Sign in

Absurd Existentialist

@existentialistgod.bsky.social
733 followers 889 following 3.8K posts

You may not believe in purpose, but purpose believes in you. As an existentialist, it's against my religion to recognize anything that works against the existence of humanity as human. You should consider joining us.

PostsRepliesMedia
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I bet he will.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You know who also wanted $5,000 free from the government?... The Nazis, I assume.... They're doing everything else the same.
001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Whoooooooa.
static.klipy.com
Patrick Star Shocked in Spongebob Squarepants
ALT: Patrick Star Shocked in Spongebob Squarepants
030
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Once a Democrat is President, Kamala voters should file a class action lawsuit against the federal government for allowing Trump to assume the office in violation of the Constitution. Then, the Department of Justice should settle the case for $1 billion each, since that's how it's done now.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This is how you know Richard Nixon is, somehow, also in the Epstein files
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Using the present tense for the United States of America implies it still exists.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Just to prove he want wrong, Trump has renamed it the Gulf of Unites.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Elon Musk is what happens when mermaid corpses are left to decompose in the air.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Senator Schmitt: Are you and your wife stuck in a dull, suburban marriage, unaware that you are each assassins working for competing agencies, leading to you trying to kill each other. Jack Smith: No, that was Mr. & Mrs... Wait, what? (ducks as a bullet narrowly misses his head)
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
As a community service, I think society would benefit greatly if, instead of going straight to college or work upon highschool graduation, American men were required to serve two years in jail.
020
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I miss the days when you wanted both teams to lose because of the standings, not because the players were horrible people.
001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I found adding a little dish soap always helped with our slip 'n slide.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is a funny way for republicans to find out maybe they should have actually cared about women's sports.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Honestly, the Hawks could use Caitlyn Clark.
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
And guides on how to make money are like, become a cheese shredder.
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
America was great when prison wasn't what we did with traitors.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
We are now in the Parks and Rec phase of our transition to Idiocracy.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You have to give Senator Schmitt some leniency. He didn't find out women's basketball was a thing until NBA rejects tried to join.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm looking forward to the sequel Senator Schmitt vs Acme.
020
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Until Democrats are leading by 100%, it's not enough. The republican domestic terrorist organization needs to go away. Only then can America move forward.
011
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Does anyone know how Jeffries and Schumer feel about Trump breaking the law? I honestly haven't heard.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
When he put on those slim jeans, they squeezed all his fat into his top half like a tube of toothpaste filling a sausage casing.
1590
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I wish I had the confidence of someone never held accountable for anything to just openly admit my corruption like it's your fault for not thinking it was perfectly fine.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I eat meat, but so the same thing. Later, everyone is so impressed with how far they've come with tofu, when they see me eating a steak.
030
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
RFK jr looks like a penis opened the Ark.
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Mitch McConnell isn't even fit to stand trial. But everyone who fraudulently voted in his name is. Arrest them all, down to the driver who took him to the Capitol.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
SPORTS: Vikings Trade 4th Round Pick Back To Giants For New Water-cooler.
nbcsports.com
Vikings GM Nolan Teasley: J.J. McCarthy trade was the best decision for the Vikings
Nolan Teasley was not the Vikings' General Manager who drafted J.J.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Maybe they could have just made him cover it up, so no one could see it. If he still refuses to cover his eye black, make him cover his whole head with something while he's on the field. Like the whole thing. Just wrap it up! That'll show him, and no one would ever see it.
static.klipy.com
Diabolical Community
ALT: Diabolical Community
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I'm sorry you had to go through so much sex.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
There's nothing in the world that a little prey in your belly doesn't improve.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If you haven't heard Jeffries or Schumer attack Trump and the Republicans for illegally using tax dollars for campaign ads, I just wanted to let you know, it's because they're pathetically weak leaders.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
You can call them the Commanders, but they'll always be the Washington Football Team to me. GO FOOTBALL TEAM!
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I hope my fellow humans can take comfort that Meerkat Manor being the pinnacle of our society is nothing to be ashamed of. I just hope the alien archaeologists think so too.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I work at a public school, and I can't speak to their repair work, but they handle all our alterations.
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I wish world leaders would stop taking advantage of our toddler.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I show up to interviews on a polo pony, so they know I'm better than them.
001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Baby got back!
static.klipy.com
Sexy Curve
Alt: Sam Darnold returning from injury
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Putin is just renting Trump out now.
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
You know who's really irresponsible when it comes to moms raising kids alone... the moms.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I'm no football guy, but that actually sounds harder.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
It's your texture that's unappealing?
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Agh! I've been wearing them backwards!
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
So now our prisons are paying for IVF treatment? Where will it end?
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
That's one way to get the media to give up.
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fate whispers to the Macklemore, "You cannot withstand the storm." The Macklemore whispers back, "I am the nor'easter."
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Uhh, I asked for a wakeup call 10 years ago.
static.klipy.com
Duh Well Reaction Meme
Alt: Duh Well Reaction Meme
010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
republicans have insecurity details.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuckin' Antifa.
static.klipy.com
Normandy Ww2
Alt: The woke left destroying comedy
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
You know Trump isn't racist, because he wants to own white people too.
000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Trump has declared shovels illegal, so they can't dig a new underground railroad when he brings slavery back. The line between the Confederacy, Nazis and Trump is a dot.
000