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Jonathan Grynspan

@grynspan.me
147 followers 44 following 226 posts

Might know what he's doing. (Says as much on his business cards.) Any ol’ pronouns will do. 🦻🏻

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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 28/09/2026
This candy is somehow, inexplicably, a universal core memory of millennial Jews.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 12/07/2026
Ah, I see they're finally admitting the death of Republican senator _hwaaaaaaaa_!?
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 10/07/2026
@misterabk.bsky.social My good and great friend—when are you touring in Canada!?
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Reposted by Jonathan Grynspan
Alisha Grauso (She/Her) @alishagrauso.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Our entire economy is being artificially propped up by astrology for men: AI, crypto, sports betting, and prediction markets. It's an economy shaped entirely by male insecurity and lack of impulse control, and we'll all pay the price.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 26/05/2026
Dookie is now easy-listening Adult Contemporary they play at the pharmacy… if you were wondering.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 21/04/2026
Oh shit my code went to the Moon!
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 15/04/2026
Oh my god. The plot of The 7th Guest is just Spooky Willy Wonka.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 12/04/2026
Coax in wall goes… nowhere? Previous owners what the hell did you do
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 22/03/2026
Look I don't know if anybody is still playing Wordle, but: 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 14/03/2026
Bold choice, grocery store, playing "Tears" by Sabrina Carter.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 11/03/2026
I own two actual tribbles from actual Star Trek.
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Becca Royal-Gordon @beccadax.soincredibly.gay · 27/02/2026
The Swift Performance team isn’t *my* team, but they’re in my hallway. Or in London if you’d prefer. They’re looking for an engineer who’s not afraid of optimizers. jobs.apple.com/en-us/detail...
jobs.apple.com
Swift Compiler Backend Engineer - Jobs - Careers at Apple
Apply for a Swift Compiler Backend Engineer job at Apple. Read about the role and find out if it’s right for you.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 14/02/2026
The French _semaine_ ("week") is just a sloppy pronunciation of _sept matins_ ("seven mornings", from Latin _septimana_) and this vexes me.
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Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
The biggest issue is that, contrary to what many people who really should know better say, space is a bad place to vent heat. It is very hard to vent heat in near-vacuum. You may have heard that space is cold but "cold" is a very counterintuitive idea in an environment without much matter.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 26/12/2025
Snowed in at the in-laws for an extra day. 🫠
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Konrad ‘ktoso’ Malawski @kto.so · 14/11/2025
Any great managers following me and looking to switch gigs? :-) work with compilers and tools with my team. London based! jobs.apple.com/en-us/details/...
jobs.apple.com
Swift Compiler Engineering Manager - Jobs - Careers at Apple
Apply for a Swift Compiler Engineering Manager job at Apple. Read about the role and find out if it’s right for you.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 03/11/2025
There's something aesthetically pleasing about porting code to a new OS and getting it green in CI. And then there's OpenBSD. github.com/swiftlang/sw...
github.com
Capture the current working directory early on OpenBSD. by grynspan · Pull Request #1388 · swiftlang/swift-testing
This PR adds some OpenBSD-specific code to capture the current working directory as early as possible. We then use that directory when argv[0] appears to be a relative path so that the following in...
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 27/10/2025
I kind of wonder what would happen to one of those Greek-statue accounts if they learned about the Seleucid Empire.
Meme of two astronauts observing the Earth from afar. One astronaut is pointing a pistol at the other, who is facing away and doesn't see it. "Wait, it's all ANCIENT GREECE?" says the doomed astronaut. "Always has been," says his soon-to-be killer.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 22/10/2025
"Gotye and Similar Artists" Music app, you grossly misunderstand the situation here.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 27/09/2025
This team is central to the Swift OSS experience. And it's in Canada!
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Tracy Miranda @tracymiranda.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Great opportunity for someone keen on software quality to join the team at Apple in Ottawa working on fun devtools! jobs.apple.com/en-us/detail...
jobs.apple.com
Tools and Automation Engineer - Jobs - Careers at Apple
Apply for a Tools and Automation Engineer job at Apple. Read about the role and find out if it’s right for you.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 17/09/2025
