Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I'm sending the weather to jail I'm tired of this shit 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 03/10/2026If you cracked open Gilbert's bladder it would look like a geode inside 031
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Why would they name a fish a pudding wife instead of me 001
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Yuh huh! It's gonna look hilarious when the soyjak gets all moldy inside so it looks like he's so excited he's frothing up or releasing spores 010
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 01/10/2026FOR ME?! You're such a sweetheart! [Giving him a big ole smooch on the cheek before wetly digging into the cheeseburger like a Carl's Jr commercial] 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I think I'd rather Gilbert flash me with gore than those screenshots 🤢 001
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Nah I just think Gilbert might be radioactive or old enough to have been around when humans still had tails 010
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Suspiciously sounds like something someone who secretly has a tail would say 020
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Hopefully I can unclog my garbage disposal with coke and mentos 010
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Sounds like you need to make a bigger explosion next time HAHAHA 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Even better! You're chilling then! Did you get new digs or is it the same one just repaired? 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Oh yeah that part...hmmm. Well normally I'd offer up my couch or the banana bed but I promised I'd housesit for Antonio soon and I don't want to get annoyed by the midterm campaigners while I'm gone. Uh. You good on like food and water? Toilet paper? 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Oh mood. Folks here get blown to smithereens every summer LOL. Need help replacing it? My brother's like, way into plants 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Wait what kind of plant was blown up? Like a leaf one or nuclear??? 010
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 06/09/2026We were all hanging out and Gilbert threw Antonio so I thought it'd be fun to throw Matt and so I peer pressured him into saying yes so yeah [He tilts his head back so he can get his peepers on his man] Do you not get to play rough with your sisters ever? 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 06/09/2026[He's leaning back into it. Bro's muscles are tight as hell] Woof. I think I'm losing my edge. I was only able to throw Matt like a hundred yards today 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 06/09/2026static.klipy.comMy Hero Academia MhaALT: My Hero Academia Mha 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 06/09/2026We're throwing people? Hell yeah!! Time to send my brother into orbit! He's always wanted to see space!! 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Hell yeah! Score! I'm totally down for that bro! Just let me know when you'll need me like a few days before so I can get Tony to housesit and watch my cat 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Bro I'm like totally the strongest guy ever I can handle a couple sheep. And I'm way ahead of you in the hat department 🤠 When're you leaving? 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Oh yeah for sure dude! You know I love wrangling and wrassling! Is it just the bulls or do you have anyone else needing tending? 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026You know I meant sport when I said game man. But like I said, it's chill. If anything it gives me motivation to be better so I can annihilate everybody during the Olympics! [Antonio doesn't have to work hard to make him smile or look stupid. He does both naturally] 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026[Nope! He's like a hippo, you expect him to be gushy but he's actually completely firm due to the sheer amount of muscle he's packing. Utterly stacked] Psh, I'm already like the top best forever and ever in everything that matters. I'm not bitter about one game. I got several to look forward to! 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026You are literally number one in the world right now at soccer, everyone can look up sick paper airplane instructions and do them nowadays Also haha got you to call it soccer 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Soccer is a silly gay sport, you've gotta beat me in a MAN'S competition: see whose paper airplane lands the furthest 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026(( If you do then she and Paullus can be sexy dumbasses together 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I will do you one better. Two day blinding stew 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I refuse to feel bad about someone with MΑGΑ bling 100
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I'm so sorry dude but we've gotta put you down 110
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 27/08/2026We need to put Gilbert into a plastic storage bin with liquid like the warning labels 020
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Oh! Ok yeah I get what you're saying! Then yeah there will totally be more hats! 001
Reposted by Alfred F. Jonesemil ingolfsson @lakkrisaddict.bsky.social · 22/08/2026this guy's an ASSHOLE to acorns 002
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Imagine the guy who sees magical creatures having no joy or whimsy 030
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 22/08/2026I'm sorry acorns, it's what's for the best oTL 000
Alfred F. Jones @eagletears.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Hmmm...you ever heard of oobleck? Maybe you could fill a balloon with that 000
