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Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 5h

DO NOT buy musical instruments from this man

000

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 6h

This looks a lot like CBS's "Marshals" promo, which is just shots of men in bulletproof vests pointing rifles, except "Marshals" doesn't show any black people.

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 6h

I'm buying a hammer and a baby tortoise and hoping that, given enough time, nature will create an ass-kicking tortoise hero.

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 6h

My man looks like Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter had a teleportation accident

1521

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 7h

If they vote well we should promise not to send them NC State/Virginia again next year

130

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 7h

I'm maybe being "grumpy old man" here but I feel like the Pro Sports parity and capability of any team to lose any game is due to Coaches and Star players being susceptible to the AI/Joe Rogan/fad health regimen corners of the internet. Susceptible to Polymarket too, but it's still illegal at least

000

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 8h

"Simpsons" 00's episode descriptions make me feel exhausted. It's the parodying whichever fad/zeitgeist subject to stay relevant in season 14 not even knowing there'll be 25 more seasons I like how "The Wire" makes it sound like every episode is about a wire I'd go Malcolm, Simpsons, Arrested, NFL

030

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 9h

How long do you gotta microwave that

000

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 11h

Yankon. Yankoff. Yankon. The Yanker.

050

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 11h

His Uncle is the MIT Professor!

"His father is the District Attorney!" from a promo for FOX drama "Skin" that annoyed viewers during MLB Playoffs

000

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 12h

They were screening their calls because Trump kept asking them to change the team name back. But eventually they had to leave the country.

Dimlan @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

The way the costume is layered, I think it'd be a lot of effort to be pantsless. But you gotta do it to establish alpha male dominance with Alfred.

120

It's been renewed for 2 more seasons

110

Too bad no one asked her to blink twice if she's under duress

061

They even scheduled the game for when it's convenient for the Pope

161

Just... Take a picture of your kid. Is there something incredibly desirable about the particular school picture background?

1280

I hope FOX and ESPN advertisers enjoy being positioned next to odious local political ads airing nationally for no reason.

000

Life be feeling like that sometimes

000

The war closed the Strait of Hormouse

040

Alternate ending in which Walter and Jesse hide out as a vaudeville duo

020

Hear me out... every Spider character played by 60-year-old Nicolas Cage.

000

Was he born in South America?

000

Ma, you won't believe the day I have planned for our anniversary. We're having lunch in the new Boulevard Room of the Sheraton-Jefferson *and* we're seeing Pat Fontaine do the weather live!

Americans are simple folk. They just want a near-$100 check once in awhile and to not have to adjust the clocks in the highest steeples and clocktowers twice a year.

160

Sluggo is just trying to survive day to day. Where does "appreciation of modern art" rate on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Nancy?

He was seen at a rally yesterday, and unless it happens on camera there'll spend a week comically pretending he's still alive.

000

There's nothing new under the Sun. "Flash Gordon" did the original Galactic Senate debating trade routes and "Mighty Mouse" did the original "eat my shorts." "Ruff and Ready" has been ruined by recent discoveries that the chicasaurus was pink and had feathers #PeakAthleticExcellence

A cartoon of championship bowlers looking like 50's sitcom dads

120

Rank UMars you cowards!

000

This is a spurious claim!

"Archie Jumbo Comic Magazine" calls itself "the official comic book of Christmas"

100

I'm split on whether this is kayfabe and the plot is the established characters are presumed killed and the newbie characters (led by Spider-Man for box office) rescue them in "Secret Wars" But it's also possible they want to give the story weight while also clearing the deck

We traded in our middle-aged X-Men for young, sexy X-Men. There's even a Jean Grey still in mint condition.

110

We used to have too many scientists and not enough clowns

000

RFK has been rejected too many times

Homer Simpson kissing Hans Moleman's forehead: "It's like kissing a peanut"

030

How bad did the Alabama rally go

001

Wow Penn State seems cursed. Did they recently honor a pedophile shielder or something.

ESPN will not say "no" to anything. Want to scam their viewers? Oh yes please! Want to turn their young viewers into gambling addicts? Yes, yes, let's plaster a sponsorship all over Crazy old man rants bought with stolen taxpayer money? Deposit cash here!

000

What will we do when it's NFL Sunday and everyone is coming over?

USA was America's favorite cable network? You can say anything in a TV Guide Channel 21 out of Long Island (which our antenna didn't pick up) was airing a whole night of British sitcoms I've never heard of. "Keep It In the Family" was remade as "Too Close for Comfort" 🤷‍♂️ I watched TGIF

220

There's nothing neon in this picture aside from the actual word "neon"

I don't think the jolly green giant did that.

020

I gotta admit, insofar as I care about announcers, I enjoyed his enthusiasm (which in retrospect could have been the drinking). Though he lost me when he joined Trump's fitness council.

I'm visiting family in Connecticut and keep seeing an anti-Ned Lamont ad about how he excluded data centers from paying taxes. Don't know if it's true but this is the main message Republicans here are running with.

140

Paramount doesn't seem to have a single "big" movie release this year. It's all horror, kid movies or middle America-friendly drama. Don't know if this indicates a cash flow problem or that if Tom Cruise is occupied they have no one else to lean on.

030

It feels logically impossible that they could spend $1 billion in three years and not make the playoffs. But also I think if they're at all competitive they'll do anything at the trade deadline to avoid missing playoffs? So I'm... optimistic

The main honoree will be Nixon after he's cleared of all charges