iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 25/07/2026

they really do move the stones at Avebury and Stonehenge one stone clockwise and anticlockwise every spring and autumn. Residents of Wiltshire have the choice of paying a levy on our council tax or helping to move them.

000

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 23/07/2026

Do they know how fucking hard it is for me to put myself out there? fucking hell I'm tired. I just want to earn enough money to feed myself, feed my dog, feed my cats, and keep a roof over my head. And I can't do any of that right now. FML. serious emphasis on the fuck.

000

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 23/07/2026

Instagram - shadow banned me for talking about creating my own thing. LinkedIn... post two days ago... shown to 100 people, and today's? FOURTEEN.

220

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 23/07/2026

Do you ever just feel like you're invisible? like I could be standing stark bollock naked in the middle of trafalga square at 10am on a Saturday with a megaphone talking about the thing I'm trying to create and nobody would notice?

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 19/07/2026

The number of things I’ve gone to out in the fridge that do not belong in the fridge…

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 19/07/2026

there's also the monthly edition which is free for everyone, forever... but that edition doesn't go out until the 1st of the month. You can find out more here: goldenticketfilmclub.substack.com Oh... and it's not AI powered, it's Emma powered.

goldenticketfilmclub.substack.com

The Golden Ticket Film Club | Emma Chittenden | Substack

Tired of watching the loading spinner on Netflix while your Friday night dies? The Golden Ticket Film Club lands in your inbox every Friday with three films worth your time. No algorithm. No faff. Jus...

001

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 19/07/2026

I've had a career drought from hell this year. So I'm trying something different. On Friday I launched the Golden Ticket Film Club. Netflix gives you 4,000 films and zero will to pick one. I give you three, paired to your mood, every Friday. (free for one month) open.substack.com/pub/goldenti...

open.substack.com

🎟️ Showing #1 - Emma's Favourites

Point Break, Inception and Buffy the Vampire Slayer walk into a heatwave. Three films, three nights, and yes, a lifelong crush on Keanu.

121

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 02/07/2026

well, how DO you share snacks with a bear? you don't, they don't share.

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 02/07/2026

would still trust the bear as a co-driver... less likely to be a backseat driver. Wouldn't share snacks with tho.

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

My bedroom has been 31c with around 50+ humidity all night for the last two nights

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

He’s usually fine, in heats up to around 30, but it’s been over and incredibly humid here in the last few days, and he’s not been enjoying it

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

Cats. WEIRD. Sadly they don’t like ice cubes like puppies do

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

I think the word you’re looking for is “pedant” 😂

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

Hugely. He’s not enjoying the heat. The cat that loves the heat, hating the heat

231

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

But to do things differently, you’d need to be done with another way, no?

120

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

No aircon, but this is what happens when you fall asleep on the yoga mat after exercising your fangs on your human’s foot… you get relocated to a velvet cloud with the fan pointed at you.

141

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/06/2026

When you’re done. You’re done. More so when you’re autistic. I just wish, knowing your done came with more money in the bank 😑😩 I get it tho.

120

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 23/06/2026

And also antisemitism is not fucking hyphenated. When you hyphenate it, it implies semitism exists. It doesn’t.

000

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 23/06/2026

PSA for the press… it’s not a fucking secret if you’re publishing it, is it?

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 20/06/2026

Eliot gets HANGRY and by gets I mean, when he’s awake. He’s hangry. He eats everything but espesh all manner of shit, like *actual* shit. He can’t be trained, because he’s been sick more than healthy. And when he is healthy we don’t know what he’s allergic to so I can’t treat train him. He’s a twat.

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 20/06/2026

And I’ve done very in the little of the way of work since December. But I have stopped to smell the flowers, watch the clouds and admire the birds & their songs. It’s been nice.

120

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 20/06/2026

Eliot joined the family in March. He’s a fucking asshole, also has “probably” had IBD which largely hasn’t been believed (because why would I end up with two non-related golden retrievers with an identical stomach issue).

