iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 4h

My friend asked me, "What are your plans for the weekend?" I said, "I'm going to buy glasses." She said, "And then what?" I replied, "Then I'll see."

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

An eyelash’s main job is to keep things out of your eye. But nine times out of 10, when you get something in your eye, it’s an eyelash. Now, that’s eyeronic.

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SDDPHOTO @sddphoto.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

People can get a little testy about their digestive systems

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 29/09/2026

I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia website. I told the detective, “Wait! I can explain everything!”

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 29/09/2026

This morning I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee. I was halfway to work before I realized I'd forgotten my car!

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 29/09/2026

What would you do with a sick Chemist? If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 29/09/2026

I once asked a girl to marry me. She said, “No.” I said, “Is there someone else?” She said, “There’s gotta be!”

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 29/09/2026

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, well, this changes everything.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 29/09/2026

I don't want to brag, but I finished the jigsaw puzzle in a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

One minute you’re young & carefree. The next minute, your kids are asking for help with their history homework because you were alive in the nineteen hundreds…

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 28/09/2026

The world tongue-twister champion has just been arrested. I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 28/09/2026

My wife always wanted our son's name to have an uncommon spelling, so after giving birth, we decided on Mark but with a C. She will be so excited to see Cark's birth certificate that came in the mail today!

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 28/09/2026

Apparently this weekend there will be constant rane, hale, gails, drissle, thundre, litnin, hy tydes, tawnaydoes and frizzing colde. So, we're in for a really bad spell of wether.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 28/09/2026

I was gonna make a pun about electrons, but nobody needs to be surrounded by that kinda negativity.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 28/09/2026

Before it was carved... Mount Rushmore's beauty was unpresidented.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

After the birth of your child, your role in life should become apparent.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Kohl’s does what now?

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 27/09/2026

My 4-year-old has been learning Spanish, and he still can't say the word please, which is poor for four.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 27/09/2026

My wife hates it when I introduce her as my ex-girlfriend.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 27/09/2026

My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler... Ever since, all I can think of is how to win her back.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 27/09/2026

Know why it costs $3.00 to put air in your tires these days? Inflation...

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 26/09/2026

One year ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful girl I've ever met to marry me... All 3 said NO.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors."

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I've decided to begin searching for my birth mother. I realise, of course, that I may never find her, but that's the risk I took when I drove her to IKEA…

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 25/09/2026

The adjective for metal is metallic. But not so for iron, which is ironic.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 25/09/2026

I know a lot of puns about cash machines, just can’t recollect one atm.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 25/09/2026

It's my first week working at the bicycle factory and they already made me their spokes person… Hope it doesn't make me too tired.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 25/09/2026

If Phish toured with Styx... Would it be called the Phish-Styx Tour?

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 25/09/2026

I'm sick of streaming and downloads. I'm going back to records, and that's vinyl!

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 24/09/2026

Just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think that's how I'm gonna watch all documentaries from now on.🤐🤔

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 24/09/2026

I wonder if Nomads ever get angry? 🤔

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 24/09/2026

My wife said she would leave me if I didn’t stop singing I’m a Believer. I thought she was joking. But then I saw her face.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 24/09/2026

Thanks for nothing, autocorrect! I'll never get a date being a homeless romantic!

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 24/09/2026

I asked my Gramma which walker she preferred. She said Johnnie.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I have an extreme phobia of German sausages. I truly fear the wurst.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 23/09/2026

You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 23/09/2026

I've just got a job making plastic Draculas. There are only 2 of us on the production line, so I have to make every second Count.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 23/09/2026

I keep asking people what they mean by “IDK”... but none of them seem to know.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I just saw my ex fiancé at the other side of the museum… But we couldn't talk because there’s too much history between us.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I’m trying to stop eating deli meat. But it’s really hard to quit eating cold turkey!

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 22/09/2026

What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack-o-lantern and divide it by it’s diameter? Pun-kin pi

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I just bought a crappy car that was made in Prague. The Czech engine light keeps coming on.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 22/09/2026

The guy who invented "Spell Check" died today. May he rust in piss.

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💥Richard with an💥R @rbwaltonthereal.com · 22/09/2026

My optician just told me I'm color blind. It was completely out of the green.

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