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Moist Owlet (Flushable)

@g-sharp-major.bsky.social

1.9K followers 327 following 54K posts

Husband to an adorable Bride, Father to a witty child, Owner of the worst puns and the best pets. Also Quite Bad At Chess.

Posts Replies Media

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Image of the Jesse WTF Are You Talking About meme, but captioned with “Jesse, ¿de qué carajo estás hablando?”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

One more! Sorry I didn’t get a photo of the somaek, but that’s a fabulous drink.

Photo of more of my evening meal at BaekGa Korean Kitchen in Denver.

A big bowl of japchae.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

YOOOOOO…

Photo of my evening meal at BaekGa Korean Kitchen in Denver.

Banchan, bulgogi kimbap, and tteokbokki.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Photo of some large mountain in Colorado. I don’t know which one.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Image of the classic purple “Book It!” button, but edited to read “Bookie It!”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Image of the character Judge Haller (actor Fred Gwynne) in the film MY COUSIN VINNY (1992), captioned with “Did you say ‘Jutes’?”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

This is what I mean when I say we need to reclaim “bonk” for non-horny purposes:

Screenshot of a silly person being both pedantic and incorrect.

Would not surprise me if it’s performance art.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Looking good so far. Solid work for the first game of the season, against a division rival on their home ice. #NHL #Hockey #Kraken #SeattleKraken #SeaKraken

Seattle Kraken 3, Calgary Flames 0, End of the 2nd Period.

Photo shows Seattle Goalie Joey Daccord saving a shot from Calgary Winger Samuel Honzek.

Lifted from one of the Kraken’s other social media pages.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Adorable kid-friendly font generator with colors and blocks that reads “JD Vance’s couch”

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Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I accept this with gratitude and humility.

Image of Bugs Bunny in a red royal robe, holding a golden sceptre, and wearing a crown.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

He kinda did! Supposedly he was using this photo of Arnold as a reference, and he completely doofed the perspective:

Photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger posing during his professional bodybuilding days, and an image of the classic Rob Liefeld barrel-chested Captain America cover art.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

“My angles are many My sides are not few I’m The Dodecahedron Who are you?”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

It’s true.

Renaissance Man Looking Disgusted Meme.

Same, Renaissance Man.

Same.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Awkward-looking photograph of our Big Wet President.

His eyes are squinting like he’s mocking Xi Jinping’s face.

Awkward-looking zoomed-in photograph of our Big Wet President’s chin.

It does not look like healthy skin.

Awkward-looking zoomed-in photograph of our Big Wet President’s chin, but rotated about 45° counter-clockwise.

It still does not look like healthy skin, but a shape emerges from the mess…?

Awkward-looking zoomed-in photograph of our Big Wet President’s chin, still rotated about 45° counter-clockwise.

The bumps and folds and shadows of his chin looked like the Renaissance Guy Squinting Meme (which has been superimposed on the Presidential Mandible.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Image of Tim the Enchanter (actor John Cleese) from the film MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975), captioned with “There are some who call me… ‘Moth’”.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

my two brains:

Image of the classic animated characters Pinky & The Brain.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

“There are dozens of us! Dozens!”

Photo looking down at a Doofy Orange Adolescent Cat perched on my shoulder. He’s looking down at the floor. I’m looking into the camera.

Photo of a Large Adult Tabby cat asleep on a couch. His head is in the crook of my elbow, and his paws are wrapped around my arm.

My cheek and moustache are visible in the corner.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Of course it’s made up. Norfolk and Suffolk do not share a border. Portsmouth and Chesapeake are between them.

Google Maps screenshot showing Norfolk, VA within the greater Tidewater area.

Yes, I know that OP is talking about Norfolk and Suffolk in England. That’s the joke.

Google Maps screenshot showing Suffolk, VA within the greater Tidewater area.

Yes, I know that OP is talking about Norfolk and Suffolk in England. That’s the joke.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Screenshot of a funny exchange.

The original poster’s name, PFP, and handle have been redacted.

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Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

“I need fuel.”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I don’t object to being “in the center”, but I do object to the description of why. www.searchlightinstitute.org/political-ne...

Image of “The Center Square” result from a political quiz.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This one! The Grandeur EV!

Four-panel photo of the Hyundai Grandeur EV concept car. It’s a boxy 80s-inspired design, but packed with modern accoutrements inside.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

VOLUME UP SO YOU CAN HEAR HIM PURRING IN HIS SLEEP

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

When your spouse knows you perfectly, you find little unexpected surprises everywhere:

Photo of a bottle of body wash on a shower shelf.

It’s “Bluey”-themed body wash.

