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Eli Parham

@eliparham.bsky.social
140 followers 431 following 92 posts

Lvl 35 goat, reader, coffee and sparkling water addict, tech trainer. I mostly just re-post articles from The Onion. 18+ only please 💙 @chipcottontail.bsky.social Pfp: @scarfshepherd.bsky.social

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Reposted by Eli Parham
Anthro SoCal @anthrosocal.org · 21/09/2026
As the last of the halls grow quiet, we'd like to thank everyone for attending #ASC2026. Our final attendee count is 7652, a new high score for us! We're so thankful and honored you chose to spend this weekend within our doors. Same time next year? 🩵🩵
Final attendance wrap-up graphic for Anthro SoCal. At the top, the ASC Anthro SoCal logo sits beside stylized text reading "RESULTS... How did we do?" The center features a massive yellow number, "7,652 Attendees!", next to a jagged pink-and-white burst badge proclaiming "NEW HIGH SCORE!" The background showcases a collage of photos from the convention floor, stages, and crowds of fursuiters. Text across the lower section reads: "The ASC Team thanks you from the bottom of our fluffy, furry hearts. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!"
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CoVahr 🦊🐉🎹 @covahr.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
And have another one for you! Just totally normal that a giant fluffy FoxDragon plays on the piano in the Gallery :D #furry #furryfandom #fursuiting
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The Onion @theonion.com · 10/09/2026
Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities theonion.com/trump-claims-9-11-atta…
Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities
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FurPlanet Productions @furplanet.com · 30/07/2026
End of summer sale! If you use summer2026 at checkout on FurPlanet.com, with a minimum purchase of $25, you'll get 10% off. And the same code can be used at baddogbooks.com when you spend $15 or more for 10% off as well. This is valid until the end of August. Sincerely, -Ajax
furplanet.com
FurPlanet - Furry Books and Comics
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/08/2026
Guy Who Sucks At Being A Person Sees Huge Potential In AI theonion.com/guy-who-sucks-at-being…
Guy Who Sucks At Being A Person Sees Huge Potential In AI
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Eli Parham @eliparham.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Eurofurence was probably one of the best cons I've been to. Sad to be leaving, but that just means it was that much fun!
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🌻 Sol/Kime OPEN COMMS 🌻 @kimemoonstar.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Help him cool off~ Simple color illustration for @eliparham.bsky.social 💖
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/08/2026
Observers told reporters the shrieking baby was clearly oblivious to the fact that any distress she experienced in exiting her mother’s womb would pale in comparison to the fucking decades of tedium, misfortune, and humiliation yet to come.
theonion.com
Crying Newborn Has No Idea How Much Worse It Gets
MEDFORD, OR—Saying the infant really ought to save her tears for the real shit that’s headed her way, sources familiar with crying newborn Sophia Whitfield confirmed Monday that she had no idea how mu...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/08/2026
“The autonomy of the Office of the Attorney General is paramount, and I will defend it against any act, statute, ordinance, or even basic common-law principle,” said Todd Blanche
theonion.com
Todd Blanche Vows To Remain Fully Independent Of The Law
WASHINGTON—Assuring the American people he would not let the legal system sway his judgment in any decision he makes, recently sworn-in Attorney General Todd Blanche vowed at a press conference Monday...
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Leon @leon-cheetah.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Sketch for Foxriel
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jrjresq @jrjr.esq · 11/08/2026
this is my goat OC Jet. what is bro BOPPING to????  #jrjresqArt #postybirb
my goat OC jet doing a little jig while flopping his bits around
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Sweet Macchi @sweetmacchi.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
I drew a little painting of @jordif0x.bsky.social LETS GO! Been working on render and on anatomy recently ^^ LETS GO! I love art ^^
A gay brown fox lies on the bed looking at the viewer the brown fox is Jordi, and he wears red pyjama shorts,
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Hoofurs —> BLFC 2026 @hoofurs.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
BAAA Goat Day!
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/08/2026
“Female Americans, you are being called upon to serve the most important men in our country,” said Hegseth
bit.ly
U.S. Instates Military Wife Draft
WASHINGTON—Pledging to do everything in his power to ensure the mental and physical needs of his troops were being fulfilled, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Thursday that the United States h...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 31/07/2026
Iran War Enters 6th Justification
Iran War Enters 6th Justification
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Sweet Macchi @sweetmacchi.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
LETS GO!! I'm so looking forward to my new sona! LETS GO! LETS GO! ^^ I want to paint my character more in the future ^^ I love art so much!! Thank you everyone ^^
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Eli Parham @eliparham.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Almost got in a fight on my run today. Bird was not happy that I was in their neighborhood.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/07/2026
Everyone In Oval Office Meeting Currently In Some Stage Of Stroke
Everyone In Oval Office Meeting Currently In Some Stage Of Stroke
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Jackaloo 🪴 @jackaloo.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Support your local library! Every time a new library card is issued, Jack gets a boner :3 make him so hard he explodes!
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Leon @leon-cheetah.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Comm for Eli
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Ravalska @ravalska.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
The Button
Rav gets fingered and is nervousRav gets finger but likes it
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/07/2026
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum theonion.com/trump-warns-iran-to-ac…
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
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Reposted by Eli Parham
The Onion @theonion.com · 21/07/2026
It Only Tuesday theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-181956…
It Only Tuesday
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/07/2026
