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Emjayess

@em-jay-ess.bsky.social
582 followers 294 following 2.1K posts

About me: I'm a cargo shorts guy, but I have black jeans for fancy stuff. My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting. My two biggest regrets are not winning the lottery and not buying a ticket.

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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 7h
Effing Huntington Beach airshow is ramping up again. They turn right over our house and our pets are going nuts. I was just in the backyard and a jet banked hard over our house. I literally made eye contact with the pilot and he waved to me. Asshole. My dogs are traumatized and my ears are ringing.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
LOL! Give this man a raise!
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Jon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Who did this? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
The Buffalo Bills are making the Detroit Lions look like Pete Hegseth. #NFL #Bills #Lions
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
True heroes and leaders don't have to build monuments to themselves. Others do to honor them and show appreciation. Narcissists and the most hated rulers/people have to build monuments to themselves because they know no one else will.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I did a thing...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Just watching college volleyball on FS1. Every commercial break was for war.gov and ads recruiting people who wanted to join the world's greatest war machine. I'm old enough to remember when recruiting ads were all about defending freedom and American values. What a world.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
This makes me cry-laugh every time I see it, but I'm a 10 year old in a grown man's body...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
With everyone focusing on the USPS and what they're planning on doing, how about some attention to what they've already done? www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
the-independent.com
More mail-in ballots are arriving late and not being counted in key states: report
At least 12 states holding House, Senate and/or gubernatorial races saw more late mail-in ballots go uncounted
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I'M CALLING IT BY MERCY RULE: THE RICH WON. IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. Congratulations. Well played. HOWEVER, It's time to start over with a new game with slightly different rules. And this time, I get to be the banker...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
PREDICTION: Meat prices will fall, not because of the suspension of tariffs, but because nobody will buy it. In other related future news, food borne illnesses from tainted beef hit an all-time high after food scientists discover chemicals and non-cow meat additives.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I did a thing. #badphotoshop
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Natalie Harp got her security clearance in record time after trying to avoid a background check for over a year - while still sitting in on meetings requiring clearance. Given her abnormal behavior and use of excessive flattery to get access, what country/billionaire is she an asset for?
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Did you know 86/47 = 1.83? I wonder if 1.83 knows that?
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
If someone disabled all the features of my cell phone except the phone, text, internet, and camera there is a 0% chance I'd notice...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Hey Wienerschnitzel, why the hell do you have vegetarian hot dogs on your menu if you're going to serve them with BACON on them??? My wife and kid just went through the drivethru and all three dogs they got had bacon. And they didn't order any bacon! (I enjoyed it though...)
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Name ONE Republican politician (Local, state, federal) that has done anything to improve the lives of their constituents and not their donors and billionaire owners.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
What passes for "reporting" these days is embarrassing...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
These hot days reminds me of summers spent helping in my grandmother's kitchen. No air conditioning. People used to say her food tasted so good because it was made with love. But it was sweat. Lots of sweat.
static.klipy.com
Man Sweating Profusely in Airplane Cockpit
ALT: Man Sweating Profusely in Airplane Cockpit
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
This Supergirl trailer is the reason I haven't seen the movie yet.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I'm not a beer connoisseur, but I know what I like. And I gotta say, PBR light is not bad as far as low-cal light beers go...
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MoJoJuju @xoey1.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
If anyone out there has any information..👍
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
LOL. The right can't math...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Wait. What kind of meat are you using and why didn't you say anything about cats?
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Looks like I'm repeating 8th grade...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
What the fuck? Hey @spectrumnews1socal.bsky.social, cover this: #spectrumcable
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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 20/07/2026
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
"This is why mail-in voting needs to be stopped! Dewey, somebody I've met and endorsed, lost because of fraudulent mail-in ballots!" -Donmentia Trump, probably
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
"This is why mail-in voting needs to be stopped! Dewey, somebody I've met and endorsed, lost because of fraudulent mail-in ballots!" -Donmentia Trump, probably
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
UPDATE: www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/politic...
hollywoodreporter.com
NBC and ABC Won’t Carry Trump Primetime Election Speech
The broadcasters will stream the address and break in if needed, with other networks still scrambling to determine their plans for the speech.
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Marc Elias @marcelias.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Many of you are asking how you can help me. My only ask is this: Spread the word about the threats to democracy and how we can fight back. Tell everyone to subscribe to Democracy Docket and share its content. Thanks. bit.ly/4qmEiFz
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
HEY DOCTORS!! Stop saying "what we normally do for someone your age is..." and start saying "what we normally do for someone as active as you is..."
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
US: Well, at least Lindsey pushed Don-old out of the headlines for a day and Trump can't make it about him... DJT: I was the last one to speak to him (not true). I am the authority on how he was feeling before he died and will call into every radio/tv/podcast to tell them about me.. er, it. (true)
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
#Caturday
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
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Lizzie K. Foley @lizziekfoley.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
My dog talked to his old friend Mitch McConnell this morning. They talked for about 20 minutes, about the unfolding situation with SQUIRRELS, my dog's recent vet visit (UNJUST!) & low-cal dog food (AN ABOMINATION!) "This really happened," my dog added. "Please take me seriously"
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
A priest was doing a crossword puzzle next to me on the plane. "Excuse me, what's a 4-letter word used to describe a woman that ends in U-N-T?" "Aunt?" "Oh, of course! Got an eraser?"
static.klipy.com
Pope No
ALT: Pope No
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Why is this man walking around free? Send him to Mexico!
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Obligatory Komodo 3000 clip from Malcom in the Middle: Happy 4th!
youtube.com
Komodo 3000 (extended HD)
YouTube video by malcolmHD
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Fireworks must be really expensive this year. Haven't heard more than a few. Our dogs are having their best 4th ever! So far...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Why was Mike Johnson and GOP leadership meeting with Clarence Thomas today? I call shenanigans!
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
LOL!
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Australia tells it like it is...
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
"I call him Don-old. It's perfect because you take the "a" out of donald (most people don't know it's spelled with an "a") and replace it with an 'o." It spells Donold. I put a line thing so the people who don't know there's an "a" in Donald will understand. Don-Old."
static.klipy.com
Muppets Statler and Waldorf at Computer
ALT: Muppets Statler and Waldorf at Computer
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
To Fox, conservative pundits, and the culture warriors: America isn't free If I have to be like you, not me.
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
@markhamillofficial.bsky.social
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Emjayess @em-jay-ess.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
SLAVA UKRAINI! Ukraine drones own the Moscow sky...
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