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Ben

@halfemptiest.bsky.social
159 followers 180 following 232 posts

Getting my social media fix with ~25% less fascism

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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 19h
The lions defense under Campbell has always sucked, but never a wet sock like this. Full on 6-7 win team right here
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
He found an area to agree with democrats to cripple labor. Hooray bipartisanship
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Spending too much time on memorizing 14 words rather than mastering the triple option and rising from the MAC
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Man, pick up one staffer who has played ncaa football or 2K. This is what the 12 year lapse of ncaa titles did to our society
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
In this pic he’s mostly thinking about the release of the new flavor of buzzballs
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Very anti couch fucking stance to take
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
And we all know how this will end, no one will question him, he’ll leave the senate and go onto some lobbying firm and make 10 million a year trying to manipulate a way to get more beignets into school lunches.
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Tie this motherfucker to a fan boat and send it out into the gulf
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
ITS YOUR FUCKING LEGACY YOU FUCKING TOADSTOOL, YOU FUCKING VOTED THE MEASLES MAN IN. DRACULA IS NOW A TERRIBLE LEGACY ON MY HOUSEHOLD AFTER IINVITED HIM IN AND LET HIM NIBBLE ON MY CHILDREN
washingtonpost.com
Sen. Cassidy says measles surge will be administration’s ‘terrible legacy’
Under questioning by Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-Louisiana), Trump’s surgeon general pick Nicole Saphier called a combined vaccine “our greatest tool for combating measles infections.”
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Points to multiple failures in the Middle East over the last 50-90 years, “but see if we didn’t do that, it’d be totally worse, based on my imagined alternate reality”
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
If we could just create the bloodlust of that time, we can create our next 20 year war
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The only way out is through the toilet
washingtonpost.com
E. coli, salmonella outbreak linked to alfalfa sprouts, CDC says
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a food safety alert Friday warning people not to eat potentially contaminated alfalfa sprouts.
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
You’re gonna shit blood one way or another
cnn.com
Outshine fruit bars recalled for possible glass contamination | CNN
Some Outshine Fruit Bars distributed nationwide have been recalled amid concerns over potential contamination with glass, according to parent company Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream.
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Saluting from the toilet as RFK continues to make us healthier
cbsnews.com
FDA upgrades recall of frozen blueberries sold at Publix to highest health risk level
Recalled frozen blueberries and mixed berries that could be contaminated with E. coli pose the most severe category of health risk, according to the FDA.
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Nothing that a few swinging pull-ups and medically unnecessary testosterone can’t fix
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
I will also now stop paying for the Medicare scam as I’m subsidizing care I won’t even use
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
About damn time. When will these toddlers learn some self dependency? How about you go out and earn your faffle? Also, we speak English in America, not babble
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Trump trying to a nuke a hurricane was just a preamble to the entire GOP starting a bombing campaign with the Canadian forest
globalnews.ca
‘Sovereignty comes with responsibility:’ U.S. lawmakers to Canada on wildfires - National | Globalnews.ca
As wildfire smoke blankets parts of the country, and spills into the United States, some U.S. lawmakers are calling on Canada to do more.
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
After mandated T testing was insufficient, Hegseth requires units show up 30 minutes early to PT for ‘individual unit roasting’
Getting some red light on the junk
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsey wasn’t even important enough for the faux hospital tour, where Ted Cruz swears he spoke to him for 18 minutes about Iran, the loved ones in his life, why he kept seeing John McCain in the corner..etc
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Celebrating 250 years of America by inhaling all the pollutants we’ve been poisoned with over the last century. Fireworks will be followed by a lead paint taste testing
wapo.st
Fireworks on Mall likely to cause hazardous air pollution, documents show
Internal modeling shows the July 4th fireworks display will cause hazardous pollution around the Mall and “very unhealthy conditions across central D.C.”
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
MLM-ification of the entire economy. Either it all crashes and we suffer a giant recession, or the Nazi-edgelord becomes a lone hegemonic power. A win-win if you will
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Local raccoon says he won’t eat trash from dumpster out back
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
static.klipy.com
Charlie's Spaghetti Policy - It's Always Sunny
Alt: Charlie's Spaghetti Policy - It's Always Sunny
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Need some pocket kraut on the go. What if Cheryl wants to go to an Italian dinner? Severe lack of kraut, peptide-less. I fail to see the issue
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Off to Valhalla
nytimes.com
Scores Fall Ill at Air Force Base After Hegseth Makes Flu Vaccine Optional
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Putting pictures of hardcore pornography on the brim of my hat to ensure everyone knows how much I disagree with ‘kids run the bases day’
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
I announce the ceasefire of me and this beer right before the DUI checkpoint
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Getting questioned about my manhood by a dude that hasn’t seen his in 40 years
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Whatever guardian, I’m off to make corn flakes for birds to curb this disgusting masturbation habit
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Need money to create a developmental league of pedophiles, Jan 6th will be single A ball en route to the Epstein leagues
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
President pedophile creating monetary fund to give back to pedophiles. He really looks out for the little guy, you don’t know which Jan 6th guy will turn into the next pageant owner
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Swing and a miss team Mcmorrow. -signed a triple board certified physician
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Science is only true when it proves what I believe in, like the healing powers of raccoon penis
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
The dinner is continuing and Trump is coming back? It’s gotta be a false flag. The secret service fired a couple shots in the rafters so Trump could get a change of pants after his diaper failed. Operation pampers
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Moving latrines upriver because drinking contaminated water is what our warrior forefathers did, and they died a warriors death, shitting their brains out
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Sure laugh now, but you’ll see when we discover the only way to prevent Covid is wearing a raccoon penis on your belt like a rabbits foot
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
To be fair, sometimes they’re just besties with Christ
A neurosurgeon and his equal
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Pope is weak on crime, too much reconciliation with this guy. Turn the other cheek? Not with our mandatory minimums.
Old man yells at pope
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
Marco downing 7 and 7’s like invading Cuba relies on it. Maybe the state of the union Marco is just how he drinks things
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
2 week reprieve on the apocalypse. At least I’ll get to finish my son’s Easter candy
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
God this sucks. “Can anyone save us? I, a US Senator, cannot do anything. The only thing that can save us is the golden hearted troop.” I have and will ignore all the war crimes the noble troop has already committed
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Leader of the ‘free world’ threatening genocide of a people. Last 12 hours of civilization everyone!! Woo
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
I definitely have Cabrera and verlander bobbleheads that have April in the D emblazoned over the front from April baseball games circa 2011ish
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Ah yes, the same laser that shut down El Paso last month. Let’s deploy that near Reagan, probably be cool, no air traffic there. Plus lasers! PEW PEW
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
The sequel “Hated by the new Pope” is currently being edited
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
JD Vance, “How I murdered the Pope” on newsstands in two months
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Someone has to stop the unregulated timbits market from flowing into Michigan
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Coming to work age during ‘08-09, a lot of gen-z’s complaints sounds a lot like the articles asking millennials the same questions back then. The job market is miserable, and worsening as everyone is now classified as an independent contractor and stripped of their healthcare and bargaining rights
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Ben @halfemptiest.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
Need more centrist matty to show up in my timeline to tell me how I need to vote for a sprinkle of fascism and throw his minority of choice to the dogs so the dems can see a poll jump of +0.6 in white men who drive lifted pickups with a roll coal decal on the back
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