iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The Grey Wardens stand behind the Blightlines.

081

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

This accursed tome speaks lies in the name of the Grey Wardens. It must be destroyed.

140

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I knew they were up to no good! Clear proof they are canoodling!

180

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Tens, with frowns?? What game are you playing Magister when you treat the Darkspawn as a joke. Try thousands of Darkspawn I have slain with my sword. Try thousands of lives saved by the Grey Warden. Try to compare, and fall short.

static.klipy.com

Macho Testosterone Flex

ALT: Macho Testosterone Flex

130

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

When in doubt, ask yourself, "WWTGWD?" What would the Grey Wardens do? 🛡️

3112

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

IMPORTANT MESSAGE: FROM the real First Warden and Supreme Commander. It turns out that my "message board account" was hacked by an Enemy of the Wardens, who made claims and statements regarding the Venatori and Inquisition that reflected poorly on my character. We are investigating. That is all.

270

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Chat, is it acceptable to negotiate with the Venatori in The Big 9:2026 Dragon Age?

040

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Agreed. I accept the title instead. I am Jowin Glastrum, Herald of Andraste, First Warden, and Supreme Commander of the Blight. My first decree is that Rook is a heretic and should be considered Enemy #1 of the Chantry.

291

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Ah, the Venatori love both Rook AND Cullen. As the Junior Wardens would say, that's some pipin' hot tea ☕

120

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

ᗅ⌊𝙸ડͲᗅ𝙸Ʀ 🗡🛡 @alistairthecheesy.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

*takes out another one of those new "darkspawn bots" with his sword* DOWN YOU GO!!! 😤🗡💪

162

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

When I do not speak of Rook, you know it is because I loathe the False Warden. When @venatori4life.bsky.social does not speak of Rook, it is because they are in love with the enemy. It is known.

081

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

...I just know Alistair is responsible for this.

130

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Alas, I can confirm what we've all feared. An Archbot is among us. The Seventh Blight has begun.

380

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Bots are like Darkspawn. You can count on the Grey Wardens to face this dastardly foe!

085

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

I mogged Elgar'nan...after asking my Jr. Grey Wardens what it means to "mog" someone. #bald #mustache #TheMoggingWardens #TheGreyMoggers #WardenduranceProtein

120

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Overheard a Jr. Grey Warden say, "There's not many fathers among the Wardens, but there are plenty of daddies." Perhaps we should invest in a better education. I had to explain to the poor soldier that fathers and dads are synonyms. 👴 Both benefit from WARDENDURANCE PROTEIN 🛡️

040

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Seven people want Rook dead. They'd settle for putting turnips in the fireplace, but they're afraid she'd sing about it.

021

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to have cold footsies. Fate may decree that you neglect to mention that you're the king's bastard now rather than later.

021

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Powered by Wardendurance Protein. 💪 Use Code Venatori for 66% off your first order! 💲 Stop smelling Rook, put down your spellbooks, pick up your shield, and face the Blight as Grey Wardens! 🛡️ #JustWardenThings

161

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

Whomstsoever convinced me, the illustrious First Warden, to be at the Gym at 3am and do cardio at 4am shall be sent into the Deep Roads to face Darkspawn for the rest of their days posthaste. #WardenduranceProtein #MondayThoughts #gymbros #exilerook

020

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

ᗅ⌊𝙸ડͲᗅ𝙸Ʀ 🗡🛡 @alistairthecheesy.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

Ugh... geese... one of the Maker's most foul creations...

031

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

ᗅ⌊𝙸ડͲᗅ𝙸Ʀ 🗡🛡 @alistairthecheesy.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

*wakes up sweating from a nightmare about blighted geese* GAHHHHH!!!!!!!

141

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

A single goose can cause as much damage to a civilian population as 100 Darkspawn. They must be defeated. #TheMoreYouKnow #ReadingRainbow #DOWNWITHTHEHONK

1112

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

ATTENTION: Effective Immediately, The Grey Wardens are rebranding to THE GREY WARDENS. We'll stand against the Blight that wreaks havoc against Thedas. We'll also stand against EVIL INCARNATE aka GEESE!!!! #DOWNWITHTHEHONK

190

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

👀👀👀 (Psst, use code AND3RS for 50% off your next order of Wardendurance Protein!)

1123

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

Sometimes...it's just...hard, y'know? 🪨🚶‍♂️ Leading the Wardens, fighting the Blight...🛡️ I just...wanted to keep Thedas safe. 💜 Then the Walls fell 🏰 I did what any leader must...I purchased WARDENDURANCE PROTEIN, 45G OF PROTEIN AND 90G OF LYRIUM FOR JUST 100 CALORIES! #BUYNOW#SUPPORTAWARDEN

293

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

Tundra Foot @tundrafoot.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

I heard Glastrum was shredded. I heard Glastrum has a six pack.

031

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

~No one's slick as Glastrum~ ~No one's quick as Glastrum~ ~No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Glastrum~

2121

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Congratulations, my dear friends. It seems, perhaps, mayhaps even likely, that the Grey Wardens' nomination was, hmm, lost in the Fademail 📪☹️

150

Reposted by Jowin Glastrum

rook 🦇 blues clues @rookwind.com · 16/04/2026

whatever it takes* *except genAI

0122

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

Blood magic to end the Blight? Acceptable. 🩸 Betrayal of allies, pacts with demons, night unspeakable acts to end the Blight? Acceptable. 👹 There's almost nothing the Wardens would not do to end the Blight.🛡️ But GenAI? We wouldn't do that. 👎

3182

Jowin Glastrum @firstgreywarden.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

As the young fledgling Wardens would say these days, ahem, "FACTS."

152