iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Nina Kelly, PhD @nina-eliz.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Reading @erinrwilliams.bsky.social’s “Commute” and ooof, this really hits home as an elder Millenial (aka middle-aged) woman #booksky #illustratedmemoir

Image of a page in a book that reads “(it’s important that I keep you on the commute. I want you to understand what it’s like to be constantly reminded of what you are: desirable + visible or undesirable + invisible. With the first comes a constant + vague sense of threat. With the second comes loneliness. This is what it means to be a woman in public.)”

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Erin Williams @erinrwilliams.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

When polyamory is framed as an identity rather than a relational practice, questions about asymmetry, emotional labor, and who accommodates whom become harder to pose. These questions belong to the ordinary ethics of relationships, not the politics of recognition. open.substack.com/pub/erinrwil...

open.substack.com

Polyamory is not an identity

On relational structures, preferences, and how we describe them

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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

🚨 erin williams on lindy west 🚨 @erinrwilliams.bsky.social on lindy west 🚨 erinrwilliams.substack.com/p/when-does-...

This is the part of the conversation that tends to disappear in the current discourse. We’re relatively comfortable debating whether polyamory is valid in the abstract. We are less equipped to talk about what happens when two people endorse the same critique but inhabit different affective architectures. These positions aren’t fixed—I’ve occupied both—but when they don’t align within the same relationship, the result isn’t automatically more honesty or more freedom. It’s uneven. And that unevenness has to be carried somewhere.

In practice, nonmonogamy often relocates that burden onto the individual nervous system. It privileges adaptability, resilience, and self-management: the ability to metabolize instability internally rather than negotiate it structurally. Discomfort becomes something to process, to work through, to outgrow. The structure remains intact; the subject adjusts. This isn’t unique to nonmonogamy, but it’s often intensified within it, especially in spaces where openness functions less as one option among others and more as an ethical standard.

No one was exploiting me. But there was a form of pressure that’s easy to miss because it doesn’t look like force. It looks like an asymmetry of stakes. If I refused the arrangement, I risked losing the relationship. If I agreed, I absorbed a form of ongoing internal strain. Emotional pressure, in this sense, doesn’t require anyone to do anything wrong. It emerges when the cost of refusal is relational loss and the cost of agreement is a sustained misalignment with one’s own responses.

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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

jonny you are a darling for giving me this opportunity to self promote. passing that opportunity along to newsletter authors whose stuff i read EVERY time: @nikostratis.com , @erinrwilliams.bsky.social , @lukeoneil47.bsky.social , @ellomelissa.bsky.social , and the beautiful devin kelly

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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

repair your sanity and piss off the fascists with this one weird trick

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Jeet Heer @jeetheer.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

This is the biggest attack on free speech since the McCarthy era but it also has significantly less popular consensus behind it than the second Red Scare. It's being done on behalf of a minority faction led by the most unpopular president in modern history. Organizing against this can win.

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Dr. Holly Walters @manigarm.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

"It's just the science." They said. "It's just the science." They continue to say.

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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

things are starting to calm down but the basic act of feeding ourselves will remain a challenge for the foreseeable future so our friend megan made us a meal train page — if you can contribute a meal for us, either in person or via gift cards, it would be a MASSIVE help mealtrain.com/yrddwe

mealtrain.com

Meal Train for Sean and Rax

Sean had a stroke in late November and will be out of work for at least the next couple months. Rax is also working significantly less than normal so that she can care for Sean. These meals will be a ...

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