Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 9hIt's actually named after a whale's vagina. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 08/10/2026"All children under 16 years old are now 16 years old" sounds like Trump's solution to pedophilia. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 07/10/2026It's so weird that Google changed the name of Mar-a-lago. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Just to prove he want wrong, Trump has renamed it the Gulf of Unites. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Senator Schmitt: Are you and your wife stuck in a dull, suburban marriage, unaware that you are each assassins working for competing agencies, leading to you trying to kill each other. Jack Smith: No, that was Mr. & Mrs... Wait, what? (ducks as a bullet narrowly misses his head) 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026We are now in the Parks and Rec phase of our transition to Idiocracy. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Here's a Venn diagram that might help. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 16/09/2026BREAKING: Eddie & The Cruisers will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Trump promises you $5,000 and that he'll stand up to the Terminators for you... as soon as he figures out how to stand up. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 11/09/2026That stuff may be waterproof, but apparently not booger proof. 031
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Democrats should sell that on a jacket. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 24/08/2026There's only one way to properly serve Doritos. 110
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 21/08/2026If there's anyone who deserves to know, it's your sheets. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I can't believe I live in a reality where Scott Peterson is embarrassed to look like Dean Cain. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 19/08/2026How am I just now learning about #BrownSky? Where people post pictures of their stool samples and everyone guesses what they're suffering from. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Send in more aircraft carriers is the kind of solutions-oriented thinking I've come to expect from this administration. 020
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I mean, how "explosive"can diarrhea actually get, really? Me having salad for lunch... 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Knock, knock. Who's there? Trump's app. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Imagine seeing this walking down the street. Now imagine it's a real job. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Here's a better picture of Comic Heroes because the details in the line work deserved a better showing. Not necessarily my favorite storyline, but one of my favorite examples of his work. Rugster's rug was just beautiful. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 16/07/2026I honestly don't know what's so political about this? 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 15/07/2026I gotta say, eating salad has really helped with my weight loss a lot faster than I expected. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Days like this, I could really go for Starbucks' new Pizza Frappuccino. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Even a dead clock is right twice a day. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 12/07/2026It's heartwarming to see Lindsey Graham reunited with his soul. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Donald Trump buying a car from Iran... 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Just look at how much Trump has increased traffic through Hormuz since the Iran war began. 020
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 16/06/2026When you think you're the Incredible Hulk, but you're really just Shrek. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Finally getting to check out the new Reflecting Pool. It's nice seeing a President try to return things to nature. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 09/06/2026What we need to do is put burner phones on guns and then they'll let anyone buy them. 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 05/06/2026You already know it's coming, so it's pregret, but you do it anyways. 010
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 05/06/2026You can't make me wear a helmet. Oink, oink, pig! 000
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Is this the face of a man who would rape a child? 001
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 15/05/2026I want a sequel where Katlyn Jenner and Angel Reese cross the country on a crime spree doing story time at local libraries. 110
Absurd Existentialist @existentialistgod.bsky.social · 15/05/2026I like to think Old Whaley is still out there somewhere traveling the cosmos, solving mysteries or maybe just layin' pipe. 010