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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Oh that ornery girl...🙄 Just like Tabs to fill up on candy and ruin a perfectly enchanting dinner engagement. That girl incorrigible!! I mean who knew they was so "filling" tho' right? 🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

How much a pinch of da white stuff worth? 😳 Asking for fwen... 😬

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

That is an awful lot of scissoring...might wanna break things up with a bit of fingering. You know variety IS the spice of life!! 😆

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Youngest Boomer or Gen X-er I ever did see! "Had to walk uphill, downhill thru sleet & snow...hafta fight bear for seat on bus (which we had to push)." ...and that was just grade school! 🙄 Someone need to introduce her to "Farmboy Jude"...they could be soulmates...or at least commiserate. 😆

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

TR was an OG bad@$$ too...😎 I mean they even named some cool products and @#$! after his "club"...das pretty dope!! 😁🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

What da? 😳😬 Lookin' like Dante's Inferno...that's intolerable!! 🥵 Quick...pack some bags and head on up the coast. Meet ya in Cannon Beach next week!! 😁

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Let's introduce her to "Hedwig"...he just full of personalities too. 😳

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I mean...we did hear stories, rumors really from last weekend...🫣 Well...let's just say we was all advised not to utter the phrase "treinta años" for awhile. 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Damn Tabs...I mean just damn...😧 Wait...I wonder if my pickup line work on her doh?! 🤔 😁

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Oh she good...she real good. Dat first date idea sound like a real hoot...😬 😆🤣 Lemme guess...Tabs is auditioning for the part of Binx?

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

1000% 😆🤣👍 Poor pops... Peoples need to chip in and gets him this for Xmas or somethings... Transport dear ol' Tabs in safety and (relative) comfort...🫠

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Meanwhile SOCAL gonna be feelin' like Tatooine with those Santa Ana's (oh dat Ana gonna be ornery)... Stay cool (and hydrated) Tabs!!

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

The chilrens be wanting to see a barfday pic!! 🫠

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Fast AF with da cling wraps too!! Poor dude lookin' like Frodo in LOTR!! 😆

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Oh gawd...the horror...the HORROR!! Careful what you wish for.. 😬 BTW...I wonder why she pick those Greek letters for her whorority...opps fingers slipped, I mean sorority. Knowing Tabs, they probably has some secret alternate meaning like "Tabby Eats Apples" or somethings cute & innocent.🤔 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I mean...the resemblance is uncanny. 🤔 Come on...spill the beans. What insider's gossip you got as London's most alluring "it" girl...😎🔥

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Meanwhile... How I picture things are going... 🙄 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Oh the love...I just, I just can't. 🥹😭 🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Happy "Tabs Day"!! 😃 Even if you gotta work (Nat. holiday status pending) take a moment to wish SOCALs favorite golden girl (cuz she old AF) @tabathamarshal.bsky.social, the very best on a day truly worth celebrating. 🥳🎁🎂 She alright, good peeps, kinda special (but don't tell her I say so!) 😌💙

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Oh no!! Was it the tacos...did poor @tabathamarshal.bsky.social get bad tacos again?! 🫢😫 I hope she better in time for her birthday!! 🫠

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I mean...one cannot be surprised based on the evidence that was presented earlier this week. 🤓 Courtesy of @paulmorris.bsky.social 🤭🤣 Gonna hafta start callin' her Airtnb!! 🫢

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

What da what...is she like into charcuterie or somethings? I don't gets it. 🤔 Don't you be stealin' no "Josthansson" sex life secrets now!! 🫣🤣 Shizzzzz!!

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Against my better judgement...I googled it. Yep..it apparently a thing. Now I want to pop my eyes out my head, flush them in a glass of whiskey, grill some bacon and go clean some guns... What da hell dis world coming too...

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Sister duets are the best!! Hey wait a minute...this gives me great ideas for new pop duo sensation!! Taylor Swift cover never sounded so good!! 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

He must've recently watched "Goonies" and been inspired by One-Eyed Willy. Now he's off to build "booby traps"...

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Meet the assistant...and she ain't happy with this ruse. 🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Fair point...🤔 She go full on "beast mode" and there ain't no stoppin' @tabathamarshal.bsky.social !! I can't believe those evil voices in my head are encouraging me to post this. She really gonna blow a head gasket now...😬 I presentateth "Tabs the Angry Ogre"!! 😆🤣🤪

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

It's fine...it's fine. Ima just hang out for a few more days... Maybe checks back with @lollysuckwell.bsky.social and see if that ornery sis @tabathamarshal.bsky.social simmer down... 😬🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

...and that's Sir Derek!! 🙄 Can't believe @lollysuckwell.bsky.social forgot my royal title...it's not like I went to night school (🤭) for nuffin'!!! 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Gulp...wait, you weren't serious about coming up to Canada were you?! 😳 We'll be good...we'll be good....promise!!

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

You heard her...put yer feet up and spread em' or somethings...😆🤣 Happy Saturday Tabs!! 👍

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Forgets Tabaphobia... @tabathamarshal.bsky.social Fear of being bish slapped and/or pierced by sharp pointy things...😬

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

You'd be all clever and classy about it doh. Be like "I'm Tabs da Fire 🔥 Marshal and this is a random inspection...so put those noodles away and get da fug out!!" 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Don't play coy with me missy!! I knows they no way in hell you waiting in dat long arse line...(I mean, what are you gals even doing in there?!) when dey is no line to the men's room!!

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

They needs to update CAPTCHA policies...ass more challenging questions. Here try this... You've just consumed a @#$@load of Hoyne's finest and "nature's call" just picked up a bull horn. Which stall do you choose?

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

@tabathamarshal.bsky.social PS...you ever seen this? What can I say...travel insomnia and Canadian cable tv... It funny AF doh!!

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

How bout' dis? It kinda rare...bet it have great personality too. Dis crazy bish may needs to consider plankton. 🙄 😆🤣

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Ornery lil' @#$@'s What a perfect promo for birth control. Hear In-N-Out might be gettin' in the game...order a Double Double and get a free "Double Nope" Still, this probably pale in comparison to some of the @#$@ widdle Tabs say as a toddler. 🤔 Kinda feel an epic "top ten" list coming on..

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I knows a dude that would probably switch with him. Based on his last few experiences...he wasn't havin' a good time.

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Sir Derek Dirkenator III...Esq. @derekdirkenator.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Arbitrarily changing names of stuff sounds fun!! Lemme try!! Hey that was easy!! 😆🤣 Looky Looky...you is bigtime now, have a nice building named after you and everything!! Okay...really gotta go now. 😉 Stay golden...make good life choices!!

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