мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 10hMy parents told me that there was a smoking lounge for students when they were in high school! The smell of cigarette smoke makes me so nauseous, and I can smell it on someone from a mile away. 🤢 000
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 11hThe worst part about kissing a cute guy with a huge hog is how cold the mirror feels against your lips. 2292
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 11hWe're a proud people. Now grab a plate and come try some of this hotdish. 230
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 13hSo that's where he's been hiding! I haven't seen him in years. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 14hThe joy that fills my soul when the obnoxious kid who’s been screaming and running around the restaurant finally meets the one obstacle they couldn’t outrun: a table. 🥰 1280
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 03/10/2026And happy Frottober for all who enjoy occasional frottage. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Happy Frocktober to all who enjoy dressing for a special occasion. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 03/10/2026When I was a kid, you could smoke in restaurants. I hated it, but they made you do it anyway. 5272
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Oh, mythical Costco churro, how I love thee. Let me bite the ways. 3371
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I told you that we’re just going to the Cheesecake Factory and a movie. How many singlets do you need?! 220
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 02/10/2026If a door closes while another one opens, your house is haunted. Leave immediately. 2294
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Every day people say things to me, and I just look at them like this until it's over. 4612
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026It’s cool, after the birthday you had I’m sure you really need attention today. Proceed. 100
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026An early Christmas present, courtesy of the Clock Twink. 3394
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I don’t know, Siri AI definitely has her uses. 😉 (I kid, I kid) 100
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026The one that serves half-turkey sandwiches and matzo ball soup. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I think it’s great that Evil finally became a resident. After all those years of med school, it was about time. 010
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026This is what happens when you drink so much that you miss important memos. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Did it ever occur to you that I’m just incredibly self-centered?! 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026You post so many pics a day, your page is basically a flipbook. If I scroll fast enough, I can see you moving! 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I do enjoy the surprise of the inevitable seven pictures you’ll post of your next drink in a 30-minute span. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Chad and Jon are both adorable in a way that’s equal parts endearing and absurdly annoying. 110
мɑгκ @drumrollplease.bsky.social · 01/10/2026We both know you can do better. Why don’t you come back tomorrow and try again? 000
