a very niche comedian you’ve recently been into and you’ll reach the ok is he married or what phase and then you’ll learn actually his wife follows you on instagram
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I’m crine
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I pitched this headline as a joke and then everyone was like YES and I was like wait, what www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...
newyorker.com
Ugly Baby Is Hot but Has a Personality, Too
The beloved Brooklyn restaurant is back to serve a city in the thrall of Thai spiciness.
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Who’s making the Free Bonnie Slotnick tshirts bc I urgently need one evgrieve.com/2026/09/line...
evgrieve.com
Line tensions boil over: East Village bookseller Bonnie Slotnick arrested outside Harry Styles pop-up on 2nd Street
EV Grieve is the leading news, entertainment and lifestyle blog about the East Village of New York City.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
AI critics: This is a theft machine for lazy turds with no imagination AI Stans: This is the greatest, most powerful tech in history. It is not a theft machine. There are no original thoughts anymore People Who Created AI: This is a theft machine for lazy turds with no imagination
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Just got a press release for a new bar that “pays homage to the glory days of NYC nightlife” and listen, I’m sure this bar is perfectly nice, but I’m losing my goddamn mind. I’m sick of remakes! I’m sick of homages! Stop building monuments to beauty instead of trying to build beauty itself!!!!
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
jfc @moderation.bsky.app it’s a goofy medical picture I drew for a toddler IT IS NOT SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I own a hat they might want to borrow www.etsy.com/listing/1123...
etsy.com
Satan's School of Gay Communism Vintage Denim Twill Cap - Etsy
This Hats & Caps item by WomanAbtTheInternet has 134 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Charlotte, NC. Listed on Sep 16, 2026
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Bluesky why did you declare a drawing I made for a three-year-old to be adult content
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Kid was asking some pointed questions about how babies are born which led to me drawing the best picture I’ve drawn in my life
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
It’s almost happened enough times that I’ve finally made peace with it: one day I’m going to unknowingly send someone an accidental voice memo of me peeing, and I just need to hope whoever it is will be cool about it
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I can tell I’m getting sick because I watched the Discovery Channel Boom De Yada video with my kid at 6am and I sobbbbbbbed
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
icymi I wrote a little ode to “Jupiter Ascending,” a very important film, in Saturday’s @newyorker.com Daily newsletter
"Jupiter Ascending" (2015)
There's just so much more nonsense than sense in the Wachowskis' magnificently insane space epic. The story, I guess, is about a beautiful Earthling toilet-scrubber catapulted into interplanetary political intrigue because she's a perfect DNA match for a recently-deceased galactic oligarch—but you're doomed if you go looking for coherent plot. Better to absorb this masterpiece as a high-production-value tone poem: Channing Tatum as a canine-spliced rollerblading bodyguard; something involving really hot siblings in a regeneration hot tub; Eddie Redmayne doing oh, so much ACTING; and something happens with bees? Whatever. It's all enormous and gorgeous-looking.—Helen Rosner, staff writer
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
So many very strong and powerful and important reasons to dislike HP and JKR but this one remains, for me, the most needley and irritating
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
A lot of people @ing me saying “I liked it.” Lots of books aren’t good and are still likeable! HP is fun to read! It’s got plot and characters and stakes, and as for the plot holes and bigotry— plenty of other books, some of which we consider to be excellent, are rich in plot holes and bigotry 🧵
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Wow it’s been almost a year since I said this still extremely correct thing thing
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I’ve said it before, but if you have a spare hundo in the budget there is simply no better way to spend it than on a print subscription to @theonion.com
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
It’s a little weird, when you really think about it, that the living legacy of one of the Oscar-winningest films of the 1990s is a chain of mediocre touristy seafood restaurants
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
More where that came from! www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...
newyorker.com
Consider the Oyster Bar
Contemplating life’s mysteries over a seafood tower at Zig Zag Oyster Bar.
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Seth Cotlar @sethcotlar.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
French Historian Marc Bloch, 1940. This is from his book Strange Defeat that tried to make sense of why the French elite succumbed so seemingly easily to the Nazi takeover. Bloch, a nerdy middle aged Sorbonne professor, joined the resistance and was executed by the Gestapo in 1944.
