Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 04/10/2026You know who also wanted $5,000 free from the government?... The Nazis, I assume.... They're doing everything else the same. 001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Whoooooooa.static.klipy.comPatrick Star Shocked in Spongebob SquarepantsALT: Patrick Star Shocked in Spongebob Squarepants 030
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Once a Democrat is President, Kamala voters should file a class action lawsuit against the federal government for allowing Trump to assume the office in violation of the Constitution. Then, the Department of Justice should settle the case for $1 billion each, since that's how it's done now. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026This is how you know Richard Nixon is, somehow, also in the Epstein files 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Using the present tense for the United States of America implies it still exists. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Just to prove he want wrong, Trump has renamed it the Gulf of Unites. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Elon Musk is what happens when mermaid corpses are left to decompose in the air. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Senator Schmitt: Are you and your wife stuck in a dull, suburban marriage, unaware that you are each assassins working for competing agencies, leading to you trying to kill each other. Jack Smith: No, that was Mr. & Mrs... Wait, what? (ducks as a bullet narrowly misses his head) 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026As a community service, I think society would benefit greatly if, instead of going straight to college or work upon highschool graduation, American men were required to serve two years in jail. 020
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I miss the days when you wanted both teams to lose because of the standings, not because the players were horrible people. 001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I found adding a little dish soap always helped with our slip 'n slide. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026This is a funny way for republicans to find out maybe they should have actually cared about women's sports. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Honestly, the Hawks could use Caitlyn Clark. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026And guides on how to make money are like, become a cheese shredder. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026America was great when prison wasn't what we did with traitors. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026We are now in the Parks and Rec phase of our transition to Idiocracy. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026You have to give Senator Schmitt some leniency. He didn't find out women's basketball was a thing until NBA rejects tried to join. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I'm looking forward to the sequel Senator Schmitt vs Acme. 020
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Until Democrats are leading by 100%, it's not enough. The republican domestic terrorist organization needs to go away. Only then can America move forward. 011
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Does anyone know how Jeffries and Schumer feel about Trump breaking the law? I honestly haven't heard. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026When he put on those slim jeans, they squeezed all his fat into his top half like a tube of toothpaste filling a sausage casing. 1590
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I wish I had the confidence of someone never held accountable for anything to just openly admit my corruption like it's your fault for not thinking it was perfectly fine. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I eat meat, but so the same thing. Later, everyone is so impressed with how far they've come with tofu, when they see me eating a steak. 030
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026RFK jr looks like a penis opened the Ark. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Mitch McConnell isn't even fit to stand trial. But everyone who fraudulently voted in his name is. Arrest them all, down to the driver who took him to the Capitol. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026SPORTS: Vikings Trade 4th Round Pick Back To Giants For New Water-cooler.nbcsports.comVikings GM Nolan Teasley: J.J. McCarthy trade was the best decision for the VikingsNolan Teasley was not the Vikings' General Manager who drafted J.J. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Maybe they could have just made him cover it up, so no one could see it. If he still refuses to cover his eye black, make him cover his whole head with something while he's on the field. Like the whole thing. Just wrap it up! That'll show him, and no one would ever see it.static.klipy.comDiabolical CommunityALT: Diabolical Community 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I'm sorry you had to go through so much sex. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026There's nothing in the world that a little prey in your belly doesn't improve. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026If you haven't heard Jeffries or Schumer attack Trump and the Republicans for illegally using tax dollars for campaign ads, I just wanted to let you know, it's because they're pathetically weak leaders. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026You can call them the Commanders, but they'll always be the Washington Football Team to me. GO FOOTBALL TEAM! 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I hope my fellow humans can take comfort that Meerkat Manor being the pinnacle of our society is nothing to be ashamed of. I just hope the alien archaeologists think so too. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I work at a public school, and I can't speak to their repair work, but they handle all our alterations. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I wish world leaders would stop taking advantage of our toddler. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I show up to interviews on a polo pony, so they know I'm better than them. 001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Baby got back!static.klipy.comSexy CurveAlt: Sam Darnold returning from injury 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Putin is just renting Trump out now. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026You know who's really irresponsible when it comes to moms raising kids alone... the moms. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I'm no football guy, but that actually sounds harder. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026It's your texture that's unappealing? 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Agh! I've been wearing them backwards! 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026So now our prisons are paying for IVF treatment? Where will it end? 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026That's one way to get the media to give up. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Fate whispers to the Macklemore, "You cannot withstand the storm." The Macklemore whispers back, "I am the nor'easter." 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Uhh, I asked for a wakeup call 10 years ago.static.klipy.comDuh Well Reaction MemeAlt: Duh Well Reaction Meme 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026republicans have insecurity details. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Fuckin' Antifa.static.klipy.comNormandy Ww2Alt: The woke left destroying comedy 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026You know Trump isn't racist, because he wants to own white people too. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Trump has declared shovels illegal, so they can't dig a new underground railroad when he brings slavery back. The line between the Confederacy, Nazis and Trump is a dot. 000