Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 11hThe Alaska Sealife center has a new baby walrus and I'm going to be obnoxious about it 2110
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 16hHey, just so we're all on the same page, everyone in that group chat needs to be something somethinged 141
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 19hSociety: "Violence is never the answer." Also society: *consistently and systematically removes all other available answers* 030
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Look, there's not that many of them. If everyone would just get them all into one place and promise to be real cool about whatever happens next I will gladly fix all this. 040
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Had to pull the bottom cover of the couch off to fix a spring that came loose from its anchor. Get it fixed, buttoned up, and flipped back over. Start hearing mysterious sounds. Cant find cat. Accidentally entombed her in the couch. 1/ 1110
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I don't think there is anyone on Earth I'd rather have a true, no holds-barred conversation with than Obama. That has to be one of the most singular experiences in human history. Imagine crashing through one of the most reinforced ceilings in the history, and then watching the world 1/ 140
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Ok, like, for real though, no one is gonna be super sad about AI wiping us out, right? Look what we've fucking done to the place. We would never get our security deposit back! I don't know if AI will be better, but man, we're leaving a pretty high bar for it to be worse. 020
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Ed Sheeran's roll over is just further proof gingers have no souls 030
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 13/09/2026The fucking audacity to constantly ruin my life, but also look like this. 050
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Look at the size of that fucking Yosemite Sam hat!! Why is everyone involved in this administration's nonsense some kind of weird, uncanny valley caricature of a person?!?!? 4101
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Here's the thing man, 9/11 was obviously one of the worst tragedies of the post WW2 era. There were thousands of innocent deaths, and hundreds of thousands of people who lost their children, their parents, their spouses, their siblings, their friends. My heart truly breaks for them. But at some 1/ 120
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 09/09/2026URGENT!!!! After a massive bloody nose last night, my cat has acquired the taste for human blood. Its too late for me, but there's still time for all of you. Move to the coldest place you can, and no matter how much crashing you hear in the living room at night DO NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOM TO INVESTIGATE! 281
Reposted by HalfsiesRobert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Why do you appreciate unions? I’ll start: Weekends off Paid vacations Work breaks Sick leave Paid holidays No child labor Safer working conditions Health care and retirement benefits 491129263883
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Man, I cant tell you how grateful I am for all the Twitter tribe I've managed to stay in touch with. Of all the shit I wanna punch Elon right in his stupud fucking face for, ruining my online social circle would get him the hardest. 1130
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 07/09/2026So I fired up my Roomba for the first time today. The cat was....less than enthusiastic. But I do like to think she was proud of me when she watched me kill and rips its guts out by turning it off and emptying the dust bin. Dad: 1 Stupid Cat: 945,064 040
Reposted by HalfsiesDiedrich Bader @diedrichbader.bsky.social · 06/09/2026What’s funny about his new hair color is that he’s in the Epstein files more than anyone else 492646517
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 05/09/2026It's kinda weird how the people that want white people to be as white as possible are on the same team as the people who don't give a fuck that the world is going to get super hot. As one of the whitest whites I can tell you hot, direct sunlight is not where we thrive. 180
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Stink season has begun! Hooray for smelling rivers full of rotten fish for the next month. 020
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026One of the worst parts about being over 40 is having to job interview every fart you have. 150
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Happy anniversary of the Battle of Blair Mountain ✊️✊️✊️✊️ Solidarity forever! youtu.be/jJVaUX79RZc?...youtu.beSolidarity Forever (Cover) by Seth Staton WatkinsYouTube video by Seth Staton Watkins 240
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 01/09/2026So this morning on the way to work I searched up "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult on Spotify. As it ended, Spotify did what it normally does and plays a song it thinks is similar to the one you searched up. It picked "Spoonman", leading me to the horrible realization that the Spoonman is actually a 1/ 130
Halfsies @halfmt.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Gonna be honest, I dont really like Duolingo's fuckin' attitude 140
