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Mike Pawlowski

@greenplasticmike.bsky.social
126 followers 246 following 668 posts

A green plastic watering can for a fake plastic Chinese plant.

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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I was in NYC for the 2024 election and.... it was pretty close to that.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Distressed English boat captain in the North Sea over the radio: "We are sinking!" German Coast Guard: "Ve understand perfectly. Vat are you sinking about?"
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Oh god
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
A Yale-educated guy clearly knows the differences between major economic systems, but instead of providing an accurate definition and engaging with why he thinks it’s bad… he just makes shit up. MAGA is conditioned to accept “socialism” as “shit we don’t like”.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I’m very familiar with the goatse meme, but (afraid to ask) what’s the one w the glass candle? <hides under covers>
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Ok, fine. It’s Charles’ turn.
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Reposted by Mike Pawlowski
Jay Kuo @nycjayjay.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This is a community note for the ages.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
That headline needs to be split into, like, three sentences.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Anyone who believes this should send me $5000 right now and when the checks roll in, I’ll pay you back $7500. Easy money.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Wasn’t so long ago that “Texas will never vote Republican” would have been a reasonable thing to say. Magaism has scrambled our politics such that conventional wisdom may not hold.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Schmidt looks ridiculous either way, but I have to think that you can salvage a bit of lasting dignity if you just admit that you’re fallible, have a good laugh with everyone else in the room, and apologize in the moment.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Imagine if I had done that with my friends: YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT I BOUGHT SAUTERNES INTEAD IF SANCERRE MUTHERFUCKER WHATCHOU GOT AGAINST SWEET ASS WINE WITH RAW OYSTERS?
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
After watching Sen Schmidt lash out at Klobuchar pointing out his mistake, I immediately wondered why he didn’t just laugh at himself.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Time came to start opening the oysters, and my friends retrieved the bottle I had selected, which, was not Sancerre, but was Sauternes. Jet lagged, I had confused the names of wine varietals that aren’t terribly common in the US. (Yes I do know the difference. )
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Not too long ago, I was tasked with acquiring a bottle of Sancerre from the rather large wine section of a rural French grocery store. We were going to consume an unfathomable number of fresh oysters.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
So bored with the reflex among politicians to double down aggressively when they fuck up, rather than just, you know, be a human and go into Emily Litella mode.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’m not a phlebotomist, but I’d be willing to bet that someone else who is not a phlebotomist missed the vein with the IV.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Horror show happening now in TN.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Ricky Bobby: I Don't Know What To Do With My Hands $KTO
Alt: Ricky Bobby: I Don't Know What To Do With My Hands $KTO
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Just to fuck w him, Jack Smith should announce that he’s going to a basketball game at the University of Kansas this season.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Hegseth would never pass up a fifth.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Ok, yes. It’s “fewer”, not “less”. But the real story is that the words “Hegseth” and “a fifth” appeared in the same headline, and it was not about whiskey.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Paging @kevinmkruse.bsky.social. Do your thing, sir.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
People who were recently booted from SNAP benefits will be so happy to hear this news
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I blew Gronk
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Try doing broadcasting.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Let’s go, Bills
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Lapels are ridiculous!
apple.news
Gisele Bündchen Ended Her Marriage to Tom Brady With Just 3 Words — InStyle
The former couple, who share two kids, divorced in 2022.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Girl must've been seething all these years watching MTG and Boebert suck up all the attention.
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Reposted by Mike Pawlowski
Tressie McMillan Cottom @tressiemcphd.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I don’t know anything about the lesbian bar you’ve all been picking on but I do know the stats on lesbian bars are depressing and that seems more important. www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/rise-...
smithsonianmag.com
The Rise and Fall of America's Lesbian Bars
Only 15 nightlife spaces dedicated to queer and gay women remain in the United States
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I remain concerned.
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Reposted by Mike Pawlowski
Emily✨ @emilyoram.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I have a similar issue with “playwright“. Just looks wrong every time.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
There is a non zero chance that someone mentioned the 20 years ago DC Sniper case within earshot of him recently, and this brainiac started getting an idea…
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I know. I’m super jealous.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
My daughter is right now taking a class at NYU that is solely about Fleetwood Mac. Last week they had a guest lecturer: Cameron Crowe.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Nice to see that the FBI is adopting my entire social operating model since college. It’s validating.
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Reposted by Mike Pawlowski
Nicolas Hénin @nicolashenin.net · 17/09/2026
Nice campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council about the declining lifespan of products. Enjoy!
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Reposted by Mike Pawlowski
Ned Raggett @nedraggett.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Okay so @defector.com has had an odd glitch since the site redesign a couple of weeks back where the wrong photo and headline are often put together on the main page and I was going to ask them about fixing it but this just happened and as far as I'm concerned they have to leave it as is.
Screenshot for a Defector podcast episode with the headline "Consider the Emotional Lives of Scallops" only the accompanying photo is a white gormless stubbled red-headed UK singer of recent notoriety giving a flat smile to the camera while wearing a washed out peach top as beige as he is against a flat background. So, actually, probably a scallop anyway.
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Reposted by Mike Pawlowski
Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
My man looks like someone had Grok draw Gavin Newsom
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
States with contested senate races in 48 days!!
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
So, less that 1% of the country.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
ICE Raid
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
If the box is the line between legality and illegality…
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I’m not even a Trekkie and this shit is hilarious.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in years. I’m not even a Trekkie.
web.archive.org
‘The Door Noises Made Us Deaf’: An Oral History Of ‘Star Trek’
In 1964, an Air Force veteran and erstwhile LAPD officer named Gene Roddenberry sold a science fiction pilot script to NBC. Called Star Trek, it envisioned an adventurous, utopian 23rd century where p...
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Martin Short as Albino Character
Alt: Martin Short as Albino Character who Jared Kushner has begun to resemble
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Literally the only reason I put on shorts this morning is so that I can carry my phone around the house easier since my underwear doesn’t have pockets.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
It’s almost like he’s never been a human being before.
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Mike Pawlowski @greenplasticmike.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
The ability to suppress shame is a friggin superpower.
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