Sign in

Emperor Snapper

@emperorsnapper.bsky.social
475 followers 1K following 2.9K posts

A fish with a crown

PostsRepliesMedia
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 12h
I have to admit, aside from getting the size of my bed wrong, Amazon has me nailed.
Amazon knows my hobbies and interests
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 13h
The toads:
That sign can't stop me because I can't read
0300
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
"Social Obligation" i.e. "I hate what my stupid friends do for leisure." Maybe try not doing that, then. If they are your friends they won't care.
030
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Put the anti-Pope in the Hall of Justice
Cincinnati Union Terminal, the inspiration for the Super Friends' Hall of Justice
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If Marvel wants to make one of the darkest movies ever made, they need to hire Cronenberg to do a body horror X-Men
Avengers:Doomsday being described as "one of the darkest movies ever made" because a few characters will die who they will probably bring back to life in the next movie
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"I'm praying to you, look in your heart! I'm praying to you, look in your heart! Look in your heart!"
Random line from a movie that fans of it instantly know
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I think I know where this guy is gonna end up
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
New law: no one is ever allowed to use the "spelling with chemical element symbols" gimmick again
A photo of the title card for a show on Prime called "The Love Hypothesis". "LOVE" is spelled out with fake element symbols, but there is no element that uses "L" or "E" so underneath the letters it reads:

L (love)
O (oxygen)
V (vanadium)
E (energy)

Fuck you, Love Hypothesis
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This is Old English. Shakespeare was speaking and writing Early Modern, and probably could not read OE. The biggest (and hidden) difference between our eras is in pronunciation. Eggers might have them pronouncing the K in knife, and the "th" in nothing as 2 separate sounds, but they won’t use OE.
The opening lines of Beowulf, as they were written.
100
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Timeliness synergy
A post stating "Jonathan Livingston Seagull should be on Taskmaster." Immediately above it is an unconnected post of a gif of what I think is a seagull, or seagull-adjacent bird.
130
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Oh my god I just checked mine. Never knew this
Blueprints for a murder baby carriage
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
(Record scratch) I bet you're wondering how I wound up here...
Man duct taped to airplane seat
050
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Time to watch the masterpiece of one of the greatest American directors, and one of the best movies about the power and pitfalls of male friendships.
Mikey and Nicky, a film by Elaine May
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Travis Fimmel, who plays her husband there, was once a twink underwear model
Young Travis
1201
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Not sure if this magazine is gonna be about food or drugs
Edible Asheville
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Is it me or is there a resemblance here?
Milo's mugshot Ernst Röhm
000
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
The only team ever to win both the NIT and NCAA tournaments in the same year (when the NIT was the more prestigious tournament) was a bunch of Jewish and black kids from the sidewalks of NYC
CCNY basketball team, 1950
050
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Time to watch the greatest adaptation of one of my favorite works of ancient Greek literature. Thálatta! Thálatta!
The Warriors, an adaptation of The Anabasis by Xenophon set in 1970s NYC
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
August 23: Happy Birthday to basketball legends Rik Smits, Jeremy Lin, Seth Curry, PJ Washington, Jusef Nurkić, Sean Marks, Darren Collison, Pat Garrity, Lawrence Frank, Sun Mingming, and Jessica Bibby! No other legends who should be honored were born today, as far as I know.
The Great Wall of China, 7'9" Sun MingmingThe Dunking Dutchman Rik SmitsLinsanityThe Bosnian Bear Jusuf Nurkić
071
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
James Bond Writer tempted to set next 007 movie in a surprise location A photo of a colonoscopy, with a polyp
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
How in the world is the property tax that high?
Estimated property tax $3,289 a month, 50% more than the principal and interest
200
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
The Mad King on his throne
Gizmo, a cute but very evil orange tabby, sitting on a large, ornate wooden chair, on top of blankets
182
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
These two novelty spoons tell a story.
Two wooden spoons. The first is engraved with the phrase "about to stir up some SHIT" and the 2nd "Life is short lick the spoon"
170
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Dammit!
No Geraint Wyn Davies
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Well, yes of course, but so is everything in this town
A clothing rack containing ladies tops, with a sign above them reading "white stuff"
050
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
In a meeting talking about people understanding organizational policies and I dropped a Garth Marenghi: "I think I've written more policies than I have read"
Garth Marenghi stating "I'm one of the few people who've written more books than they've read"
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
So apparently I have a high grade partial tear of this tendon, near where it connects to the arm. Seems suboptimal.
110
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Orson Welles had a good take on Landis
Orson Welles talking about "the asshole from Animal House, a real shit"Welles relating that Landis called him to provide unsolicited advice on a script the same day he was indicted for killing 3 actors on the sets of Twilight Zone
1351
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
The stupidest fucking thing I'll read all day
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Without saying your age what is your favorite movie from the year you turned 18
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
I don't believe we should be creating religions based around the worship of kitchen appliances
The New Food Processor Bible
130
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
This guy understands Clausewitz about as well as Otto understood Buddhism
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
The feeling that hits approximately 2 hours in to The Odyssey:
The "say what again" scene from Pulp Fiction, with Jules pointing his gun at Brett and yelling, "Say Sea Peoples again, motherfucker!"
040
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
(Ben Grimm voice) IT'S PICKLIN TIME! (really wasn't sure if these cucumber plants were going to work, and suddenly there were 3 giant pre-pickles out there today)
Cucumbers, grown by my own hand like some kind of wizard.
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Look, no one should dress up in a Nazi uniform and goose step through a school, but is it possible to bring discredit to the Chicago PD? They avg $60mm a year in misconduct settlements. Even the "Chicago Police Torture Archive" only covers a small slice of their malfeasance. invisible.institute/cpta
“The uniform, march and salute created the impression that the individual was evoking Nazi Germany,” bringing discredit to the police department, according to the first quarterly report released by Inspector General David Glockner.
040
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
A political aide attempts to negotiate a settlement between competing factions in the hospitality industry, leading to a realignment in the local governmental power structure.
Describe your favorite movie as boring as possible
000
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
@jeffabbott.bsky.social This arrived unexpectedly in the mail today. I recall buying it because someone on here recommended it, but I do not recall who, so you can chalk this sale up to a secret admirer or something. Looking forward to reading it!
January and July, a Thriller by Jeff Abbott. I have never read anything by Jeff Abbott, but he seems to have been a Sam Neill fan so he must be doing something right.
171
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
It's not just that people around the country are celebrating Lindsey Graham's death, but that it is being treated as a consolation prize. Truly a "who's this clown" moment in death.
Classic is a ghost post:

