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Parody account of myself

@efgearman.bsky.social
100 followers 291 following 928 posts

Programmer, server support, sometimes help desk. I've never met a cat I didn't like. Like, but never had, most dogs. Tired all the time. Amateur doofus (in that no one pays me to be a doofus)

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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Ya know, the goal isn't to make D.C. look like something out of Thundarr the Barbarian.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Hey @discord.com You want to tell me why my account, which was working on Friday (5/1) is now not letting me log in or telling me that my email is not valid?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
Random phone call about wanting to buy my townhouse. Been a bit since I've gotten one of those aaaaand I don't miss them one bit.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
@support.blizzard.com We hate the meeple icon that appears in chat. Give us some way to disable it. Or at least pass our request on to the dev team.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
Breaking News: Trump to bring back "Presidential Fitness Test" Other news: Trump unable to score above a 12 (out of 100) on Presidential Fitness Test
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 13/07/2025
How legal is it (in SC) for a hospital to bill for a procedure more than a year ago? I would swear that the ~$2800 that just got added to what I "owe" was not there a month ago.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
I need two things: 1) When driving, no song plays that has sirens in it. 2) When at home, no music that has cat yowls going on in it. I honestly need a lot more than that, but I settle for this for a bit.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
A former co-worker made one of these and stuck it on the ceiling over my desk. When we closed that office, we left it on the ceiling.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
Why does it feel like the Three Stooges would be better at things then the current administration?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
I'm kind of surprised that no car company has tried for a direct shot at Tesla... Ford: "Our trucks don't fall apart in the cold." Chevy: "You can go over rough ground and snow in our trucks." VW: "We haven't been run by fascists for decades."
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AlmightyRayzilla @almightyrayzilla.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
reskeet this if anti-trans people are not welcome and unsafe with you.
A parody of the Gadsden "don't tread on me" flag, with Godzilla locked in battle with the snake in a city. The snake is coiled around Godzilla, while Godzilla blasts its neck with his atomic breath. It is captioned "I tread where I want!" (drawn 2023)
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
Anyone else, on leaving your residence, tell your pets where you are going and when you'll be back?
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Reposted by Parody account of myself
💥 @dynamoe.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
Stop Forcing A.I. into Fucking EVERYTHING!
Gold Banner on Red Background:

