iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Made a post on reddit complaining about the incompetence of my post office and someone started arguing with me. I hate people.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

Don't wish your depression will go away. Befriend it, so it'll abandon you like everybody else.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

Them: So, how's it going? Me: If I had money I'd go get a tattoo right now.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

I walk into an upscale lobby. I see a violin playing but no one there to play it. "Is this place haunted?" I ask out loud to nobody. "Nobody knows I exist." The violinist worm thinks to itself as a tear rolls down its face.

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Reposted by Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟

Yael @elle91.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

We should've stopped somewhere between discovering fire and filing taxes. We did too much

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

What hasn't Dairy Queen and Burger King combined yet? I want a kingdom goddammit.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

Usually I can take climate change news stoically, but not when it affects penguins.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

Reading is awesome. I have learned competitive ballooning is a thing and a Corvette is a type of ship.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

I dress up as a French maid for role play. I am holding a broom and notice the room is dirty. I start to actually clean.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

*inside a rabbit hole* This wasn't as cool as everyone on the internet said it was.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

My new dryer's lint trap has thing to empty it so I don't have to scrape it off. I like scraping the lint trap. 🙁

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

*gets down on one knee* Will you decide what to have for dinner with me for the rest of our lives?

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

Do not ask me for stories from my past. Every time I try to open that folder in my brain I get an error message.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

Date: So, tell me about yourself. Me: Well, I'm wanted for murder in 3 states. Him: Ha, I'm wanted for murder in 5 states. Me*leaning in closer*: Ooh, which ones?

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

No more friendly reminders. Send me a pack of wolves to remind me about my appointment.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

(meeting my blind date after being told he's all that and a bag of chips) Where's the bag of chips?

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 10/02/2026

My daughter accidentally started a bread cult. (chants of "All hail the bread" are heard in the distance.)

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

When I left the Mormon church one of the "sins" I was excited about was tiramisu.

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Reposted by Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟

Edmonds Scanner @edmondsscanner.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

Books are not clutter. Clutter is all the other stuff that gets in the way of having more books.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

(naming a new drug) Let's just throw some syllables together and call it a day.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

*cat grabs daughter's pant leg* Me: He doesn't want you to go to school. Daughter: Neither do I.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 31/01/2026

*murderer is murdering me* *murderer takes a break and sits down* *cat sits in murderer's lap* Murderer (petting cat): Guess you won't be murdered today.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

Game show idea: People are in a room with kittens The person who goes the longest without petting a kitten wins.

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I'm going to be honest, I don't know what rain inches mean. Is an inch a lot or a little?

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Shannon 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟 @essjay90.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Things are getting serious between us. Google has started recommending me news articles applicable to you and not me.

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