iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild

@direkris.itch.io

2.6K followers 529 following 6.4K posts

I made YOU ARE JEFF BEZOS. no pronouns or they/them

Posts Replies Media

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 4m

7. Event Horizon After a week of broccoli I deserve a bit of chocolate

A poster for Event Horizon. It shows a spaceship in orbit of a planet and a bolt of lightning striking the ship. The tagline reads, “INFINITE SPACE, INFINITE TERROR.”

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 5h

I’m sorry?

It’s an Instacart listing for a chocolate parfait cake, but it’s listed under “Prepared Breakfast.”

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 23h

6. Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum I mean... it's not bad by any means but if I wanted this exact premise I would go rewatch Grave Encounters

A poster for Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum. It shows a dark hallway of an abandoned mental hospital and several ghost hunters with flashlights. The tagline reads, "1 of the 7 freakiest places in the world."

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 06/10/2026

I am now reading The Martian and would you believe it, there’s politics here too!

LOG ENTRY: SOL 14
I got my undergrad degree at the University of Chicago. Half the people who studied botany were hippies who thought they could return to some natural world system. Somehow feeding seven billion people through pure gathering. They spent most of their time working out better ways to grow pot. I didn't like them. I've always been in it for the science, not for any New World Order bullshit.
When they made compost heaps and tried to conserve every little ounce of living matter, I laughed at them. "Look at the silly hippies! Look at their pathetic attempts to simulate a complex global ecosystem in their backyard."

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 06/10/2026

5b. Final Destination 2 Pretty forgettable apart from the log truck scene, which starts off the film. I'll be reading Wikipedia plot summaries for the others

A poster for Final Destination 2. It shows the main characters beneath lightning and a skull face.

300

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 05/10/2026

5. Final Destination Filling another egregious gap in my genre knowledge. I had no idea it was just a full on comedy

A poster for Final Destination. It shows the main characters looking anxiously at the viewer while a skull and lightning looms above.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 05/10/2026

4. The Ugly Stepsister Somehow wish they'd gotten all the way through without adding a magical element, but obviously it's not in the stepsister's favor, so

A poster for The Ugly Stepsister. It shows a woman's foot clad in a white silk slipper. The toe is stained red with blood and there is a butcher knife beside the foot.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 04/10/2026

Matt Damon in The Martian with a speech bubble implying he’s saying the quoted skeet.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 03/10/2026

3. It (1990) I think I saw part of it in high school? Even more fatphobic than I remember, and that was about ALL I remembered

A theatrical poster for Stephen King’s It (1990). It is a white image with the upper right corner torn away to reveal Pennywise, a scary clown with claw hands.

100

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 03/10/2026

2. The Lost Boys Nope, never seen this one before either. Who knew the only thing that could defeat a homoerotic Kiefer Sutherland was a plucky few parentified comics nerds

The poster for The Lost Boys. Kiefer Sutherland is smirking with bleached spiky hair, surrounded by other cool teens.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 02/10/2026

I will not be taking questions at this time

My Letterboxd Recent Activity. Sleepaway Camp (2.5 stars), Together (3 stars), Resident Evil (4.5 stars), and Heart Eyes (2.5 stars).

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 02/10/2026

1. Sleepaway Camp Yes, I’d never seen it before, yes, I already had the twist spoiled for me by 40 years of queer studies discourse, no, I do not think Judy had it coming

A poster for Sleepaway Camp (1983). It depicts a bloody knife rising from the water, piercing a sneaker. Above it is part of a letter from a camper to their parents.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 01/10/2026

Jason, a black shorthair cat, wears an orange and purple jester’s ruff for Halloween.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 29/09/2026

Hey, October? I JUST WANT TO TALK

A screenshot of my local weather forecast. It shows temperatures in the 80s until Friday, where it shoots up to 90, and remains in the mid-90s until whenever the angry gods are satisfied.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 27/09/2026

Bryan from Resident Evil (2026 dir Zach Cregger) smiles with a speech bubble below him, implying he is speaking the quoted skeet.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 18/09/2026

She is now very close to falling off the dresser. Her paw hangs over the edge in addition to her head.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 18/09/2026

She keeps sleeping like this

A black shorthaired cat is sleeping atop a dresser with her head hanging off the side perilously, as though she might slip over. She has in fact done this before.

A closer look.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 16/09/2026

Reading Project Hail Mary from Mr “No Politics” Weir and quelle surprise, it’s rife with politics

"Well," he said. "It was funded by New Zealand. But the idea was to provide power for Africa."
"Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help
Africa?" I asked.
"Because we're nice," Redell said.
"Wow," I said. I know New Zealand is pretty cool but-"
"And it was going to be a New Zealand-owned company that charged for the power," Redell said.
"There it is."

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 15/09/2026

Her life is so hard

A black shorthaired cat lies on her side on a torn-up rug. She looks like she has done literally anything but sleep in sunbeams all day.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 15/09/2026

"Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave."

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 13/09/2026

My Jason was also adopted on a Friday the 13th, in 2012!

A black shorthaired cat sits in a cardboard box.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 11/09/2026

Whoop never done one of these before (I don't watch many movies these days)

A Letterboxd screencap of my recent viewing activity: Iron Lung (3 stars), Camp Miasma (4.5 stars), Pulse (2 stars), and Obsession (2.5 stars).