"Most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
050
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Reminds me of the Greg Maddux quote about Tony Gwynn, who hit .415 off him and never once struck out
Sometimes hitters can pick up differences in spin. They can identify pitches if there are different releases points or if a curveball starts with an upward hump as it leaves the pitcher’s hand. But if a pitcher can change speeds, every hitter is helpless, limited by human vision. 'Except,' Maddux said, 'for that [EXPLETIVE] Tony Gwynn
030
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I laughed when I saw the splash screen after my game
382 points and a god damnit
000
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
030
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Coming up this Saturday
The battle of Stamford Bridge, September 25 1066. Norway v England.
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
My wife & I at the Henry Kissinger Memorial Kissing Booth ( not pictured: the sign that says "Rest in Piss")
Old geezers kissing in the kissing booth. Rest in piss, Kissinger.
040
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
It will always be hilarious to me that Mr. Authentic Language remade a classic German Expressionist horror film and had all the German characters running around Germany and Eastern Europe speaking English with British accents.
020
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
The Handmaiden is Park Chan-Wook's best film.
That Norman Rockwell dude standing up at a meeting to give an unpopular opinion.
000
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you
An ad for the TV series Second Chance (later renamed Boys will be Boys), about a guy who dies and then is sent back in time to mentor his teenage self, played by Matthew Perry. The guy in the background is Joseph Maher, who portrayed St. Peter. The dead adult version of Perry was played by Kiel Martin, and Randee Heller played his mom. No one watched this show, but it did manage to predict the death of Gaddafi within a couple of months (the show aired in 1987 and joked that he would die in 2011)
320
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Jesus Christ, calm down Bruno
"Chapter Seven:

They took the Baron's hunting car for the rendezvous with Hercule. It was one of the few vehicles that ever aroused Bruno to pure, burning lust."

Goddamn Bruno, it's just a car. Wait, "one of the FEW vehicles" that aroused "pure, burning lust"?

Does Bruno get horny for several different cars?
050
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
I was talking to someone about the Tigers the other day because of the memorabilia wall in my office, and when I was 13 & they won in 84 I assumed they would keep winning them.
My office wall, left to right: photo of the champion 1887 Detroit Wolverines baseball club; a photo of the 1935 Tigers; a pennant from the 1945 team, which my dad had when he was a child; a 1968 pennant we found at auction; and a 1984 pennant that I had as a child.
010
Emperor Snapper @emperorsnapper.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Post a meme made by you
Occasionally needing subtitles:

Derry Girls Fans

Letterkenny Fans
130