Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 23/03/2026I updated my Etsy on Friday and I am DEVASTATED to report that neither the “Game Master” nor “Tiefling” mugs have been claimed. I guess I’m the only one who prefers playing Tiefling characters. And the GMs’ choices remain mysterious as usual. 3141
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 07/02/2026Never tell someone that you think they look like someone else. 90% of the time it’s insulting, and 10% of the time it is incorrect. 1280
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 07/02/2026I have never seen animals communicate “I want you to come sit next to me” by patting a seat, and yet they understand it when we do it to them. I have to assume they just don’t like us like that. 0210
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 03/02/2026What to get the romance smut lover in your life for Valentines Day? How about some handmade pottery from me - BooberryJones.Etsy.com! 0142
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 03/02/2026I have to imagine that Bari Weiss grew up with a poster of Les Moonves on her wall - so every night before bed she could point at it and whisper “someday I’m gonna be just like you, and completely ruin CBS.” 0301
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 30/01/2026Seeing tons of available parking around Los Angeles today - in places where it’s usually very hard to find. That seems promising. Anecdotal but promising. #generalstrike 0130
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 30/01/2026Doing the right thing can sometimes feel scary and lonely. Doing the right thing when you are surrounded by other people with your values, who trust and respect you - not scary or lonely. Seek out the people you need, and treat them well when you find them. 0283
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 27/01/2026I accidentally got confirmation about a celebrity gossip rumor that has not been publicly confirmed yet and being a respectful adult about it is KILLING ME. Let people have private lives… but also I FOUND THE CLUES AND FIGURED OUT A THING!! Ugh, you know?!? Anyway, back to living in a horror show. 6290
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 26/01/2026Look, if you already know that giggly pony-loving grandmas can be passionate neo-Nazis too, then The Necessary Conversation has nothing of note to teach you. 1140
Reposted by Eliza Skinner - comedianEric Michael Garcia @ericmgarcia.bsky.social · 25/01/2026I spent the last year writing a book about the ridiculous demands of what it means to be masculine. But a guy who takes care of people who served our country, asks a woman “are you ok?” When she is in distress and looks out for his vulnerable neighbors seems like a pretty good role model for a man. 303936642
Reposted by Eliza Skinner - comedianJosh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 25/01/2026It has never been more clear that community and solidarity are what keep people safe, and ICE as an institution is an obstacle to public safety. 4869106
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 24/01/2026And now again I leave the internet and go find people in real life to be with. I suggest you do the same. See a friend, go be nice to the bodega guy, go to a protest, improve your own community. It won’t fix the country but it helps make us each feel repaired and connected enough to keep fighting. 0220
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 24/01/2026It isn’t the fault of creators - it is not wrong for people to post with an expectation of a certain amount of normalcy in the world - but it is very unsettling to see reports of another horrific ICE execution sandwiched in between ads and shopping hauls. Just the algorithm displaying the dystopia. 2181
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 24/01/2026Finding fault or shitting on other people’s ideas is not what makes you valuable on a team - finding ways for other people’s ideas to succeed is. So if you see a risk or obstacle, the next move is to figure out how to overcome it. 1291
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 22/01/2026I know I am jinxing something here, but thank you to everyone who has said nice things about the Lorwyn Eclipsed music video (that I wrote.) The response from humans has been really nice, which helps a lot when you feel like you’re constantly up against AI slop! youtu.be/mCQ5EF69rSQ?...youtu.beA Boggart Ballad | Lorwyn Eclipsed Official Trailer | Magic: The GatheringYouTube video by Magic: The Gathering 3352
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 20/01/2026A guy friend of mine has started referring to his own forgetfulness as “perimenopause by proxy” and THAT IS QUALITY ALLYSHIP. 0121
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 15/01/2026So weird that my cat and dog feel like *they* can fight over the ownership of the couch THAT I BOUGHT BEFORE THEY WERE EVEN BORN. Like, you guys don’t even GO here. 1260
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 11/01/2026The problem is not that Stephen King is still shooting Boomer references into the zeitgeist like a fire hose - that’s what he is supposed to be doing. That’s his shit! The problem is we have no other populist literary juggernauts that rival him. Maybe it’s you! Maybe it’s me! Go write a book & see! 1192
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 09/01/2026Just watched the new episode of The Pitt after binging the entire first season in one setting while I had the flu this week. So now we just… wait? A whole week? You guys watch each season over FIFTEEN WEEKS?? That’s ridiculous. I feel like my heroin dealer just handed me an Advil. 5291
Reposted by Eliza Skinner - comedianThe Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 08/01/2026“Emerson does not have a mother today because one of you murdered a woman in cold blood yesterday.” 903199347075
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 08/01/2026I’ve had the flu all week. Here are the TV shows that I binged & how much they fucked me up: Heated Rivalry - (rewatch) fucked me up 0%, good time. The Pitt - fucked me up 20-50%, very stressful but doctors seem competent. Broadchurch - 100% fucked up. Gripped by dread. Nothing will ever be ok. 2261
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 05/01/2026One of my favorite projects from last year is finally out today! I wrote this video and song for Wizards Of The Coast and the Jim Henson Company - two great companies that taste great together! So much fun to work with so many great artists. youtu.be/TG1mJ7zpi10youtu.beReturn to the Land of Light and Shadow | Lorwyn Eclipsed DebutYouTube video by Magic: The Gathering 3193
