Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Don’t let your child eat batteries. DROP A BRICK ON THEIR FUCKIN HEAD INSTEAD 2151 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Would yall subscribe to my Podcast where it videos all of my daily interactions inside and outside of the office and also I don’t record any of it or post it at all? Would that earn your Smash? 020 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 18/07/2026The homogeneity of professional golf is getting out of hand 090 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 18/07/2026The opposite of Warsaw is Peacehammer ..and THAT’S my contribution to the world today 081 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Oh, Cluttr’d Desktop, You started so fresh, so clean Still there’s room for More. 030 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Sometimes you gotta put me in a slot canyon during monsoon season and just see what happens. The larger danger is working in an office. 0101 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 04/06/2026If unflavored sparkling/mineral water turns out to be bad for us i am, as parenthetically stated by the Athenians, absolutely fucked. 060 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 03/06/2026“All due respect to NASCAR” was a challenge to write. Never thought I’d start a sentence that way. Life moves pretty fast. 070 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 03/06/2026All due respect to NASCAR, but fuck left turns, like, in general. 1111 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 21/05/2026Dog walk: 45 minutes total 8 minutes walk time 37 minutes struggling to open the dog poop plastic bag Am I the only one who has this problem? 280 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 19/05/2026Might f around and become John Prine * blew up my tv * Threw away my paper * Moved to the country * Built me a home * Planted a little garden * Ate a lot of peaches * Tried to find jesus on my own (in progress, haven’t checked the crawlspace yet) 1182 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 23/04/2026Your mouth says, “I don’t use AI to write my resume.” But your resume, your actual resume, says… 0102 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 20/04/2026Not to brag but I was just alphabetizing a stack of papers and I gotta say, I am really good at knowing where the letters are and which ones come before others 040 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 01/04/2026You had me at “we found a donor for your failing heart,” but you lost me at “please take a few short moments to complete a brief survey” 010 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 26/02/2026I think the Idris Elba Hijack show is not very good but the intro music absolutely goddamned slaps 230 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 25/02/2026Adobe Acrobat being condescending as hell with me. Only Clippy is allowed to speak to me in that manner, and that fucker is on thin ice after what he did to my family 0100 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 23/02/2026iPhone: Software update 67.594.7 is available. It will install later tonight when the device is charged and connected to WiFi Me (the next morning): you didn’t do it iPhone: I KNOW RIGHT Me: why? iPhone: Me: iPhone: I’ll do it tonight, I promise 612115 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 26/01/2026In the Old West, there were only 2 options for helping a loved one get sober. 080 0
Reposted by GregYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 03/01/2026[God creating dogs] Oh these turned out great. Im going to want all of these back at some point 191168192 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 06/01/2026Who let Joey Chestnut on the Board of Directors at WHOOP? 040 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Just when I try to stop snack, they come out with even more snack, better snack 1212 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 28/12/2025*makes millions* *buys Nissan Juke* *drives it into the ocean* *walks back to dealership* *buys Nissan Juke* *drives it into the ocean* *wal 041 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 03/12/2025I just want to be wealthy enough to have a loggia. Don’t care whether it is attached to a house or attached to a Robert. 150 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 13/11/2025SKATEPARK: Yay, $1.8 million in donations to build me! PRINCIPAL: You know what…fuck this shit, I quit. 050 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 04/11/2025It’s a bag of chips, not my aunt carol’s goddamned recipe blog intro 070 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 03/11/2025All I want for Christmas is $2,800 and for Willie Nelson to sing “C is for Cookie” from Sesame Street. 060 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 16/10/2025She’s a perfect fit for the job but I can’t do anything about it. 1122 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 06/10/2025The idea of broth seeping lazily and unchecked through the farmland has sent me into deep hypnosis 2222 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 06/10/2025It is supposed to be our special night. A grand romantic gesture. It takes me over an hour to light all the candles. My god there are so many. It is now 300 degrees in your bedroom. My desperate attempts to keep wax off your dresser further kill the mood. Love has left your eyes. 0103 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 05/10/2025the acronym you’re thinking of does indeed score points in that game. 020 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 05/10/2025What if, as a hilarious joke, I was able to sleep until my alarm went off 170 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 05/10/2025I still play Words With Friends (not ashamed) and hoooo boy do I get the feeling that the overwhelming majority of my opponents have highly problematic, uh, worldviews quite different from my own. Wild. 170 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 24/09/2025If the gates really are pearly you gotta worry about the other design choices within. 070 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 21/09/2025One cool thing that happened we were watching Portlandia the other day and discovered that we stayed in a cool Airbnb where they shot some scenes 050 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 20/09/2025you’re gonna have to slow down Grace i will direct your attention to my previous sentence about not knowing what am numbers much less polysyllabic worbs 170 0
Greg @growlygrego.bsky.social · 20/09/2025real talk does this spider have 9 legs or do i not understand how numbers work ? 5212 0
