Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 09/10/2026every morning i wake up and ask my husband to teach me the difference between Goose and Geese 011
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 23/07/2026I’m watching movies on a plane. I watched The Christophers, and they mentioned dogs playing poker. i turned on The Accountant, which…also mentioned dogs playing poker. i think i am being haunted by dogs playing poker? 000
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 17/07/2026i would like to benefit from a google maps toggle for “shade” during my walking commute 000
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 03/06/2026the silence on banning leaf blowers from the LA mayoral candidates is deafening. or maybe that’s the leaf blowers 010
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 28/01/2026the brain is capable of such destructive thoughts. for example, my brain just pictured a hat that says “grindset.” (all lowercase, serifs) really disgusting stuff 010
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 14/10/2025I’m so sorry but this is what i think of every time i see people with labubus and shit hanging from their bags 072
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 21/09/2025in my day, there was a whole genre of blog post that was just variations on homemade, misspelled yard signs. i would give anything to see a yard sard 020
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 29/05/2025no i do not want 15% off no i do not want your newsletter no i will not accept your cookies no you can’t have my location no no No i won’t enable popups NO i won’t go off private browsing NO i will not stop RUNNING and you will NEVER CATCH ME 010
Reposted by Elyse CantorChris Conroy @conroyforreal.bsky.social · 09/01/2025Gotta say, congratulations to the developers of Watch Duty, whose service has been rock solid despite twenty million Californians hitting “refresh” every thirty seconds 216527
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 09/01/2025that fire’s not the only thing that’s wet 🫦 BA DUM TSSS 120
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 09/01/2025“you cannot kill me in a way that matters” is something i think about…idk, constantly? 281
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 30/12/2024i cannot stress this enough. there was no leaning of the phone, this man was actively holding up! his phone! for FIVE HOURS! watching!! NOTHING!!!! 000
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 30/12/2024just flew home behind a man who listened to music while holding his phone up and staring at it the entire flight. no video, no animation - just static album art, brightness higher than god. for five fucking hours. 100
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 15/12/2024girl i was reading it as Cake’s “The Distance” and that last line threw me off a fucking cliff 😂 040
Reposted by Elyse CantorElyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 15/12/2023hey, public water bottle filling stations? please don’t blink your red filter light at me. i don’t want to know. let me live in ignorance about this one thing, please 011
Reposted by Elyse CantorA stack of unread books in a trenchcoat @schyzm.bsky.social · 06/11/2024I'm still trying to understand how so many people could have such reckless, virulent hatred. How they could look at all the hate, all the crimes, all the promised hatred, and sit this out, or even vote for it. I just don't know. But Sir Terry Pratchett knew things. And this seems right for today. 4474154
Reposted by Elyse CantorElyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 22/05/2024I’m so bad at promoting things i do!!! i hate it so much!! anyway i was on my friend’s pod and i think i was mildly entertaining if you’re interested in that podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s... but probably you aren’t don’t even worry about it actually forget i said anything reallypodcasts.apple.comSteep Conversations With Josh Lanzet: S4E14: Elyse Cantor on Apple PodcastsShow Steep Conversations With Josh Lanzet, Ep S4E14: Elyse Cantor - May 7, 2024 011
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 22/05/2024I’m so bad at promoting things i do!!! i hate it so much!! anyway i was on my friend’s pod and i think i was mildly entertaining if you’re interested in that podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s... but probably you aren’t don’t even worry about it actually forget i said anything reallypodcasts.apple.comSteep Conversations With Josh Lanzet: S4E14: Elyse Cantor on Apple PodcastsShow Steep Conversations With Josh Lanzet, Ep S4E14: Elyse Cantor - May 7, 2024 011
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 19/05/2024there is only one way to survive the existential angst and the many horrors of living. and that is A Little Treat 020
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 17/04/2024on my way to Mexico City last year, every screen around us at the airport was looping ads that said “travel to New Mexico” and i said “New Mexico?? I’m trying to go to Old Mexico!” i thought it was hilarious and i still do. thanks 010
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 12/04/2024does anyone know why all of los angeles has smelled like burnt rubber and diesel for the last day and a half?? I can’t find anything on local news 000
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 09/03/2024instagram has us so fucked up. literally Helen of Troy could post a selfie and some man would be in her comments like “mid” 030
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 29/02/2024visiting family with basic cable, so clearly there is only one thing to watch (Friends reruns) and tonight, I saw it turn over from finale to restarting with the pilot, and it does kinda feel like finally seeing the dvd logo hit the corner 030
Reposted by Elyse CantorElyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 15/01/2024those fitness ropes but instead it’s me shaking out my duvet 011
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 23/01/2024weirdly finding two verified bots (???) posting the same word for word reply on some shitty take I didn’t want to see in the first place. serves me right 🫠 000
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 15/01/2024those fitness ropes but instead it’s me shaking out my duvet 011
Reposted by Elyse CantorMichael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 13/01/2024What's happening in Gaza is one the most odious, broad-daylight campaigns of terror against a civilian population in our lifetimes. The most important thing is drawing attention to that fact and working to stop it. Call it whatever the fuck you want. 5515109
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 09/01/2024idk how these kids play football so well when just cheering for them produces enough adrenaline in me to kill a horse 141
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 02/01/2024thank you to the michigan marching band for playing Rocky and Bullwinkle 🥲 me and one other dude got real hype with our pom poms 020
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 15/12/2023hey, public water bottle filling stations? please don’t blink your red filter light at me. i don’t want to know. let me live in ignorance about this one thing, please 011
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 08/12/2023omg my brother had this same menorah when we were little!! ❤️ 020
Reposted by Elyse Cantorcait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 29/09/2023we arbitrarily decided on a set of times that Work needs to be done based on absolutely nothing and if you can't easily and happily do that five days a week that's a mental illness 1826750
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 28/09/2023not sure studios considered how much annoying theater kid energy we are prepared to bring to this karaoke-themed picket #SAGonStrike 010
Elyse Cantor @elysedc.bsky.social · 28/09/2023it’s that time of year again when i try in vain to pull up the sheet and end up accidentally punching myself in the face 140
