theonion.com
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison
WASHINGTON—Vowing to restore and revitalize the facilities as a symbol of law, order, and justice, President Donald Trump ordered the U.S. government Monday to reopen Joann Fabrics and Crafts stores as federal prisons. “I am directing the Bureau of Prisons to use all 850 Joann locations to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders,” Trump wrote […]