Stop Forcing A.I. into Fucking EVERYTHING!
Nobody Asked For It; Everyone Hates It
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 30/10/2024
Let's keep it simple. Don't vote for the angry, racist, sexist, orange man.
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Reposted by Parody account of myself
Mike Masnick @masnick.com · 22/09/2024
This made the rounds a few weeks ago, pre-Bluesky video, but now it needs to be here. No idea who created it, but here's David Attenborough narrating the "evolutionary disadvantaged" Cybertruck.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 19/08/2024
A dear friend of mine needs multiple surgeries to deal with a lot of pain. Please help if you can. www.gofundme.com/f/support-he...
gofundme.com
Support Heather's Journey Through Multiple Surgeries, organized by Heather Davis
Hi, I’m Heather. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done… Heather Davis needs your support for Support Heather's Journey Through Multiple Surgeries
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 06/08/2024
This is for one of my best friends. gofund.me/7b31fce8 Heather is going through a tough time with multiple surgeries ahead, and each donation really helps lessen the financial burden on her. Could you click the link below to donate or share it with others? Thanks a bunch!
gofund.me
Support Heather's Journey Through Multiple Surgeries, organized by Heather Davis
Hi, I’m Heather. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done… Heather Davis needs your support for Support Heather's Journey Through Multiple Surgeries
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 03/08/2024
Micro-fiction (related to previous one): Phil didn't know what to call it. Clubhouse. Meeting place. Crash pad. Sty. All fit. And from the figure snoring on the couch, both of which had seen better days, it would be hard to argue which was most appropriate.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 08/07/2024
Micro-fiction: “Don’t say it,” said Phil, a bit wearily. “What?” asked the smaller man said next to him with a slightly injured expression on his face. “No ‘Life is definitely extinct’ or ‘Living people have more blood’ or even ‘I thought he’d be taller’. I don’t need it today, Sam.”
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 15/06/2024
Make a band less mild. Hateful Dead
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 29/05/2024
Medical like question of which some of you might know the answer (including @rahaeli.bsky.social ). Is a numb 'tip of the tongue' a semi-normal side effect from sedation?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 28/05/2024
I don't follow baseball that much. But when I saw a headline of "Baseball's most hated umpire is retiring", I immediately thought "Well, Angel Hernandez leaving will hopefully better the games somewhat"
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 27/05/2024
@nash076.bsky.social you've probably already been sent this, buuuuuuuut.... www.cnn.com/2024/05/25/u...
cnn.com
Primate remains on the loose in South Carolina | CNN
A search is still underway for a pet primate who escaped last week from his habitat in South Carolina, according to a news release on Sunday from Colleton County Animal Services.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 25/04/2024
As @rahaeli.bsky.social has said before, "embodiment was a mistake." Today's episode: I find out I have a 2.5 cm kidney stone.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 11/04/2024
Hey, @nash076.bsky.social It happened again!
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 09/04/2024
I do wonder if anyone in the eclipse totality area held up a sonic screwdriver and shouted something appropriate.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 03/04/2024
Well, my little jar of tiger balm has not gone bad.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 29/03/2024
If anyone would know if there's a shorter term for this, I feel it would be @rahaeli.bsky.social or @funranium.bsky.social "Do a software workaround because the vendor can't be arsed to fix a minor bug."
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 25/03/2024
Two of my best friend's eldest child turned 21 today. I visited them in the hospital on the day they were born. I was wondering why my hip was hurting so much. Those two things should not be related, but they are.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 25/03/2024
It's start of the 'asset surrender' season! What's your pick of the least favorite orange person's assets you'd like to see taken away?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 10/03/2024
@nash076.bsky.social - don't suppose you know any decent way to turn of MS notifications asking if I want their new AI assistant?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 04/03/2024
☕ Our savior of blessed caffeine, hallowed by thy bean. The brew is done, let's get shit done. And not suffer from a migraine. ☕ If someone came up with this before me, let me know so I can properly thank them, but I think I came up with this today (I could have read it somewhere).
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 03/03/2024
Finished reading all of the Rachel Peng books by @kbspangler.com Now I have to find other stuff to read for a bit until I can re-read all of them while also waiting for the next book to come out.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 21/02/2024
Just ordered all 5 of @kbspangler.com Rachel Peng books. They won't be here until Friday. Deciding between knocking myself out for a couple days or playing lots of video games.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 14/02/2024
What do you pour out in remembrance of the inventor of pop-tarts?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 01/02/2024
I get an email with the subject "Greatness starts here" and immediately wonder how @neolithicsheep.bsky.social got my email address.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 16/01/2024
Sir, I am trying to work.
My cat Spot, sitting on my wrist while I try to code.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 12/01/2024
Thanks to <local hospital system>'s and <major insurance company>'s continued arguments, save for emergency visits, it's all out of pocket for me ('cept for doc in the box). I'm all for getting the execs on both sides into a locked room with socks and half bricks, ala BOFH.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 15/12/2023
@nash076.bsky.social did you see this yet? www.thelocal.se/20231214/swe...
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 29/11/2023
@nash076.bsky.social and @mithras.bsky.social What would you suggest for a router for home use? 1 PC, one laptop, a tablet and phone should be the only things connecting to it. The current iteration keeps dropping all connections 2-3 times a day.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 21/11/2023
I have taken to referring to my cat Spot as 'Site Manager Spot' in internal corporate messages, emails, etc. He doesn't seem to mind.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 18/11/2023
And time to print out some code and build a truth table for the various things I need the code to do, but might not be doing. #geekworldproblems
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 17/11/2023
Guh... accidentally nuked a character in a D&D campaign on the D&D site and can't rejoin that campaign until I get a new link, which means all the books in that campaign are unavailable... #geekworldproblems
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 08/11/2023
Just hit me that in the Web Comic 'Questionable Content' by @ass.golf we will eventually see the boat that Steve bought... since that's the only way to get to CubeTown. If you don't read the comic, you won't get this...
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 04/10/2023
Well... I don't feel any more like a zombie. Then again, I don't feel any less like a zombie.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 03/10/2023
Cat comes up the stairs but somehow stumbles on the last step a touch. Looks over at me with a "That did NOT happen" kind of stare.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 02/10/2023
Got the flu and covid shots a little bit ago. We'll see if @rahaeli.bsky.social advice helps with not feeling like utter crap for the next day or two. Hopefully it will help, but if it doesn't, well... everyone biochemistry is a bit different, yeah?
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
If you can read this, you weren't raptured. Of course, neither were the folks expecting the rapture tonight, but I think that should go without saying.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 20/09/2023
Melon's brain chip thing is starting human trials. In case you were wondering how long it was going to be before something he was involved in killed more people.
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Parody account of myself @efgearman.bsky.social · 17/09/2023
I occasionally check xhitter to see if I've gotten any new notifications. Each time I don't, I add one day to the 'next check' value.
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