A golden retriever puppy, who has gold ears and a cream body looks at the person holding the camera like she’s got food and he doesn’t

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 20/06/2026

Huh. Well, the last 6 months have been interesting. Bertie died early one Saturday morning at the end of January. It was faster than we’d have liked.

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 29/05/2026

The brass neck of people who “offer” £150 when something is listed for £240 on Vinted. I’ve got an offer back… fuck off. 🙄

010

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 27/03/2026

I think we should bungee cord Elno to one of his rockets and launch it... wonder how worried he'll be about rapid unscheduled disassemblies then 🤭

010

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 27/02/2026

That word they’re using, I don’t think they know what it means 🙄

020

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

Related, confuses me when people say “they died peacefully”. Like how did the know? It’s not like the could complete a customer satisfaction survey “on a scale of 1-10 how peaceful was it?”

010

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

Today, my hearing loss and autism won as going somewhere quiet meant I was in the right place at the right time. WIN.

000

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

Well, it paid to drive round to the scanner (it was a mobile one). While being told my scan would be delayed by at min an hour because the guy ahead of me had a 40min scan and the tech was there to fix the scanner, they said they’d do mine first because it was a 7min scan.

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

That apts not for another hour and I’ve been told it’s outside (in the rain) and they’re running behind.

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

Oh, and my MRI isn’t for another hour and I’ve been told they’re already running behind. 😑

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

I haven’t had coffee or breakfast. Which explains my mood.

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 22/02/2026

Waiting for an ultrasound and an MRI (routine appointment). Unimpressed by the nurse stood at the counter gossiping with the receptionist holding my slip for my appointment for the last 10 mins. I get it, it’s a Sunday, but it’s not like I don’t have stuff to do today.

210

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 16/02/2026

The stage version with Bryan Cranston was unbelievably spectacular (I saw it on its opening weekend).

010

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 14/02/2026

When in doubt, watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks

050

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 07/02/2026

The question nobody seems to be asking. If nature abhors a vacuum, who has filled the Epstein void? Because these scum lords won’t stop their activities just because someone is dead. Look at the mafia, cut off a head and two more grow to replace it.

063

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 15/01/2026

I feel this maybe above the average level of intellect for some of Hull's residents.

000

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 15/01/2026

Sensible. Like if they're going to make a second one, at least put it somewhere accessible.

000

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 15/01/2026

is the world ready for double Hull tho?

210

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 11/01/2026

the UK and France, because we have nuclear weapons.

020

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 05/01/2026

Tore my rotator cuff feeding the hamster. He was in a glass terrarium on top of a book case (because we had cats) with an arm chair in front of it. I over extended at a bad angle.

010

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 05/01/2026

We must be living a great life in the UK, cybertrucks are banned as they fail to meet safety requirements

110

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 31/12/2025

www.tiktok.com/@samhairwolf... he’s a human golden retriever with amazing vocal talents. Roger Taylor suggested he be the vocalist for the Taylor Hawkins memorial at Wembley, he’s that well regarded.

tiktok.com

Bonkers 😳 #fyp #taylorhawkins #somebodytolove @Queen #foofighters @foofightersofficial

TikTok video by Sam Ryder

030

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/12/2025

He’s an absolute fucking asshat if he thinks we’d just randomly nuke the US when we’re more worried about the fucking Russians cruising up and down the North Sea / English Channel provoking us. Maybe he should go sniff some Bolivian marching powder, he might make more sense.

040

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 05/12/2025

Just read an article on festive gift ideas for people your struggling to gift for. Can I say, anyone giving me a bag of “festive granola” is telling me they hate me.

040

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 04/12/2025

I was thinking you were trying to decide what karaoke song you should sing

100

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/11/2025

She's the FIRST woman in *800* years to hold the position of Chancellor of the Exchequer. Demeaning her role by calling her "Rachel from accounts" is disgusting, and women doing it should be f*cking ashamed of themselves. Do better.

041

Emma Chittenden @emmachittenden.com · 26/11/2025

Small point. The budget was a shit show. We know. But if I see another WOMAN call the Chancellor "Rachel from accounts" I will lose my shit with them. I didn't hear anyone say "Rishi from the bank".

160