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George Bass

@georgebas5.bsky.social
300 followers 281 following 1.3K posts

Security guard. Bouncer. Sometimes write for @theguardian.com @washingtonpost.com @timeshighered.bsky.social @financialtimes.com @newscientist.com Mostly at work opening doors and stopping fights.

PostsRepliesMedia
George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Glad Channel 4 are showing Handcuffed and Celebrity Handcuffed. But what about It’s a Royal Handcuff? - The King and the Duchess of Sussex - Two Princes (that’s what I said now) - Andrew Windsor and the FBI
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Good effort. As a Kent writer I can tell you that will pay for the best part of a starter in Whitstable.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Amazing shots (especially Bass Burton ales 😎)
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Keep it friendly. No crowd-surfing 👍🏻
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The day when all the UKIP leaflets come out is known as flying rant day.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
In security radio punctuation, this episode was — — • • — • • •— —.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Very kind of @kobobooks.bsky.social to list What the Bouncer Saw as one of their new and hot biographies. Somehow I’m up the front with heavyweights like the moreish crack adventures of @thatmattkingfella.bsky.social. I wonder what we’ve got in common … www.kobo.com/ie/en/list/n...
kobo.com
Rakuten Kobo
New & Hot in Biography and Memoir. Choose from millions of great eBooks at Rakuten Kobo. See reviews, enjoy a free preview and start reading in seconds! Read More with Rakuten Kobo.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Don’t tear yourself up for matching the furniture, Stephen. Doing security means every day I clock on dressed as a black granite worktop.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is the fun run still going ahead?
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Thanks very much, Michael. Was great fun meeting up. If you ever feel like doing some method acting for your bouncer film role, I’ve got a spare big black jacket …
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Thank you so much Vanessa. Let me know when you need a high-viz for policing Green Man 🚨
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
For anyone who likes their interviews broadcast old-school style: I’m on BBC Radio 4 tonight at 8pm talking to @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social about violent jobs, secret codes and how I’d chuck Michael out of a nightclub. No national treasures were harmed in the making of this programme.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
About to jet off on holiday and worried you may need more precautions than just sun screen and a voltage adapter? I wrote about first aid on the move for @nytimes.com based on 20 years of responding to injuries: www.nytimes.com/2026/09/25/t...
nytimes.com
What to Pack in Your Travel First-Aid Kit
A bouncer and security guard, accustomed to responding to fights, fires and accidents, recommends a range of useful first-aid items for a variety of travelers.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My chat with @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social is now available on BBC Sounds. My free gift was this evidence bag when BBC security impounded my work torch (offer sadly unavailable if you buy my book): www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The ‘90s code you never want to hear is Mr Blobby to reception.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
If your name’s not down … ✋🏻
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Ever been on a train or a tube platform and heard a call for Mr Sands over the PA system? To find out what it means, tune into BBC Radio 4 at 3:30 to hear me being interviewed by @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social. We get to talk about codes and keeping people safe: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...
bbc.co.uk
BBC Radio 4 - Word of Mouth, Bouncer George Bass on de-escalating conflict
Michael Rosen talks to a security guard who says that words are his riot shield in his job
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Fingers crossed it will be worth the wait.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Was a real treat recording this. My verbal jiu-jitsu skills were lost on the BBC door team who confiscated my work torch before they let me in. No hard feelings: job well done.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Got my first AI write-up: ‘A gripping tale of intrigue set in the world of nightlife, where secrets lurk in the shadows & danger is always a heartbeat away. Follow the story of a bouncer who witnesses more than he bargained for …’ Think they mean the bit where I’m crawling through a loft in my pants
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
At work today but yesterday I got to go to the BBC and talk to @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social. What a gent. You can hear us chat about dance floors, walkie-talkies and picking up people who’ve had too much dizzy water on 24th September at 3:30pm. Or anytime afterwards on BBC Sounds.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
‘90s blockbusters foresaw everything: Terminator 2 = runaway AI Jurassic Park = billionaire island playgrounds Toy Story = gizmo addiction Twister = super El Niño Full Monty = OnlyFans Am shitting myself for when Armageddon and Godzilla pay off.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Finished the new @irvinewelsh.bsky.social which looks at mass shootings and dance tunes. Glad my security job is in the UK and not the States. But next time I’m on shift and there’s a DJ battle, anyone trying to sneak in a dodgy white box and pass it off as a bass bin is getting taken to the floor.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My publisher got him to blurb my book (a diary about getting by on modest wages). Maybe he thought my hourly rate was a typo.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
On my shift we call them the Tommotubbies.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
