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Marv

@guiltysmith.bsky.social
705 followers 440 following 3.7K posts

No one of consequence. Maybe listen if I'm talking about structural engineering but you can safely ignore anything else.

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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
1 that's a different problem. 2 who the fuck are you? 3 who do you think I am?
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The gopher in my backyard is getting things delivered by FedEx
A box on a gravel driveway next to a vinal fence and in no way near a door or mailbox
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
*Passing the health inspection by the skin of my teeth* Hey C's get degrees
King of the hill where Hank is looking at Bobby's report card and saying " C, C PLUS, 2 B MINUSES YOU REALLY DID IT THIS TIME, SON. YOU SET REALISTIC GOALS, AND YOU REACHED THEM."
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Sometimes we put good skeets in texts where we actually keep in touch. For example, here's a response to one of yours
A screenshot of a fig economy tweet that cannot be shown because of login requirements. The response is "thanks I hate it"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Aella the huntress looking contemptfully next to the word what
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Would you kindly cut the table ties with scissors?
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I'm having no problem, elephant man is a great utility caster and Armand Tamzarian has a ton of skill proficiencies
Sepulchretude from problem sleuth Trevor Moore from wkuk saying "it's illegal to say "I'm going to kill the president ""Armand tamzarian saying "up yours children"A childrens book that plays music, there is the Korean, a romanized and and English translation. This song is about the elephant man, not John Merrick a different elephant man. Though both use the definite article.
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Look at this wild build I saw yesterday
A fiber optics spool that someone has reused as a table, they put a tiled tabletop on it. It is sitting outside.
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
One of the only things you aren't allowed to say
Trevor Moore from the whitest kids you know sketch about how it's illegal to say "I'm going to kill the president" but it's ok for me to write this because it's just describing the sketch I didn't actually say I'm going to kill the president
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Mantech is a division of boytech
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Aela the huntress saying "What?"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I thought I had a couple more years before this breakdown
Homer Simpson saying "half my life is gone and I'm only guaranteed 38 more years"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Happy feast of st. Lawrence
The Pope grilling a steak next to an above ground pool and frankly far too close to a house
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I'll bet if I knew more about Mario cart I could make a passable joke about this.
A suburu with a bike rack on the back. It has a banana peel on the rack hanging as though left to dry
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
You can disapprove of atmospheric testing without pretending that that's not a reasonable way to test bombs. Also elsewhere he does the "so called remote" thing about mcmurdo station so I'm about to send an email asking for his definition of remote
...a tradition that can be followed right up to the more recent "testing" of atomic bombs on "remote" Pacific islands
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
She bought me a Christian hat at the airport. I'm assuming this is a positive step in musindo-catholic relations
A green ball cap with the word "blessed" and a white dove. Behind it is a patriotic reds cap they gave away at great American stadium maybe 15 years ago
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Who's making these signs you gotta read for blind people?
A sign that reads "caution blind person"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
I was sent this today and it's similar
Estimated capital investment required to create one permanent job in a US data center: $54,000,000
To create one permanent job in any other sector of the us economy: $322,000
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
I feel like being a culinary staple is like being powerful, in that if you have to tell people you are, you aren't
A bag of jalapenos with a little blob that says "culinary staple"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
I've thought about this "Bobby that's not funny" line probably every week for over a decade
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Last year my wife purchased matzos because it was on sale and she thought it looked like the crackerbread I eat and folks, that's a bad substitute
A box of matzos next to a box of crispbread
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
So... 1: Do people still do flashmobs? And 2: Are they usually put on the public calendar?
The online posted calendar for a public park in New Hampshire. Today there is the no kings protest followed immediately by a Cuban dance event labeled a flashmob and dance social. A guy at work teaches it it's sort of fun. Several municipal meetings are also listed for things like trees advisory boards and zoning but those aren't funny enough to post about.
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
What is it about silver? There's a lot of transition metals, check if copper works.
The Simpsons season 6 episode 10 where grandpa has a sex tonic. He is mixing bathroom chemicals together and saying "my great Grampappy stumbled upon this recipe when he was trying to invent a cheap substitute for holy water" a thing they'll just give you at church
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
The end of the principal and the pauper where the judge is giving Seymour his past, present, future and mother
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
