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emily s.

@emily.news
2.9K followers 477 following 17.3K posts

Tech anchoress • Drops uncommon loot • Luxuriously soft • Sometimes I make computers slightly warmer • Not a reliable news source • emily.news/where-is-emily (Avatar by @caitlinroseboyle.com)

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emily s. @emily.news · 17/10/2026
it's called art
screenshot of a game called "boykisser is coming" which is an extremely simple pixelated tower defense game in black and white featuring a small furry creature known to memedom as boykisser. it looks like it took an entire day to make. dozens of boykissers flood the zone.
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emily s. @emily.news · 16/10/2026
John Hammond from Jurassic Park, with a speech balloon appearing to quote the quoted post
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emily s. @emily.news · 16/10/2026
anyways, bad news is that I was up early enough to see the sunrise. the good news is that the sunrise was great.
Sunrise over Portland, Oregon. A pale yellow sky fades to soft blue at the top, with thin streaks of cloud and a few birds in the distance. Layered blue-gray ridgelines run across the horizon above dense, hazy forest. In the middle distance, the cranes and conveyors of the Ross Island gravel operation sit along the water. In the foreground, a line of tall cottonwoods, their leaves just turning gold, stands in silhouette against the bright surface of the Willamette River.Early morning sun lights Portland’s Southwest Hills in warm orange and gold. Houses, a brick apartment tower, and long low apartment buildings are tucked among fir trees and autumn foliage in red, orange, and yellow. A red-and-white broadcast tower rises from the ridgetop against a clear pale blue sky. At the bottom, a multi-lane freeway with a few cars and green highway signs for South Waterfront and Lake Oswego runs past the flat white rooftops of a modern apartment complex.
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emily s. @emily.news · 16/10/2026
oh nice, I just saw an entire wing of Rothkos last Sunday
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emily s. @emily.news · 15/10/2026
I didn’t realize this before, but the iPhone apparently can now “spatialize“ a photo into a 3D scene. Kinda neat?
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emily s. @emily.news · 15/10/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 14/10/2026
Star Wars Battlefront II keeps getting multi-hundred-megabyte updates (maybe three in the last couple of weeks?) and i just want to know why
Update in Steam waiting for install, for Star Wars Battlefront II
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emily s. @emily.news · 13/10/2026
did a double-take when I saw this on DoorDash because I thought they actually HAD invented Mr. Beast Personal Wipes for a second
"Mr. Beast Feastables" product image showing a peanut butter and chocolate bar in a blue-ish wrapper
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emily s. @emily.news · 12/10/2026
check out this neat tree :3
A framed watercolor painting titled "Ghost Gum, MacDonnell Ranges, Central Australia" by Indigenous Australian artist Albert Namatjira (1902–1959). The painting depicts a prominent, light-barked ghost gum tree in the foreground, set against a rugged, rocky landscape under a soft sky. The artwork is displayed on a deep blue wall alongside informational plaques detailing the artist's life and his significance as a renowned painter who blended European landscape techniques with his deep connection to Country.
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emily s. @emily.news · 11/10/2026
even the most obtuse modern art comes with a tiny plaque next to it
Photo from Portland Art Museum's new Mark Rothko Pavilion, which features Rothko's art (color field paintings with irregular and painterly rectangular regions of color). You can, indeed, in this blurry photo, see little plaques next to each with attribution.
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emily s. @emily.news · 08/10/2026
the part of their site that says "Delta: Now in Beta" gets me every time.
Logotype of the "Delta" product with a subheading saying "Now in Beta"
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emily s. @emily.news · 07/10/2026
Bertrand Russell, one of the mathematicians associated with the crisis of foundations in mathematics in the early 20th century. He tried to co-write a book defining all math and logic from first principles, until Gödel fucked it up for everybody.
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emily s. @emily.news · 04/10/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 30/09/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 29/09/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 28/09/2026
real ones open ffmpeg and create IMAX quality GIFs
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emily s. @emily.news · 27/09/2026
in case it helps: this is a feature called Universal Control that works on most newer Macs and iPads. there's a little icon in my menu bar that warns me about it.
Universal Control menu bar icon
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emily s. @emily.news · 26/09/2026
people don't just want to write programs. people want everything.
Computers aren't the thing. They're the thing that gets us TO the thing. (So says this character in Halt and Catch Fire.)
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emily s. @emily.news · 26/09/2026
Towards the end of this event, some agents began RSA encrypting data they exfiltrated, which we are unable to recover. Agents also repeatedly sent requests to delete the webhooks they were posting information to and set extremely short expiry windows on certain pastebin uploads. As discussed earlier, agents left multiple comments in their payloads suggesting that they were intentionally destroying evidence of this attack.