As someone who works outside I have to point out that a lot of the blokes doorstepping the Mail were in snoods and ski masks, not balaclavas. A small but important point, a bit like mixing up vests with wifebeaters.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Really generous of the bloke who runs Yo! Sushi to announce he’s into Christian Nationalism. The conveyor belts will make it easy to spread his free fish between 5,000 customers.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Bouncer’s tip: put on black uniform and infiltrate crowd Produce maracas Rattle in 4/4 rhythm Sound qualifies as succession of repetitive beats Everyone arrested as per Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Stick dog in corner of front room with chew toy (non-squeak). Clear six feet of floor space. Start a timer for 45 minutes and cue up your favourite playlist: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
theguardian.com
No gym fees, no fancy equipment: it’s the skint bouncer’s guide to fitness!
Forget treadmills, rowing machines and air-conditioned exercise suites: you can get in shape with a staircase, a chair and fridge. Take it from a man who can’t afford to throw money around
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
First aid advice: cue up Cool Runnings on max volume.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
He wants Iceland now as well? I hope he knows it isn’t tropical and doesn’t come with palm trees, gagging orders and a financiers-only hot tub.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
If you press it on this column I wrote for them you have to drop and give me a like: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
theguardian.com
No gym fees, no fancy equipment: it’s the skint bouncer’s guide to fitness!
Forget treadmills, rowing machines and air-conditioned exercise suites: you can get in shape with a staircase, a chair and fridge. Take it from a man who can’t afford to throw money around
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
What the Bouncer Saw is still being listed as new by @littlebrown.bsky.social - very honoured. And big thanks to whoever ranked it as one of the best books to feature shoes on @thestorygraph.com. To any fetishists who’ve bought a copy expecting foot porn: sorry for all the descriptions of work boots
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Security guard based in Kent who has to wear black for the job. Often get told that I look unusual. If seeing a load of blokes dressed in full Milk Tray is non-disruptive or a peaceful protest, I’d hate to see what a mob or a gang attack looks like.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Looking forward to talking with @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social on BBC Radio 4’s Word of Mouth about walkie-talkies and trying to stop drunk people punching you/each other/wheelie bins: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...
bbc.co.uk
BBC Radio 4 - Word of Mouth, Bouncer George Bass on using words to de-escalate conflict
Michael Rosen talks to a door supervisor about his job, secret codes and walkie-talkies.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Plot twist: the donations are all coming over via mega-dinghy.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
@mrjamesob.bsky.social Remember in 2014 when Nigel explained that MEPs have auditors to make sure they spend money ‘in accordance with the rules’? I think he lost their number.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Very tight release: not a second of its 12 minutes is wasted. You can zone out in less than the time it takes you to drink a brew.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Happy Bank Holiday to anyone not at work and thanks @theguardian.com for making my book a featured memoir, and for putting me near to Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears. There are enough dictator biographies around us to prove that everybody actually does want to rule the world. shorturl.at/wSvls
guardianbookshop.com
What The Bouncer Saw
A better place to buy your books. Support independent journalism with everything you buy. Free UK P&P on online orders over £25
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
That’s incredibly kind of you. Thanks so much 👍🏻
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I got lucky: I’d bandaged my local bookshop manager after he stabbed himself trying to open a pallet. He very kindly paid me back in posters.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Entitled Goose Game.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
47 Borders = Gardening 31 Inventions = Sci-Fi/Fantasy
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
When I saw mine in the local Waterstones I put one in Manga (cover art passed the test) and one on the Mr Men rack (same again).
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
‘Reality TV show in which fallen royals house-share a Willerby Meridian Lodge model caravan at Sandringham as currently occupied by Andrew. Working title: Sweatbox.’
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
My insider tip for boosting book sales: after publication, make sure it’s also your job to run after anyone who’s nicked a copy. www.hachette.co.uk/titles/georg...
hachette.co.uk
What The Bouncer Saw
'Undoubtedly one of the most refreshing and vital books about England I have read in years' AMOL RAJAN 'A voice too rarely heard that relates to the hard ...
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Love the idea of an undetectable green. The Riddler is going to have a field day with this.
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
The greatest kids’ TV of all time isn’t a show: it’s the link when CBBC showed George’s Marvellous Medicine, and Rik Mayall told viewers ‘Don’t give homemade potions to your grannies. It’s a waste of poison. Save it for your teachers.’
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Reposted by George Bass
Vanessa Pearce @nesky999.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Last shift completed, unfortunately it was the “sorry you can’t cut through here any more” fortunately had read @georgebas5.bsky.social ‘s excellent bible on dealing with hungover grumps :) Absolutely cracking year
A last look at the beautiful Green Man Festival site on the Glanusk Estate
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George Bass @georgebas5.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Looking forward to the cost of living tour and being told where I’ve gone wrong spending half an hour’s wages on 2kg of rice.
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