A smbc where a man dressed like a scientist says: I'm testing a new compact teleportation device. You have only to raise it to your face to be instantaneously transported to the alley behind Taco Bell.
His wife enters and says: Bob. You're not even a scientist. I want a divorce.
He chugs from a flask and awakens in the alley saying "phew, close one."
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
It'll do Pokemon but not if you ask it to make them mad about things not rhyming. Then I guess it picks French who I guess have the best language for expressing annoyance?
A poem "for the ladies" by Horace that I've asked to translate into "slowpoke mad that it doesn't rhyme" it looks like it picked French and complained and ignored the whole pokemon request
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
He would've been a great fast food reviewer.
A kagi translation from the Newt Gingrich tweet "McDonald's grilled chicken mcwrap at 250 calories is both a dollar and pound bargain." Into the style of GK Chesterton. It becomes "There is something profoundly mystical, and perhaps a bit mad, in the fact that a Grilled Chicken McWrap from McDonald's, containing but two hundred and fifty calories, should be considered a bargain of both the dollar and the pound. It is the sort of paradox that only a modern man could invent: to find a feast in a fragment and a fortune in a pittance"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
Dying the river green is a fun tradition but not as fun as my tradition of remembering one of the most ill advised tweet of all time
A Chicago bears tweet showing the Chicago River dyed orange. It says "that's more like it. Happy #StPatricksDay, Chicago"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Gen Z vs Millennial ideas of success
The cover of Richie Rich with Macaulay Culkin. He is wearing a tux and driving a golden convertible out of a huge mansion. Did you know they made a Richie Rich in 2015? I didn'tHomer in the treehouse of horror where he turns a toaster into a time machine. He is in the beat possible world where he has "fabulous house, well behaved kids, sisters in law dead, luxury sedan..."
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
Just went to my local Italian deli and garden center
A sign for Pellegrino's Italian deli and garden center
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
The cartoon mobster did a better job of arguing against you than these guys and it's intentionally silly
Fat Tony from the Simpsons asking Bart "and what if your family don't like bread? They like... Cigarettes."
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
Of course, if I'd known there was a war going on I probably would have apologized.
The Simpsons the principal and the pauper where Armand Tamzarian says he was given a choice, jail, the army, or apologizing to the judge and the old lady
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
No
The journal of the American resources association asking if the Ohio River flows all the way to New Orleans
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
When you hear the HBO intro but they are watching The Wire
A grey and white cat squinting put from his cat tree
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
We thought it would be a good strategy to try to score more points than our opponents within the allotted time
Homestar Runner being interviewed for Coach Z's Hustle for Sports video
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
He likes the sopranos but is indifferent to other shows
A small white and grey cat watching the sopranos. Tony is dreaming about being a craftsman
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
I don't know why we even have this tap.
A sink with a tap labeled "scalding hot"
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
I'm having a stroke the shape parameter can't be negative and I know you know that because you wrote it in your methods. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation but I feel dumb as hell right now
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
The AI overview on Pumpkin the horse sounds like mid twentieth century historians talking about a gay gladiators boyfriend
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Did she have some sort of surgery to get an extra couple stomachs?
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Plus the sidewalk plows are fun little guys!
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
Kingdom of Loathing required an English test to use the chat function
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
It's so good the only flaw is when your mother in law sends more kimchi than the box can handle you feel like you have to buy the post office a new building to say sorry
US post office boxes wrapped in plastic with little signs that say not to remove exploded package of kimchi from them
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
It looks like they think avocados are the average food, steak is the archetypical protein and rice is the grain. Falls apart at vegetables because obviously carrots and root veggies should be further down the right side for their good carb content if it's this 3 axis graph.
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
"shoot your local pedophile"
Trevor Moore in the "it's illegal to say" sketch by the whitest kids you know
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
The public library where I live has these pamphlets bragging that they are the best libraries in town. Take that teaching hospital's medical library!
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
Look at this downgrade!
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
Cool dog thanks for messing with my workspace last night
The genAI pop-up telling me to use AI at my job
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Marv @guiltysmith.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
You must have an air purifier in every room because of a chemical spill 30 years ago (ok fine lackadaisical regular dumping). But the fines in the souls lab clog the filters. The solution is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
An air purifier in a plexiglass box barely big enough to fully encase in. It is turned off.
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