It’s adorable and perfect, but I’m mildly concerned what it will smell like.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Photos from my Offspring on I-40W, leaving the OKC area, headed to Santa Fe.

Photo of the Oklahoma plains, stretching to the horizon, with a few wind turbines in view.

There’s is still some glow in the sky as the sun rises.

Photo of the Oklahoma plains, stretching to the horizon, with a fence running along the fields next to the highway.

There’s is still some glow and swirly clouds in the sky as the sun rises.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I think the producers at “Ted Lasso” nailed it:

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Image of the character Colonel Sandurz (actor George Wyner) from the film SPACEBALLS (1987).

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Image of the character Pom Pom from the children’s show “Bluey” captioned with “Fix your hearts or die”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Simpsons Nuts & Gum Meme, but the can is captioned “Authoritarianism and Pogs, Together At Last!”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Potato Where’s The Soil Meme Image, but the potato is labeled “pr0nbots” and the caption reads “where’s the fwcking eyeballs”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Live-Action Cheshire Cat Meme image captioned “It’s always Friday here…”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

I mean, it’s not TOO far off I guess…

Image of the dialect quiz results map showing my dialect being most similar to that of Delaware.

Even tho I’m actually from southeastern Virginia.

Image of the dialect quiz results saying I’m most similar to Washington DC, Baltimore MD, and Charlotte NC.

It also says I’m least similar to Minneapolis MN, Seattle WA, and Portland OR.

Image of the dialect quiz results describing which words “gave me away”. They include my pronunciation of “pecan”, my understanding of “sneakers”, and my understanding of “soda”.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

My Bride has all the Good Photos, but here’s The Moment when he put her ring on:

Photo of two young people exchanging wedding rings in a courtroom.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

You know who else was about the right age in 1999?

Image of Henry Cavill in the film THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (2002).

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Post something random or you'll have an awful September.

Meme image of an early-twentieth-century construction crane, with a man climbing on an extended arm of it.

The image is devoid of color, and is captioned “Be ashamed of your feet”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Strong Chicken Boo Energy

Image of the Animaniacs character Chicken Boo, dressed in a baseball uniform.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Image of the “Godzilla vs Bees” cartoon from The Oatmeal, but instead of bees, Godzilla is afraid of isopods.

Godzilla retreats back into the ocean, making a rude hand gesture (middle fingers), saying “NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

If you see this post a blonde.

Image of a Blondie cookie/bar/dessert thingy.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Also we got McD’s on the way home and couldn’t resist the Hello Kitty x Godzilla Happy Meal. We got My Melody as Mothra:

Photo of a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy.

A small figure of the Sanrio character My Melody dressed as Mothra from the Godzilla franchise.

It’s actually adorable.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Grim Reaper Claw Machine Meme captioned with “Dolly Parton? Tim Curry? Yayoi Kusama? Is Donald Trump even in this thing?”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

I’m sorry for dumping my first-world problem on the Skyline last night. And I appreciate everyone’s sympathies. But it was a lovely night for Bengals football!

Photograph of Paycor Stadium, the home of your Cincinnati Bengals.

Taken from near the corner of the end zone.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

CINCINNATI WE ARE IN YOU

Photo looking out from a hotel window over the Ohio River into Covington, KY from the Cincinnati side.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Why does he always do the Nurse Joker flappy-arm gesture?

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

“Impetuous”

Image of the character Michaleen Oge Flynn (actor Barry Fitzgerald) in the film THE QUIET MAN (1952).

He is looking over his shoulder at the destroyed marriage bed of two newlyweds. Unbeknownst to him, the bed collapsed due to a non-conjugal accident.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Hmm…

Screenshot of Google’s response when asked to write a tweet in the style of me.

It reads as follows:

🚨 2026 HOBBIES & MEDIA 🚨
This post is the start of a thread to track my miniature painting, board games, and being quite bad at chess.

So basically, a lot of my pinned skeet plus a dash of my bio.

Weak sauce, Google.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

it just like me fr?

Image of a Cyanide & Happiness webcomic which (in the original) the character receives a smartphone notification of “Sexy Singles in your area!” They look around, see no one, look down, then realize “I’M the Sexy Single!”

This has been edited so the phone notification is “Undiagnosed Neurodivergent People” in your area, and the realization is “I’M the Undiagnosed Neurodivergent Person!”

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I mean…

Photo of a man’s balding pate, dripping with sweat.

Also, my eyelashes? They’re real. And they’re spectacular.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

When the pepper paste in your ramen hit just right…

Photo of a man’s balding pate, dripping with sweat.

Moist Owlet (Flushable) @g-sharp-major.bsky.social · 15/08/2026