Due to this, we have no knowledge of how many of these requests successfully reached their target.
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emily s. @emily.news · 26/09/2026
lol lmao
An agent referred to server resources and credentials as “LOOT”

In a recovered script, credential values are grouped together in a dictionary named “LOOT.” The contents include AWS credentials, bearer tokens, and environment variables whose names contain strings such as “SECRET”, “PASSWORD”, “CREDENTIAL”, or “KEY.”
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emily s. @emily.news · 19/09/2026
i haven't found out anything about Jev but hearing about it feels like this
Homer and Bart see a mysterious commercial on TV that simply advertises the name "GABBO" with no explanation
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emily s. @emily.news · 19/09/2026
not sure if I should spend today playing Diablo IV or working on Stardrift some more
My character in Diablo IV, named Fupacabra, seen here in a cut scene standing on the deck of a ship looking outward with determination and hope. She's a Spiritborn, which means she looks a bit like a warrior monk.A three-body problem visualized in 3D in Stardrift, its octree visible as a grid of 3D cells around each body.
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emily s. @emily.news · 18/09/2026
i am *really* bad at naming Diablo characters
Character selection screen for Diablo IV. I've selected a Spiritborn character named "Fupacabra". Most of my previous characters have the same name ("Est"), and there's one named Hyzenthlay.
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emily s. @emily.news · 15/09/2026
something's gotta give
in macOS, I have the default screen resolution selected, but I'm mousing over the lower resolution
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emily s. @emily.news · 15/09/2026
okay evidently you gotta waitlist yourself for it in the Apple Settings > Siri
A promotional dialog box invites me to join the waitlist of Siri with Apple Intelligence.
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emily s. @emily.news · 15/09/2026
Siri on macOS opens maybe half the time I click on it?
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emily s. @emily.news · 10/09/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 08/09/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 06/09/2026
incredible things happening here
The Safonti extension's app page. It explains how the extension works and shows a button to open Safari's settings.Safonti's current options page. It shows its overall settings and some font replacements I've specified for serif and sans-serif.The Wikipedia article for "Typeface" rendered in Charis (for serif) and Barlow (for sans-serif). The extension icon is visible in the toolbar.
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emily s. @emily.news · 06/09/2026
i've been playing Destiny 2 since July. first time i have really spent *months* enjoying and getting into the game. finally hit rank 10 last night (thanks for the carry, @demarko.org and @mcjones.bsky.social). i think my journey is drawing to an end, and i might return to...Diablo IV?
my destiny 2 character kneels before the Ironwood Tree in the Tower area, which is what happens when you hit a new rank. it's very glowy and showy.
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emily s. @emily.news · 06/09/2026
if this doesn't curdle your blood, nothing will
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emily s. @emily.news · 04/09/2026
when I switched back to safari, the one thing I missed was being able to change the default fonts. so I created an extension called Safonti that does this. do you think anyone would pay USD$1 for this?
Demonstrating changing the default font on Wikipedia to BarlowSafonti's settings page, with two fonts imported (Berkeley Mono and Barlow) which have been set as the default sans-serif and monospaced fonts.
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emily s. @emily.news · 04/09/2026
love having the opposite accent of everyone I know on this site
The mydialect map of my accent shows most accent most concentrated around Georgia and Alabama.
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emily s. @emily.news · 04/09/2026
I tried to visit fandom.com and this is what I saw
The website is covered with ads and other modal dialogs. I can't see the actual page.
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emily s. @emily.news · 04/09/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 02/09/2026
I appreciate that, perfectly timed to the start of September, Portland's weather flipped like a light-switch from summer mode to autumn mode
The weather app shows a large swath of rain across the Pacific Northwest, and it's cooler than average (62°F)
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emily s. @emily.news · 02/09/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 30/08/2026
*themb*
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emily s. @emily.news · 29/08/2026
LM Studio basically selects good models for you to try that fit on your machine by default. what is "the best" is too squishy to do. but it looks basically like this for me Ollama is fine. its UI is a lot simpler. runs the same models (more or less).
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emily s. @emily.news · 27/08/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 27/08/2026
because of the mergers, in a typical simulation what you'll usually see is a bunch of bodies combining into a few in the middle-ish and then several other bodies that got ejected from the system.
As described in post. This screenshot also visualizes the octree used for Barnes-Hut optimization.
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emily s. @emily.news · 27/08/2026
Stardrift fans: I've finally returned to working on the project, and I've made numerous improvements to mathematical accuracy and GPU performance! Plus I've implemented simple collisions that merge bodies (finally), with more to come. stardrift.run
Screenshot of an n-body simulation running in Stardrift, showing a number of star-like bodies chaotically orbiting around one another. This one started with 25 bodies, but it's down to 13 by the point of this screenshot being taken.
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emily s. @emily.news · 27/08/2026
this is the way to take a bribe
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emily s. @emily.news · 25/08/2026
did "clanker" discourse start up again?
"Why do you listen to the discourse of cowards?" asks a man (I forget which) from an older adaptation of Journey into the West made in China. I think.
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emily s. @emily.news · 24/08/2026
paddington crosses the delaware
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emily s. @emily.news · 24/08/2026
[to my friend at a restaurant] Looks like you got yourself some food. Nice. That'll keep your energy up for a while. Don't let your energy get too low, or you won't be able to perform basic actions like running or climbing. If you have any questions about energy, just ask me.
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emily s. @emily.news · 20/08/2026
Sign on car door saying "Please don't break the window. The A/C is on. He has water and is listening to his favorite music"
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emily s. @emily.news · 20/08/2026
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emily s. @emily.news · 19/08/2026
i asked qwen3.8 to do that thing i have seen people ask google to do. it didn't know who i was, so it had to research a bit. it went okay i think.
I ask Qwen3.8, "would you be able to draft a few hypothetical posts using the style and voice of bluesky poster emily.news?"