The only correct use of generative AI is to make Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine sing Les Poissons from The Little Mermaid.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 09/09/2025
Want to come help us build Swift Testing and XCTest? WELL NOW YOU CAN. jobs.apple.com/en-ca/detail...
jobs.apple.com
Swift Testing Frameworks Engineer - Jobs at Apple
Apply for a Swift Testing Frameworks Engineer job at Apple. Read about the role and find out if it’s right for you.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 01/09/2025
As is tradition: youtu.be/KBXsx1ZHgg0
youtu.be
Labor Dabor
YouTube video by homestarrunnerdotcom
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 22/08/2025
I think I read the previous page while I was still in high school.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 07/08/2025
Nobody: COM in Swift: `pointee.lpVtbl.pointee`
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Mishal @shahmishal.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
My team at Apple is currently hiring for a role that focuses on compiler tools and infrastructure. If you’re interested in this opportunity, please take a look at the job posting here: jobs.apple.com/en-us/detail... #llvm #swiftlang
jobs.apple.com
Compiler Tools Engineer - Jobs - Careers at Apple
Apply for a Compiler Tools Engineer job at Apple. Read about the role and find out if it’s right for you.
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Alasdair Beckett-King @misterabk.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
I think Ai chatbots passing the Turing test is impressive, in the same way that a magician passing a coin through a solid oak table is impressive. But the thing is, magicians can't actually pass coins through tables; their skill is in making it seem that they can.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 19/07/2025
*me, telling my wife who works in a courthouse, about today's story*
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 19/07/2025
*quietly* what does "pro se" mean
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 30/06/2025
Six timed cooks in a row, each too short to bring the food past room temperature, until the sixth one overshoots and turns my queso into lava hotter than the surface of Venus.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 30/06/2025
In case you're wondering what it's like to live this far north: it's 9PM and the sun's still up.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 16/06/2025
Oh you thought I was done with exit tests? forums.swift.org/t/pitch-capt...
media.tenor.com
kermit the frog is standing in front of a brick wall and saying evil laugh
ALT: kermit the frog is standing in front of a brick wall and saying evil laugh
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 15/06/2025
This is so wrong it swings around to actually being right.
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Ben Cohen @airspeedswift.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
Lots of great Swift content coming soon, starting with What's New in Swift with @hborla.bsky.social and @tshortli.bsky.social developer.apple.com/videos/play/... #swift #swiftlang #wwdc
developer.apple.com
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 05/06/2025
Hey folks, what's new in America these d—omfg
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 03/06/2025
To my sudden influx of new followers: why…?
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Swift Language @swift.org · 14/05/2025
As the Swift ecosystem grows, we're adding a steering group to help us all coordinate efforts around package and tool development. More here: forums.swift.org/t/announcing...
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 10/05/2025
Imagine this with a hostile political party that wants to ban your marriage and which wins every other major election. 😶
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 09/05/2025
For both our kids, every medical professional involved in the event told us not to bother with the ointment. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 30/04/2025
*flashbacks intensify*
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 29/04/2025
@yesternaut.bsky.social this you
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 29/04/2025
That screaming sound you hear? That's me, screaming, waiting for the election results.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 24/04/2025
Noorden's war fries.
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Swift Language @swift.org · 21/04/2025
Majid's blog is full of well-written articles on different aspects of Swift. Here's a quick look at one of the new features in Swift 6.1 for test scoping...
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 16/04/2025
babyCount += 1
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 04/04/2025
Bought a box. Won't eat it, but that has nothing to do with Canada-U.S. relations.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 20/03/2025
Attachments coming to Swift Testing in a review thread near you! forums.swift.org/t/st-0009-at... #swift #swifttesting
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 20/03/2025
forums.swift.org/t/st-0008-ex... Exit tests! Death tests! Termination tests! In Swift Testing! #swift #swifttesting
The classic Ron Paul "it's happening!" meme.
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Jonathan Grynspan @grynspan.me · 19/03/2025
It's my headcanon that Rocky absolutely *loathes* Rubble. #PawPatrol
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