By birth I am a Jew, though not by religion, for I have never professed any creed, whether Hebrew or Christian. I feel neither pride nor shame in my origins. I am, I hope, a sufficiently good historian to know that racial qualities are a myth, and that the whole notion of Race is an absurdity which becomes particularly flagrant when attempts are made to apply it, as in this particular case of the Jews, to a group of co-religionists originally brought together from every corner of the Mediterranean, Turco-Khazar, and Slav worlds. I am at pains never to stress my heredity save when I find myself in the presence of an anti-Semite. But it may be that certain persons will challenge. the evidence which I propose to put on record, and attempt to discredit it on the grounds that I am an 'alien'. I need say no more in rebuttal of such a charge than that my great-grandfather was a serving soldier in
1793; that my father was one of the defenders of Strasbourg in
1870; that both my uncles chose to leave their native Alsace after its annexation by the Second Reich; that I was brought up in the traditions of patriotism which found no more fervent champions than the Jews of the Alsatian exodus, and that France, from which many would like to expel me to-day (and may, for all I know, succeed in doing so), will remain, whatever happens, the one country with which my deepest emotions are inextricably bound up. I was born in France. I have drunk of the waters of her culture. I have made her past my own. I breathe freely only in her climate, and I have done my best, with others, to defend her interests.
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
And it’s REALLY SMART
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I think this might be part of that Artist’s Way thing that I’m always tuning out people talking about
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I’m an anxious-avoidant writer (paralytically terrified of starting), I justify procrastination as “percolating” etc. And yet! whenever I force myself to actually sit down and barf shit out, the thoughts that emerge are totally fresh, previously unknown to my conscious mind, and often pretty good!
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
God I love the hose-water smell of the air conditioner turning on
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casey (RAGS IS FUCKING BACK flop queen) @clberner.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
this rules so hard!!! i think a lot about the telemundo interview AB did about returning to malaga and making musicals there. no one answers a question quite like banderas
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Would kill rn for some Ruffles and a bowl of onion dip.
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
You know when you share a lil bite of people food with your pet, maybe even you let them nibble it off your fork, and it’s just the two of you being delighted together about pasta or a carrot and you’re like Yes my tiny beloved creature look at us! sharing this moment and being alive and I love you!
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
For pound-cake reasons, I want to get a Bundt pan, and oh my god I hadn’t realized how vast and dizzying the options were!!!
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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
if you have been doing odyssey discourse of any kind you are morally and ethically required to purchase Jess’s book now. rules
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
You know what’s *actually* incredibly chic is when authors write introductions to reissues of their books, reflecting on the book’s success and journey etc., and then—this is the chic part—sign off the intro with whatever location it was where they wrote the new intro
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
God it’s so cool seeing myself quoted on a sign
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
I had forgotten about the part where he can’t get a boner during sex and it’s expressed as a multi-paragraph extended metaphor involving an obscure Napoleonic battle, incursions from the infantry, Grouchy elsewhere fucking w the Hussars, etc
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
When I was a repulsively pretentious teen my favorite novel was The Club Dumas, by Arturo Perez-Reverte. I’m rereading it now, several decades later, and (a) man it’s great, and (b) I was clearly a moron who had absolutely not one single idea what was actually going on in that book
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Tricia Lockwood @tricialockwood.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
it’s honestly paradise to go in grocery stores in other countries
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
It occurs to me that Troop Beverly Hills is basically Legally Blonde: Motherhood
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Streaming input glitched while putting on Frozen for 3yo yesterday and we were dropped into the middle of Troop Beverly Hills airing on broadcast tv. Anyway she’s obsessed. We’re watching it again right now.
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Businesslady 🌦️🪶🌄 @courtguerra.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I just rewatched the Mexico Trilogy (including Rodriguez's commentary & outtakes) so my interest in Antonio Banderas was already at an all-time high, but I was still unprepared by how riveting this was. what a life! & I could *hear* his voice throughout. he's amazingly eloquent but still so grounded
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
The box I normally store my lox in Had its lock spinned and its stocks in- Vaded by a sock-shinned dachshund (Loud and pox-thin, like a coxswain). (@luxalptraum.com doesn’t allow quotes so my dumb quatrain gets a screenshot sorry)
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Asked a friend visiting Cairo to bring back DVDs of some Arabic-dubbed kids’ media we haven’t been able to find either through standard channels or 🏴‍☠️ (Moana, Frozen 2, Bluey, things of that nature) and apparently the response from every shop and vendor was like “lol. what. no one buys DVDs anymore”
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
My favorite food on earth when I was a kid was the soggy Caesar salad from the Italian-theme cafeteria at Six Flags Great America (the one kind of across from the entrance to Batman: The Ride) and (this is a compliment) last night I learned that the Gotham Greens Caesar kit replicates it PERFECTLY.
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Joe Vukovich @coolhandvuk.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
This is such a wonderful interview. I have given it the highest honor I can bestow. (I sent it to my mom because I know she'll love reading it.)