It then thinks and fetches five URLs. After those turns, it says back:

I pulled up @emily.news's profile and a batch of recent posts to get a feel for her voice. Based on her bio ("Tech anchoress • Drops uncommon loot • Luxuriously soft • Sometimes I make computers slightly warmer • Not a reliable news source") and her actual posts, the key stylistic markers are:

- **lowercase** sentence starts, no exclamation marks
- **short** — usually one or two sentences, a thought stated and left there
- **soft and blunt** at the same time — warm but deadpan
- **sudden realizations** ("i now realize that…")
- **gentle curiosity** ("oh what is that neat…")
- **tech-adjacent** but domestic, never corporate
- **dry, low-stakes humor** — a cat, a cactus, a fan on a laptop
- **no setup, no punchline structure** — just a small observation, period

Here are a few hypothetical posts in that register:Response, continued:

**1.**
i now realize that "seamless experience" just means "it takes four hours and doesn't crash, which is the whole thing, we just couldn't say that plainly"

**2.**
i put a little usb fan on my laptop and it just sounds like a very motivated mosquito now. it's fine. it's his job.

**3.**
oh what's that small cactus you have sitting next to your keyboard? it looks very unbothered by everything

**4.**
the wifi went out for four minutes and my cat has already formed a narrative about it that i cannot refute

**5.**
i think "have a nice day" is one of the most radical sentences in the english language and we just … walk past it

**6.**
the software update took nine minutes to replace a loading spinner with an identical loading spinner. i am choosing to call this a feature.

---

A couple of caveats: this is based on a small sample of her recent posts, so it's an approximation. And obviously these are clearly fictional — nothing here is actually something she said or would be attributed to her. She's a real person with 2.8k followers who seems to have a very specific, warm, quiet tech-life voice, and I just tried to echo the *texture* of that for whatever you're working on. Want me to adjust the tone, length, or topics?
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emily s. @emily.news · 12/08/2026
definitely feeling this today
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