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 05/01/2026I can’t believe we got Simp Text Adventure Robots before we got digital cameras that can take well-lit photos of people with different skin tones in the same frame. 0100
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026I wish there was a Sick Store, so when you’re sick you can just order the cold/flu package and they send over tissues, a heating pad, homemade soup and ginger tea. 0140
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Private message to freaks like me: The holiday bath bombs are 50% off at Lush now but you gotta go into the actual store. 070
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Finished a 7 season rewatch of Nurse Jackie today, starting The Pitt now. This is gonna be ok, right? It’s not like a TV speedball? 1150
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026If you’ve found yourself viewing men, or white people, or straight people as the default - the “cheese pizza” if you will, and every other kind of person else is just some kind of variety of toppings on it, I beg you to take a class or something this year. Go on a journey. Get smarter. It’ll be fun! 0274
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026When I see a shitty person I know becoming really successful online I like to lay back and enjoy the “tick tick tick tick” before that first big drop. 0210
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026I got a new haircut the day the US invaded Venezuela and no one mentioned it on the news :( 1150
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 04/01/2026I have become the unnecessary unofficial street team for Heated Rivalry. I’m less proud of the dozen or so people I have recommended it to who came back obsessed - the real point of pride is the one who RANTED to me about what TRASH it is & how she couldn’t BELIEVE she watched every single episode.😏 1150
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 01/01/2026Walking the dog on a rainy New Years Eve in Los Angeles, seeing everyone’s giant TVs through their windows, replaying Heated Rivalry. 0210
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 01/01/2026Every time I hear reports about Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie being out and about in Los Angeles I worry, because remember how they had to remove the Jack Sparrow walk-around character from Disney World because he kept being groped by horny moms? Stay safe fellas. 1120
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 31/12/20252026 top trend— Out: Bittersweet Symphonies In: Honey Mustard Rags 0100
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 31/12/2025Don’t forget to check inside your shoes before you put them on, because what if there is a great big crunchy spider in there? 190
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 27/12/2025My dog coughed and audibly farted at the same time and in my house we call that The Christmas Miracle. 1310
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 21/12/2025Get Hudson Williams in a Steve Perry biopic STAT and let me write it. 1130
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 21/12/2025The greatest bag ever fumbled was Restoration Hardware discontinuing their foot duvets. How did y’all fuck that up?? 1110
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 19/12/2025Some really impressive work being done the field of “not all men” in quote replies everywhere. 1151
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 17/12/2025I am confident that we could solve the male loneliness epidemic if men just started talking to people in their communities instead of into podcast microphones. 2433
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 16/12/2025Please watch Aparna Nancherla’s special, Hopeful Potato out NOW on Dropout! Aparna is the best, and the special was directed by the devastatingly gorgeous and very smart guy, me! 0496
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 15/12/2025LAST CHANCE FOR XMAS SALE - today and tomorrow everything is 20% off, but you gotta order by tomorrow to get it in time for Christmas. BooBerryJones.etsy.com 063
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 14/12/2025Sometimes I have to remind myself that everything I say in casual conversation does not have to establish my entire character, because I am not a character in a movie - and thank god bc movies are dead so I’d be screwed. 0210
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 12/12/2025Check in on your friends who know what they are doing. They don’t know what they are doing. Knowing what you’re doing is a trauma response. There is no “knowing” or “what”, only “doing.” Can this 👆 be a book proposal? Money por Eliza, s’il vous plait. 0200
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Hitting pause on my life until the US release of Pillion in February 2026. 1110
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 30/11/2025It’s time for some REAL cultural advancements - let’s start pronouncing P.M. and A.M “peem” and “ahm”. YOU CANT SPEND YOUR LIFE FEARING CHANGE, YOU COWARDS!! 0305
Reposted by Eliza Skinner - comedianNick Wester, PI @wehavesnacks.bsky.social · 28/11/2025I already bought the cool hand-crafted (Not) Poison mug featured in the preview, but there was one with a different handle and lots more cool stuff! It's artisanal, get a mug your future great grandkids will think you're a witch for having! 031
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 28/11/2025My mugs & jars Etsy shop update is live - and 25% off! Wall monsters & dishes coming Monday and the sale will continue…. BooBerryJones.etsy.com 1195
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 22/11/2025Seeing that BOTH versions of the Johnny Lee Miller / Benedict Cumberbatch Frankenstein are streaming on the National Theater App made me exclaim “ooh!” in a way only a confirmed hermit can. Very mumbly and hoarse, through a thick beard and mustache - but excited! 3241
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 21/11/2025I have become a creepy pottery reply guy. Every time I see a post of a cool bowl I gotta comment something like “gorgeous”, “beautiful”, or “hello bowl, do you need a sugar daddy to spoil you, $7000 a week, no nudes” 0281
Eliza Skinner - comedian @elizaskinner.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Send in the perimenopausal neurodivergent women. You think we haven’t been called names before? You think we don’t talk back to powerful idiots? Even if it will cost us a job/career/citizenship?? Oh boy - FILL THE PLANE WITH US. 0200