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Amy Greenlee

@greenleeish.bsky.social
3.9K followers 218 following 94 posts

Humor for McSweeneys, Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, et al. | Editor of the TV humor publication Pause Button | Creator of The Gospel of Jest: gospelofjest.substack.com

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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The thing I hate about public restrooms is that people are always using them
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A Norwegian (me) reviews Trader Joe's Norwegian Lefse amygreenlee.substack.com/p/trader-joe...
amygreenlee.substack.com
Trader Joe’s Is Making Lefse Now
Here’s what one Norwegian thinks
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Forget your super glue. I've got the goop that holds beans in the bottom of a can.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I have finally acquired and squirreled away enough chapsticks that wherever I reach for one, I often find two
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Walking home from work, I passed a woman who smiled and wished me a "good morning." Reader, the time was 5:18 PM.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Sometimes taking the train into work feels glamorous, and sometimes you can't set your bag down because there's poop on the floor
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The thing about Katie Dippold's early Widow's Bay draft is that it is totally different words that tell the exact same story 😍 drive.google.com/file/d/1Tot6...
drive.google.com
WIDOW'S BAY (12.12.13) By KATIE DIPPOLD (1).pdf
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Give Widow's Bay all the awards. amygreenlee.substack.com/p/everything...
amygreenlee.substack.com
Everything I Hope Will Happen During Tonight’s Emmys
Widow’s Bay or Bust!
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
My kids having no association between baseball and the national anthem because we've never made it to a game on time
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Sometimes I think I would be okay having a permanent cold if it meant my voice could always sound like Susan Sarandon's
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Me handing my child the bagel with avocado and salt they requested: "This is called avocado toast, and it was created by the Millennials. It is a gift to your generation."
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Is your child watching something loud on their tablet? Use it to write humor.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
My youngest consistently says "hewf" instead of "phew" and I hope she never changes
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
So tired of my bladder sounding the alarm every time it's tasked with holding a small amount of liquid. Like, that is literally the job you were hired to do.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
My children call Chuck E. Cheese "Chunky Cheese," and it's honestly the most fitting malapropism I've ever heard.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Trader Joe's finally discovered my culture. Although I hardly expect to see lutefisk in the frozen aisle anytime soon!
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Red Flags in The Odyssey 🚩🚩🚩
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Excited to be back in McSweeney's with some Odyssey humor #Odyssey #ChristopherNolan #redflags
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Can't wait for my new suitcase or shopping cart or rollator
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Reposted by Amy Greenlee
Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
America keeps trying to get me to go to her birthday party and I’m like no girl u need to go to the hospital
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Stop saying you haven't had your coffee yet. You are like this even after coffee.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
My daughter wrote a note for the Tooth Fairy, and the exclamation point is a tooth
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
greenleeish.substack.com/p/hating-hea... Not exactly timely, but we all process things at our own speed...
greenleeish.substack.com
Hating Heathcliff Is Easy
sitting with what the novel has to say about human relationships can be wuthering...
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
you say you're fluent, but I can tell you've never even made it to Amethyst League
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
every old disney movie: hey, wouldn't it be funny if...
drunk dumbodrunk pinocchiodrunk mouse
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
me: what's the french word for doll? also me: hahaha. no seriously. what is it? also me: ok, sure, but how is it pronounced? also me: well, that's unfortunate
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
If Aubrey Plaza was your BFF, you'd already be halfway done knitting her some baby booties ❤️ medium.com/pausebutton/...
medium.com
If Aubrey Plaza Was Your BFF
You would never ask her what it was like to grow up in Delaware
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
feeling too scared to merge. might just drive to fresno instead.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
remember when we could swing on swings without getting terribly dizzy for the rest of the day
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
community is seeing other parents scrambling around the Target at 9:30 pm the night before a holiday
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Back in McSweeney's with some Wuthering Heights red flags 🚩🚩🚩
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
Making a Pro/Con list can help you see that there are, indeed, two options
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
When your mother-in-law teaches classes on bookbinding, your kid ends up with a gorgeous journal for their Sutter's Fort field trip. And coffee-stained pages! ❤️
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
What multi level marketing scheme it will be this time, I wonder
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
If my handwriting makes me look neurotic, it's just because I am.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Ninety percent of in-office interaction is just men asking how I can possibly sit with one leg tucked up in my chair
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
"Among members of Gen Z, the use of a semicolon is considered rude." open.substack.com/pub/chortleb...
open.substack.com
22 Fast Facts About Semicolons
Everything you need to know; plus lots you certainly don't.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE BINGO 🍂 Don't forget to play along! 🍂
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
First time watching Frankenweenie and this might be the best explanation of lightning I've ever heard: youtu.be/WCjpY5oko-E
youtu.be
Frankenweenie Movie CLIP - Lightning (2012) - Tim Burton Animated Movie HD
YouTube video by Rotten Tomatoes Coming Soon
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
❤️ it
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
Nobody: Me, suddenly sing/shouting: "Pulitzer and Hearst, they think we're nothin'. Are we nothin'? No!"
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 28/09/2025
And won't stop asking for it every time we go to Starbucks...
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
A couple walked past me, and all I heard of their conversation was "I'm just saying the psychological profile of someone who would enjoy a show like that is..." And it took everything in me to not catch up to them and be like: What show are you talking about? And can I please join this conversation?
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
First 20 minutes of Task (HBO show) be like "we'll tell a story when we feel like getting around to it, thank you" Started because I was expecting Mare of Easttown S2. Does it ever become Mare of Easttown S2?
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
My daughter accidentally rubbed off some of the paint on her mass produced baby doll's eye, and she brought it to me and asked if I could call the artist who made it and have them repaint it, and this is the sort of world I wished we lived in.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
Can't understate how satisfying it was to see Adult Bobby doing well. #NewKingoftheHill
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 26/07/2025
Second time watching Bottle Rocket = discovering that what previously seemed like a comedic heist film is actually a poignant story about one guy finding his way out of a mental health crisis and into a stabilizing routine only to discover that his best friend is on the opposite trajectory.
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 12/07/2025
Sounds like the only thing they are guilty of is having a good time...
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
Duolingo serving up ESSENTIAL PHRASES over here. 💯
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Amy Greenlee @greenleeish.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
I didn't see it before, but I see it now #lewispullman #thunderbolts
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