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 10/09/2026

Markiplier is sad and covered in blood.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 10/09/2026

I always confuse that with Red Lights, a much worse Murphy film. Oh, but he IS sad and wet in that one

Cillian Murphy at the end of Red Lights, looking up as he's rained upon. He's bloody. He is sad and wet and reportedly a man.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 10/09/2026

Maybe he's angrier than sad but he's sad on the INSIDE

Izzy Hands from Our Flag Means Death.

100

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 09/09/2026

Drunken meltdown in front of your peers, maybe?

Michael from The Good Place is wearing his clothes weird and sunglasses at night, holding a martini and saying, "Birth is a curse and existence is a prison."

100

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 04/09/2026

Yeh, I guess that tracks.

A map of the United States indicating the regions my accent is most/least like. The western US is mostly red (similar) and the southeast is mostly blue (dissimilar). The website is mydialect.us.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 02/09/2026

The coyote has weighed in on New Vegas

A screen cap from a Reddit AMA with Wile E Coyote. The user asks, “have you ever played fallout new vegas,” to which an unimpressed Mr Coyote replies via a sign board, “LEFT A BIKE AT MESQUITE MOUNTAIN CRATER.”

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 30/08/2026

A close up of a shorthaired black cat. She is resting her chin on the edge of a dresser, looking contemplative.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 28/08/2026

Speaking of lost millennial culture

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 25/08/2026

A slumbering void.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 22/08/2026

Did you know there are actually FOUR secret endings to You Are Elon Musk? Three of them are randomly chosen. Collect them all! direkris.itch.io/elon

"I'll bet," I say. I hop down from my high-backed chair and waddle across the floor to a giant lever you didn't notice before. "Anyway, you're all set to go! The rocket's got enough food and air to last you the nine months' travel time, and I've packed enough indie games to keep you from getting bored. Think of me when you're homesteading on a brave new world, huh? Maybe name a hill after me."

Hang on, that's it? What about, I don't know, modular tents or farming equipment or--
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Hell yeah, getting my ass to Mars!

When you woke up this morning from unsettling dreams, you found yourself changed in your casing into a squat and cute instrument of industry disruption.

You are a food delivery robot.

When you woke up this morning from unsettling dreams, you found yourself changed in your plastic shoes into the uncanny valley likeness of Pedro Pascal.

You are a Disneyland animatronic.

When you woke up this morning from unsettling dreams, you found yourself changed in your projection platform into a digital sex pet.

You are a Razer holographic waifu jar.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 20/08/2026

Amemiya Darumi from 100 Line Last Defense Academy is speaking the quoted skeet.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 18/08/2026

Armand and Daniel Molloy from The Vampire Lestat, with a speech bubble coming off Daniel implying he's saying the quoted skeet to him.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 18/08/2026

I heard Black Cat Appreciation Day

A black shorthaired cat looks over her shoulder at the camera.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 15/08/2026

Spotted this one recently, similar mood

Let me merge or everybody dies.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 13/08/2026

"I used to be tall and spiky too" "Sure Grandma Appalachia, let's get you to bed"

An old lady uses a walker, accompanied by a younger woman.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 13/08/2026

It's so cute when people on the east coast talk about mountains

A topographical map of the US showing that there are far more, and steeper, mountain ranges in the west half of the country.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 09/08/2026

Don’t remember that part from the IWTV TV show

“Two-that the Dark Gifts must never be given to the crippled, the maimed, or to children, or to those who cannot, even with the Dark Powers, survive on their own. Be it further understood that all mortals who would receive the Dark Gifts should be beautiful in person so that the insult to God might be greater when the Dark Trick is done.” From Anne Rice’s The Vampire Lestat.

100

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 05/08/2026

Sometimes someone I follow has a bad take and I’m just like

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 04/08/2026

Jason and the rug she has destroyed

A shorthaired black cat lies on a brown, torn up rug. She is lying in such a way that it looks like she’s standing and the perspective is askew.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 04/08/2026

Oh I don't like this. Too Facebook

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 03/08/2026

Went to Watch Duty to see how close the Spokane fire was to my brother and uh Yeah this is just what summers are like now I guess

A screenshot of Watch Duty showing a map of North America. There are a fuck ton of fires everywhere but especially in the west.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 29/07/2026

She’s so regal

A shorthaired black cat sits with her front paws before her. She has exactly two white whiskers, one on each side of her face.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 14/07/2026

Jason after I told her how old she is

A black cat looks just off-camera, her mouth appearing like a frown.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 13/07/2026

Fourteen years ago today, a loud gremlin showed up at my door

A black kitten drinks from a bowl of milk.

A black kitten lies on its back, looking at the viewer.

A black kitten lies on its side, looking at the viewer.

A black kitten uses a slipper as a bed.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 12/07/2026

I've been watching Interview with the Vampire and did you know Assad Zaman is literally the prettiest human alive

Assad Zaman. He is shown here in his mid 30s, a frankly beautiful man with chestnut skin and black curly hair worn past the ears. He has soulful brown eyes because he's not a vampire in this particular shot, but if I told you he was you'd believe me, wouldn't you?

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 12/07/2026

Well well

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Bellingham/Erling Håland

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 11/07/2026

My fingers in the dry months

An image of loose-woven off-white cloth fraying at the edges.

Kris 🎃 HORRORchild @direkris.itch.io · 11/07/2026

How about you go fuck yourself and I never visit your website again

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