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Discworld Quotes

@discworldquotes.bsky.social

Behold A'Tun, the World Turtle. Funny & melancholy moments from the grandiose fantasy world of Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 28/10/2025

in the nuddy?

"And the armor stays here?"

Qu beamed. "Yes, Your Grace. Everything. Eyepatch, socks, everything."

"Boots, too?"

"Yes. Everything."

"What about my drawers?"

"Yes, those too. Everything."

"So I'll arrive in the nuddy?"

"The one costume that's in fashion anywhere," said Sweeper, grinning.

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Micah @rincewind.run · 30/08/2025

Discworld QOTD, from Snuff “Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way, Drumknott. It’s good for the hygiene of the brain.”

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

from Night Watch

People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.

As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn't measure up.

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

from Night Watch

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

Ah, Mister Civilized Ankh-Morpork.

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

Going Postal Chapter 14: Deliverance

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OrcGirlBoss 🐇🏹 @orc.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

Killed us by numbers.

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OrcGirlBoss 🐇🏹 @orc.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

You have killed 2.338 people.

"Yes," Pump said. "You Have A Talent. It Is A Pity You Misuse It."

"Do you understand anything I'm saying?" shouted Moist. "You can't just go around killing people!"

"Why Not? You Do." The golem lowered his arm.

"What?" Moist. "I do not! Who told you that?"

"I Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Three Eight People," said the golem calmly.

"I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr. Pump. I may be-all the things you know I am, but I am not a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!"

"No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded, And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr. Lipvig. You Have Ruined Businesses And Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have Hastened The Deaths Of Many. You Did Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Bread From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr. Lipvig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game."

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

'Give a man fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life' ~Jingo

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life." -STP, The Last Continent

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

On slums: "Owning a hundred slum properties wasn’t a crime, although living in one was, almost." 1 "And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions." 2

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_t...

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

This is all what you have to do, you walk along the Streets at Night, shouting, It’s Twelve O’clock and All’s Well. I said, What if it is not all well, and he said, You bloody well find another street!

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

The world wasn’t moved by heroes or villains or even by policemen. It might as well be moved by symbols.

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Discworld Quotes @discworldquotes.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

Only once, in the entire history of witchery on the Ramtops, had a thief broken into a witch's cottage. The witch concerned visited the most terrible punishment on him.*

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