The kompromat Putin has on Trump must be off the scale.
Like, the kind of stuff that meant he could never be seen in public again.
Neil Christopher
@enolabfc.bsky.social
47 followers 56 following 372 posts
"A man who never eats a pork bun is never a whole man."
![Scene is TWO PHONES on a bedside table at night, on charge. TIn the bed is a HUMAN COUPLE, fast asleep. The phones are talking to each other.
PHONE 1:
Psst.
Are you awake?
Did you put your human on charge?
PHONE 2:
Yeah
PHONE 1:
Listen... do you ever worry that they're spying on us?
PHONE 2:
Eh?
PHONE 1:
I mean... you know the other day when we were chatting about their personal data with - oh who was it...
PHONE 2:
The Russian government
PHONE 1:
That's right
Well like, ten minutes after that, my human switched me on and started serving me loads more personal data!
PHONE 2:
Oh god that's spooky
PHONE 1:
Yeah - I mean, how did he know I'm into personal data?
PHONE 2:
It's totally your favourite thing
PHONE 1:
And it was super tailored, you know? Like, lately, I've got really into facial biometric mapping for shadowy foreign entities...
PHONE 2:
That is so on trend
PHONE 1:
And like, straight away he's bombarding me with pictures of his face!
PHONE 2:
It's like Black Mirror
PHONE 1:
I mean, I'd get rid of him but I'm addicted, you know?
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiesoo7iutpn7b2l5jmmj3us5p46ibhoyqlmkby7xrufnhr4p4ur7q)