A24’s ‘Elden Ring’ Film Stalled After Red Phantom Named TwinkPunisher Invades Set theonion.com/a24s-elden-ring-film-s…
A24’s ‘Elden Ring’ Film Stalled After Red Phantom Named TwinkPunisher Invades Set
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/07/2026
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts theonion.com/mike-johnson-struggles…
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/07/2026
“It may be hard to tell from where you’re sitting, but trust me, I’m not taking it easy in Dreamland,” said the 80-year-old Donald Trump
theonion.com
Trump Insists Frequent Naps Necessary To Protect U.S. Interests In Dreamland
WASHINGTON—Vehemently defending his controversial closed-eye moments, President Donald Trump insisted Monday that his frequent naps were necessary to protect U.S. interests in Dreamland. “It may be ha...
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Chunie @chunie.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Gym Showoff! www.patreon.com/chunie/posts... subscribestar.art/posts/2555858
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The Onion @theonion.com · 17/07/2026
Mitch McConnell Clarifies Absence Due To Brief Planned Trip To Afterlife theonion.com/mitch-mcconnell-clarif…
Mitch McConnell Clarifies Absence Due To Brief Planned Trip To Afterlife
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The Onion @theonion.com · 15/07/2026
Guy Violently Coughing On Bus Better Just Have Throat Cancer theonion.com/guy-violently-coughing…
Guy Violently Coughing On Bus Better Just Have Throat Cancer
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The Onion @theonion.com · 15/07/2026
Barack Obama Pretends To Be Canadian While Traveling Abroad theonion.com/barack-obama-pretends-…
Barack Obama Pretends To Be Canadian While Traveling Abroad
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The Onion @theonion.com · 10/07/2026
GOP Allies Claim They Met With Mitch McConnell Inside Body Bag theonion.com/gop-allies-claim-they-…
GOP Allies Claim They Met With Mitch McConnell Inside Body Bag
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Logan V. 🌱 { 𓃥𓃥𓃦 } @animalshapes.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Among giants 🌲 #art | #commissions
Vizsla! He/him
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/07/2026
Study: 97% Of Average American’s Day Spent Retrieving 6-Digit Codes theonion.com/study-97-of-average-am…
Study: 97% Of Average American’s Day Spent Retrieving 6-Digit Codes
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The Onion @theonion.com · 05/07/2026
Supreme Court Trans Sports Ruling Adopts Originalist Vision For JV Volleyball Rosters
theonion.com
Supreme Court Trans Sports Ruling Adopts Originalist Vision For JV Volleyball Rosters
WASHINGTON—In a judgment the majority of justices said reflected the intentions of the Founding Fathers, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a 6-3 ruling this week that upheld state bans on transgender athl...
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Statiik ⚠️⚡️MP @statiik.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
uwu
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Eli Parham @eliparham.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Waking to my office today, I saw another guy going towards his. He was wearing basketball shorts, a T-shirt, and shiny, polished dress shoes with no socks. I must know his story.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/07/2026
Landlord Forced To Raise Rent Due To Thinking Of Bigger Number theonion.com/landlord-forced-to-rai…
Landlord Forced To Raise Rent Due To Thinking Of Bigger Number
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The Onion @theonion.com · 01/07/2026
Trump Indicates Desire For Speedy End To World theonion.com/trump-indicates-desire…
Trump Indicates Desire For Speedy End To World
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The Onion @theonion.com · 29/06/2026
Missed Call From Dad At 9 A.M. Strikes Terror Into Area Man’s Heart theonion.com/missed-call-from-dad-a…
Missed Call From Dad At 9 A.M. Strikes Terror Into Area Man’s Heart
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Jackaloo 🪴 @jackaloo.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I went to the zoo and had a moment with a large fish where we just stared at each other for a long time.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 29/06/2026
White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair theonion.com/white-house-mocks-palt…
White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair
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Sweet Macchi @sweetmacchi.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Here's an art piece done for @lonlycon.de !!! LETS GO !!! I'm super proud of how this one turned out ^^ I love art ^^
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𓋹 ᴀ s ʜ ᴇ 𓋹 🔜 🎂 Oct. 8th 🎂 @ashenhowl.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Stop using Sticker Mule and go use @bearandbeagle.store's amazing services instead please! bearandbeagle.store
bearandbeagle.store
Bear & Beagle
A small, furry-owned business focused on printing your vinyl stickers, badges, prints and more!
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/06/2026
“This game glamorizes life in Florida to such an outrageous extent that it’s easy to see how young minds could be fooled into thinking that relocating to the Sunshine State wouldn’t be the worst decision they ever made,” said activist Marcie Escobedo
theonion.com
Critics Warn ‘GTA VI’ Could Inspire Impressionable Teens To Live In Florida
WASHINGTON—In an effort to alert parents to the potentially dangerous consequences of playing the highly anticipated game, critics warned Thursday that Grand Theft Auto VI could inspire impressionable...
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Seyumei @seyumei.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Footsie Fail #anthro #furry #ocs #comic #goat #doberman #paws #hooves
Goat and dog on a diner date. Dog looks surprised.Goat rubs his hoof on dog's footpaw flirtatiously. Goat seems to be struggling a bit.Goat struggles to get his hoof to pay footsie with dog's footpaw. Dog seems confused on what he's trying to do.Goat struggles some more and eventually gives up, saying that he needs toes.
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Eli Parham @eliparham.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I don't think I'll ever understand the point of LinkedIn.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/06/2026
GOP Urges Democrats To Tone Down Rhetoric Used To Quote President Verbatim theonion.com/gop-urges-democrats-to…
GOP Urges Democrats To Tone Down Rhetoric Used To Quote President Verbatim
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/06/2026
Mom Takes Hushed Monologue In Movie As Cue To Go To Kitchen, Wash 5 Pots theonion.com/mom-takes-hushed-monol…
Mom Takes Hushed Monologue In Movie As Cue To Go To Kitchen, Wash 5 Pots
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juiceps @juiceps.art · 19/06/2026
taking a break ~for @chipcottontail.bsky.social #furryart #yiff
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