iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

me: "hah ahffeh oo eeahh ehh ahohahh oah ooh uhhee" dentist (mid-dilling): "I'm sorry, what was that?" me: "how often do people make appointments for two-thirty?" dentist: *increases speed on drill*

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Nobody should be allowed to delete posts, they should only be able to post this if a mistake is made

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Well considering airports are man’s hubris, I’d hope they feel inferior

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I’ve been asking people on dating apps to “send noods” for years now. Not once have I received any noodles! Just pictures of naked people. Gross!

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

It would be funny if the member of Staind wasn’t Aaron Lewis

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Me seeing Jesus do a Christ Air during the half pipe event

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Chipotle needs to stay in their own lane. Their new pollo asado is awful, and the chili like chips answer the age-old question “what if Doritos actually sucked?” Just play the hits, stop trying new stuff

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Delta Dental: “thanks for paying your bill” Me: “thanks for helping me not go broke from the scam of dentistry”

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

it’s not me. don’t put it out there that I’m the guy

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

some freak out there is deriving pleasure from getting voted off

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Moron (noun) (mo ron) 1. A foolish or stupid person 2. Someone who willingly pays for the ParkMobile subscription

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Somewhere in this awful country, a youth pastor is writing a sermon about how Jesus mogged the grave

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Country music 20 years ago: America is cool and badass, don’t fuck with us Country music now: America is great, makes me want to suck a bald eagle’s dick

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are an interesting band because the band is comprised of three musicians who are legitimately some of the best to ever do it and also Anthony Kiedis

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

What’s crazy to me is Stormy Daniels isn’t even a good porn name Taco Bell drive thru speaker: “are you checking in with your app to earn rewards points?”

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Reposted by Garrett Pierce

Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 09/12/2025

Me: I think everyone should be free to enjoy the things they like. People are too mean about other people enjoying things. Someone: I like anime Me: go fuck yourself

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Excited to announce that I’ve begun to identify as a postmodern writer. To me, this means I am going to start posting absolute nonsense and telling people they don’t get it whenever I am questioned

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

You’d think medical facility waiting rooms are legally required to play the worst music in history

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

My Alex Jones impression, used as a veiled commentary on our globalized food supply chain, was not well-received among patrons of my local grocery store’s bread aisle

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Job market so bad they’re requiring 10 years of experience for an entry-level henchman

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Saw a guy walking out of The Odyssey today with a printed copy of The Odyssey under his arm, like he was going to a concert and wanted the band to sign his CD

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

In a world with so many fucked up crimes, it’s nice to see a headline about someone stealing copper wire. Timeless, nothing beats the classics

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

It's like how those Wonder food halls you see everywhere now make you wonder about how they stay in business

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Reposted by Garrett Pierce

J. Jangle, Esq. @orderforjordan.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Pursuant to Title 10 of the US Poster’s Code § 200b, this account has been seized by the US Department of Homeland Security for making too many surreal, abstract, and generally unfunny posts. Any interactions shall henceforth be legal, albeit showing a questionable sense of humor.

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

"Your email may have found me well, but my response to your email is leaving me in agony"

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

if you fucking morons don’t shut the fuck up about fucking mercury being in fucking retrograde i am going to fuckin go all scorpio on your ass or whatever the fuck you people believe in

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Jimothy looks like if Sonic The Hedgehog got addicted to cocaine because he thought it would make him faster

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

What’s wild about Jimothy going viral is that Jimothy has no idea he’s going viral or even what going viral means

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Is skillet not gendered? I thought it was

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

“nah we’re actually going to make them cost 50 bucks and call the brand Owala”

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

gender neutral, so in this case señor chungus would be more appropriate

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

idk man we had it right with sippy cups

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

how cooked am I that people in my life are starting to refer to 9/11 as one of my special interests

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

gf just said “something happened in the book I’m reading that I think applies to your special interests” and then proceeded to tell me how the book she’s reading has events taking place around 9/11 much to consider

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Garrett Pierce @garrettfpierce.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

the genies? can they get married? is there a legal framework for such unions?

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