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Niche audience but holy shit I just realized the Israeli national anthem is just I’m A Little Teapot in a minor key
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Sarah Emily Duff @sarahemilyduff.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
‘The Bishop of Málaga came to see the show, and after he said, “I am tempted to say that what I saw was heretical, so that many people will come to see it.” I said, “What do you mean by that?” He said, “That I loved it. Can I go again?”’ @hels.bsky.social interviews Antonio Banderas:
newyorker.com
Antonio Banderas’s Acts of Faith
Antonio Banderas on meeting Stephen Sondheim, staging “Godspell” for the Pope, and the thrill, in the new Anthony Bourdain bio-pic, of playing someone “good.”
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Jay @jpjernigan.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
This is a fantastic interview @hels.bsky.social Acts of Faith www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...
newyorker.com
Antonio Banderas’s Acts of Faith
Antonio Banderas on meeting Stephen Sondheim, staging “Godspell” for the Pope, and the thrill, in the new Anthony Bourdain bio-pic, of playing someone “good.”
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
For a while now my policy across all media has been I Don’t Want To Pay Money To Feel Bad and it’s been pretty great. Plenty of feeling bad for free/getting paid to feel bad for my job to be found elsewhere.
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
sidebar, I read an arc of Life of M redentlg and this was kind of what I was hoping it might be about and……. it’s not lol
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
tbc I don’t take issue with the fictionalization—Bourdain was a truth guy but he wasn’t a truth-truth guy. Kitchen Confidential is hyperbolic, all his shows used narrative & film techniques that got to big truths by being selective about little ones.
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
btw the intro to my @newyorkermag interview with Antonio Banderas today is also secretly my capsule review of the new Anthony Bourdain bio-pic, “Tony,” which is way better than I was worried it would be
I saw "Tony," the new bio-pic about Anthony Bourdain, earlier this summer, at a private screening attended largely by people in the world of hospitality and food media, many of whom, myself included, knew the real Bourdain. Food people are normally a raucous, emotive bunch, but there was a tightness in the air as folks arrived and took their seats. Pretty much everyone in the room admitted, in murmurs and whispers, that we were nervous about the film—that it would be superficial, or dehumanizingly hagiographic, or else just sort of clunkily bad, in the way that bio-pics often are, relying overmuch on a viewer's knowledge of who the movie's subject was and would become. But the director of "Tony," Matt Johnson, wisely constrains his story—loosely based on a few early chapters of "Kitchen Confidential," with its narrative arc fairly fictionalized—to one mid-seventies summer. We follow a college-age Bourdain as he bums around Provincetown, trying to be a writer and working his first kitchen job, and the result turns out to be a sharp, intelligent film. ('It's a bildungsroman," a nerdily angelic, beautifully stupid young Tony explains to a panel of white-haired professors in the movie's opening scene, petitioning for funding for a novel he plans to write. It sure is, kid.)The movie-which comes out August 7th—is a star turn for Dominic Sessa, who plays the young Tony with adenoidal swagger. But the most extraordinary thing on the screen is Antonio Banderas, who delivers an astonishing, devastating performance as the proprietor of the restaurant where Bourdain finds work, and on whose porch Tony ends up sleeping for the summer. Chef-the character is nameless, and seemingly unknowable—is a mentor and a foil to Tony, his lined face and graying beard highlighting Tony's youth, his composure framing Tony's jittery ambition. Chef is unbothered by his kitchen staff fighting, yelling, stealing, and openly doing drugs, but he draws the line at any blasphemous utterance of the Lord's name, and he makes Tony join him at church every week as a condition of his ongoing residence in Chef's hammock. Banderas has been, for well over thirty years now, one of our most bombastic, most movie-star movie stars, whether he's brandishing a period-accurate rapier or succumbing to Almodovarian psychodrama. In the very human-scale role of Chef, all that glamour and pageantry seethes just beneath the skin. The movie doesn't shy away from letting Tony make mistakes—at times, the character edges toward outright villainy—and Banderas animates Chef with a contrasting moral clarity whose force feels almost physical.
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Ned Raggett @nedraggett.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
This is no lie. In fact this might well be the best general interview feature I've read this year and perhaps beyond that -- great questions, lengthy and thoughtful answers. My estimation for Banderas has suddenly shot through the roof.
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Helen Rosner @hels.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
I had a long, honestly pretty spectacular conversation with Antonio Banderas (!!!!) and i think you will really enjoy reading it www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...
newyorker.com
Antonio Banderas’s Acts of Faith
Antonio Banderas on meeting Stephen Sondheim, staging “Godspell” for the Pope, and the thrill, in the new Anthony Bourdain bio-pic, of playing someone “good.”
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