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German integration

@germanintegration.com

308 followers 466 following 202 posts

Author of the internet's #1 article on the safety of eating raw pork and guy who ate raw pork. germanintegration.com

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 27/03/2026

Well hell yeah

It's a flan i guess? There's a brown disk in a card box, decorated with a picture of something foamy and strawberry-ey. The brown thing is revealed by a clear cutaway. According to the package, this is called Wiener Boden hell

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 23/03/2026

Who wants some fat foamkiss balls

A jewel case of eggs covered in colorful sprinkles. Dickmann's Dicke Eier, the label says, then: Dicke Schaumkuss Eier. A rabbit with obvious blood-sugar problems stumbles towards us on his back legs, showing us that he has no dick or fat balls

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 22/10/2025

Time change and a week of rain like seasonal depression needs to make an entrance after sleeping in my bathtub all summer

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 19/09/2025

How does one become a person who points at nothing for the news? If ever got to be a person who points at nothing for the news I'd point with like a hot dog

It's a screenshot from German news about opposition to a wind farm. There's a steel-haired woman gesturing at a swampy field where a windmill or some shit is supposed to be built. Who gives a shit, right? Well, she does. She's put on her most serious frown and frowniest puffer jacket for this photo opp and the world had better damn well know that she's terribly scared.

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 04/06/2025

You can see why Elisabeth would be the end of the line

A family grave stone. It lists three names. Peter Fucks, Anna Fucks, and Elisabeth Wiedemer.

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 29/04/2025

Mark Carney isn't a real person. He's an actor named Mark Moses

A black and white photo of a handsome middle-aged man with salt and pepper air and flinty eyes. Mark Carney? Or is it actor Mark Moses' head shot?

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 20/04/2025

Anyone ever fucked with the flowbee?

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 17/04/2025

"I had to enable a new screen-sharing software. This one was called Loom and its logo was a panopticon." 1. it's like these motherfuckers don't even know what dystopian is 2. All tech logos are indeed buttholes

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 28/03/2025

We call it the prostate but whatever

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 26/03/2025

English brain: dick man's dick eggs German brain: fat man's fat balls

A package of Dickmann's Dicke Eier easter candy. They look like eggs covered in sprinkles. There's a wasted looking rabbit

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 01/03/2025

JD Vance looks like a cruise ship artist's vision of a fuckable strawberry

JD Vance: an assembly of barrel shapes teetering around on broom sticks

Michael Godard's stupid vision of a fuckable strawberry. It's just a strawberry with skinny little strawberry arms and legs, but it's laying there seductively holding a flute of champagne. And he put it pointy side down. Like, if he'd put the fat end down at least it would have a butt and hips. But Godard is bad at art. So now it looks like JD Vance

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 25/02/2025

Handy map of places near Berlin to avoid

A map of Brandenburg showing how different areas voted. Red is SPD (social democracy), black is CDU (conservatives), and blue is AfD (fucking nazis). The map is a sea of blue with precious few islands of red and black

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 11/02/2025

My cat's schwanz looks huge in this picture

A fat, black and white piebald cat sits with her tail poking between her back legs

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 31/12/2024

Germans right now and just fucking always

Germans on New Year's eve, Wilkommen 2025. A dumpy middle-aged blond man pees his pants laughing. A younger man with a blonde mullet wearing ski goggles gives him a side hug. A blonde smiles with way too many teeth at a microphone because you need to hear her chomping or whatever. And then there's another blonde looking unreasonably thrilled but at least she's dressed for the weather

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 21/12/2024

The local dildo manufactory sponsors the Berlin hockey team, which rules, but they need to come correct. I propose: 2 minutes for a good time Keep your dick on the ice Putting the d in DEL The dildoking penalty box: get fucked The dildoking zamboner If it fits i sits Beautiful Canadian boys Wrister

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 12/12/2024

The foot clan club from the 1990 ninja turtles movie is the whole reason i moved to berlin. Still looking for sam rockwell and my carton of menthols

The foot clan hide out and secret club from the first Ninja Turtles movie. It's a huge, smokey industrial space with skate ramps, arcade cabinets, and colourful lights. Someone is skateboarding on a rad as shit ramp in the centre of the frame

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 04/12/2024

Nothing but bangers

My spotify wrapped top 5 songs.
1. Album art: a cat with a target on it; Sound To Get Rid Of Stray... by Repellent Frequencies.
2. Album art: a cat with a target on it; Ultrasonic Kitty Repellent by Repellent Frequencies.
3. Album art: half a woman's face, she's pointing at her ear with a trippy swirl focused next to her head; 2000 Hertz Ultrasound... by Deep Heart Productions.
4. Album art: a cat with a target on it; Cat Repellent 8 Hz by Repellent Frequencies.
5. Album art: a cat with a target on it; Anti Cat Repellent by Repellent Frequencies.

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German integration @germanintegration.com · 25/11/2024

This is why Europeans are so thin

Trueman's american style hot dog, made in Germany. Six wieners in a jar plus one free

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